4.5 year old bed wetting - it has been our fault! what to do??

[testbunny]

hi there

my dd has been out of nappies for 2 years now - also at bed time. however, we have got into the habit of taking her to the loo when we go to bed and she is still asleep. it has now become a habit and whenever we leave her or when she sleeps in late in the morning she doesn't wake up when she needs to pee so she wets the bed.

I know we have been doing the 'dream pee' for far too long, i guess as it is easy! but how do we get her to wake up when she needs to go??

many thanks

I used to whisper in my DD's ear whilst she was asleep 'don't pee the bed' 'if you need a wee, get up and go pee'
It worked for us !

That's one of the reasons continence services advise against lifting in the night, the child gets in to a habit and isn't getting the signals that should be waking them up.

Both mine were late being dry at night with boy being 7 before it was sorted! Unfortunatly night time incontinence is not considered a medical issue until children are over 7. Initially I just persisted with wet nights for a few months in the hope that he would get it. When he didn't we went back to night time pants for a while then tried again. Second time without pants we had about 9-10 months of 3 or 4 dry nights a week before it was 7/7. I invested in a good waterproof sheet for the matress and some cheap extra bedding. My son and I changed his bed together whenever it needed doing, and made sure he had a bath/shower in the morning!

thanks for this. i will try the whispering! fingers crossed

crikey - i hope it is sorted before she turns 7! our own fault though.....

Hi
We had the same problem with our five year old - we'd got into the habit of lifting at about 11pm and if we didn't, she would wet the bed. In the end we just stopped the lifting and went through about 3 weeks of her wetting the bed and then she just got it! She doesn't wake up in the night to go to the loo, but seems to be able to wait till morning now. We do make sure she doesn't have a drink after about 5pm.
Not sure how long you've stopped lifting for, but might be worth persevering with it. We had two waterproof mats, one under the sheet and one on top, so most nights we could just take off the top mat when she wet the bed. When it's hot, just put a sheet over them to avoid the soaking wet duvet too!
Hope this helps. Don't beat yourself up about the lifting, loads of people do it and I'm sure she'll sort herself out soon.
x

We were told that it was ok to lift them at night as long as they woke up enough to know what was happening.

thanks ponjii very reassuring. i have used a waterproof mat under the sheet but one on top too is a good idea

we waked her up at 11pm last night and made her walk to the bathroom herself. she was unsettled though i think because she woke up so woke at 5am! it could have just been a coincidence though. i think we will do this for a few more nights then leave her.

a friend has recommended a bed wetting alarm but they are quite expensive. has anyone tried one?

my 5.5 year old is still in pull ups at night - some children just take longer to get it - not sure the lifting is an issue really
I would try a couple of weeks without lifting and then decided what to do - we decided to go back into pull up

Funny you should say about the bed wetting alarm. My brother had one years ago (he's now 35!). My mum says it worked brilliantly - a bit traumatic for a few nights with the alarm going off (we shared a room and I remember it well!) but think it only took a few nights to work. But I don't think you need to worry about that just yet, he was 9, I think bed-wetting at 4 is totally normal.
Good luck with it all.

Thanks. Sorry for the late reply. I looked on the dry notes website (really useful). One of the articles on it about alarms said that it is best to use them from aged 7 when the child can understands what is happening. so we will continue with trying without it! Thanks,