3yr old behaviour

[TheLadyEvenstar]

DS2 has started to demand things and if he doesn't get his own way he shouts at me.

I have just told him he cannot run around naked when I have workmen here and so he is shouting at me.

As a result I have turned his tv programmes off. resulting in him shouting more.

Is this normal?

yes. Mine stamps her foot as well. So endearing.

It makes things worse if you shout back, as it just normalises shouting. I tell her I don't want to be shouted at, and it is rude to stamp her foot. And hope that deep down she cares that it is rude and hurtful.

I feel your pain. I get the word NO shouted at me as well, in response to perfectly reasonable, and usually complied with, requests. Absolutely random.

I think it is just part of a three year old's remit to be utterly unreasonable and see what the consequences are. Sometimes I set out the consequences - like that shouting just makes people NOT want to do things for you, but I think it is one of those things you just have to work at and work at, without seeing an immediate effect.

Bring on the fourth birthday.

Kite, you think it will get better by then?

I only have DS1 to go by nd he is almost 13 now. But at 3 he was a very quiet but curious child - just found out he has aspergers which explains a lot. But I don't know what or how a typical 3yr old behaves...

Yes, I think it does get better as long as you deal with it in a positive way. Refusing to get dressed is totally common, and a friend of mine has often had to let her DD go to kindy wearing only a summer dress, when the weather required a bit more warmth!, because that was all she could get agreement on.
I saw Helena Bonham-Carter complain on national TV that all her three year old daughter seemed to do was demand things from her until she wanted to ban the words "I want" from the English language.
I find the refusing to go to bed thing particularly tiresome. And demanding an "off limits" food for lunch. It is always when I am tired or busy that I have to pull out all stops on the best parenting practice. I usually try the "these are your options...choose, but X (insert unallowable) is NOT an option today" approach. So they get a little bit of power back but ARE NOT running around naked in front of strangers, or eating chocolate for lunch. Or I say, yes you can stay up but that means we won't be going to blah blah in the morning because I can't risk you being tired for that..."
I do often find I am teetering on the precipice of bribery or threats, and I hate feeling manipulative even when I am presenting it "properly".
As you can see by the fact that I was lurking on this thread, I still have no idea whether I am getting it right. I just don't want to go down the Supernanny route of being in control all the time.

I am sorry you have had an aspergers diagnosis for your first son. That must be really hard.

3 yr olds are challenging. I find it best to approach things sideways - direct orders make my 3 yr old v angry and defiant, but if getting dressed is a game then she is more likely to help. Eg. What is that tummy doing? Can you hide your tummy under a t shirt? I bet you can't put that t shirt on all by your self!

totally agree with parietal. games are good

You'd think I would know exactly how to deal with him considering I have DS1 but they are sooooo very different.

DS2 is currently washing up

My DD is 3 and being a nightmare at the moment.
Very tiresome but totally normal I believe!