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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Um, sensitive subject. 3yo dd masterbates??

23 replies

thingamajig · 07/07/2011 20:03

I am really aware that trying to talk about this will have you shouting 'hairy handed trucker', but I would like to be reassured that it is normal. Can anyone help?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

madrose · 07/07/2011 20:04

It's normal.

Littlefish · 07/07/2011 20:07

She does it because it feels nice. It's completely normal. Just distract her.

meditrina · 07/07/2011 20:07

It's normal. Ignore.

Tee2072 · 07/07/2011 20:09

Why would we yell 'hairy handed trucker'?

100% normal. In fact, she's a bit of a late bloomer. My 2 year old can't keep his hands off his penis.

smallwhitecat · 07/07/2011 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

thingamajig · 07/07/2011 20:36

Thank you so much. I know it is normal really but I am a bit messed up myself in these respects and I wanted reassurance.

OP posts:

bumpybecky · 07/07/2011 20:42

it's normal, ignore it if you can

if it's not possible to ignore - doing it on the sofa next to her grandparents for example (oh yes she did!) then either ask her to sit nicely, or to go and do it in private in her bedroom

she's stopped doing it in front of everyone now, but expect it still happens after she's been put to bed

allthefires · 07/07/2011 20:44

It's normal- just ignore it.

Ivortheengine8 · 07/07/2011 21:02

My 20 month old does stuff down there and I wasn't sure either what to do/say - she keeps taking off her nappy at the moment too at home. :(
Did you other mums say anything/do anything to stop it or did you just leave it?

girliefriend · 07/07/2011 21:06

My dd use to take herself off for some 'quiet time' in her bedroom and I would finding her have a good explore!

My attitude was its her body as long as its in private its fine!!!

Skillbo · 07/07/2011 23:06

One of my earliest memories is telling my mum that when I touched myself down there, it felt nice. She told me to stop it so I didn't rediscover the pleasures until my mid-teens.

Made me realise how a throwaway comment can have such an effect on a young child over something that is perfectly normal.

My advice would be not to worry and go with the flow - just perhaps explain it's something that is best done in private!

hester · 07/07/2011 23:17

Completely normal

debivamp · 08/07/2011 13:47

know exactly how you feel. My daughter did the same, i was initially shocked (did not show it) and had a chat with my childminder. She reassured me that it was normal and that she would just stop doing it on her own. She was totally right. Just one of those things that parents dont talk able = fear of judgement and all that.

RoxyRobin · 08/07/2011 13:52

Normal. Read about this years ago in Freud's 'On Sexuality', so it's official!

savoycabbage · 08/07/2011 13:54

My dd has just started doing this too. What can I say to her to get her to stop doing it at her friends houses or at nursery?

When we were watching dd1 play basketball I asked dd2 to stop and she asked why and I told her that it was something she could do at home but not at basketball and she said why..... and I panicked and said I didn't want her to get cold lying on the basketball court.

girliefriend · 08/07/2011 20:24

Haha savoy funny!

I would just explain that those parts of her body are private, its fine for her to touch them if she wants but this is best done in her own bedroom.

I also used it as an opportunity with my dd to talk about how it is fine for her to touch those areas but no body else every should and that if anyone ever did she must tell mummy. Sad that you have to have these conversations really

theliverpoolone · 08/07/2011 20:35

You've just made me realise that dd (age 3) seems to have stopped recently - she used to do this when she was settling down to sleep. I just let her get on with it.

franke · 08/07/2011 20:40

my dd used to do it by wiggling around on a bicycle seat or arm of the sofa. Completely normal.

Rosemallow · 08/07/2011 20:46

DD used to do this too. Nursery told us that she had pulled her trousers and nappy down a couple of times to 'investigate'. They also told us that it was usually only boys who went to those extremes I ignored that part!
She still pokes about in the bath but is easily distracted.

hester · 08/07/2011 22:47

Rosemallow, what complete nonsense (from your nursery, I mean). I have known little girls who were champion masturbators I even know one who has had to be discouraged from getting her dog to join in

OP, you just need to start the conversation about public and private behaviours. This is a very useful concept for them to grasp: today masturbation, tomorrow nose-picking...

OuchFriggingBludger · 08/07/2011 23:17

my mother told me to stop it,that it was dirty,and i should be ashamed,when i was quite little. suffice to say,im still quite messed up in that area.....

my DD has just discovered it at 2.11yrs,
i ignore,ignore,ignore.
or if it's really inappropriate,or we are around people who i think may comment,(my mother) i distract her,eg "ooooooh! shall we do a puzzle!!? "

Ivortheengine8 · 09/07/2011 07:21

Rosemallow, that is nonsense. My 21 month old DD does it. She keeps pulling her nappy down at the moment and poking about.

hester · 09/07/2011 21:37

My niece can do things with her clitoris that have me in awe. My two girls are rank amateurs compared to her...

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