9 month old sleep/feeding stuff. I am really tired.

[GreenTeapot]

DD is 9 months and mostly BF but self-feeds some stuff too. She spends 2 days a week with a CM where she gets formula in a cup but she doesn't like it and takes little. I also work a couple of evenings a week so can't always be there for bedtime, although her preference is to BF to sleep.

When I'm not there at bedtime she screams the place down. I've been brushing her teeth and putting her in a grobag between the last feed and going into her cot but she just knows I'm not there and howls. Of course she still seems to be relying on BFing a lot so I worry she's hungry.

Which leads onto nights - waking up every 45-90 mins from bedtime onwards, often refusing to settle without a feed. Now I'm having to leave her I worry she's hungry so I just feed her but I feel like that just makes it harder for her to settle when I'm not around. It's really tough on DP too, not to mention DS who then gets relegated to last priority at bedtime.

I'd like her to self-settle but I want to continue BFing for as long as she wants. I feel that I have to choose to stop demand feeding in order to get her settling better but don't want to - if that makes any sense!

Or she could just be teething again

I don't quite know that there's a problem with any of this stuff but it's just getting tougher and I'm tired and would be really grateful for any words of wisdom.

Firstly, why is she having formula from a cup? Are you very anti bottles? I know some people are but babies really like the comfort.

I'm no expert, but I'd guess she's confused about bedtimes. It sounds like she doesn't have a fixed routine due to your working some evenings (I'm presuming some nigths she gets a bf at bedtime and other nights a bottle?)

I think your best bet would be to keep every night the same as far as you can. That might have an effect on the reest of her night. At the moment it seems like she's unsettled.

What time do you put her to bed and what time do you start work?

Sorry about the typos

I'm not anti-bottles, but she is

Our routine is consistent and has been since around 5 months - play with DS after dinner, upstairs, nappy change, into sleepsuit, BF then brush teeth and into bag and bed. It's the same when DP does it but no milk because she doesn't want any. She starts objecting at the getting-undressed stage apparently.

Sorry, she usually goes to bed between half 6 and 7pm, I start work at 4pm.

Thanks, all ideas welcomed :)

Have you tried expressing so that it's breast milk in the bottles rather than formula?

Yeah, she's still not very interested. Which is one of a number of reasons for me not just expressing milk - too much effort for it to be sprayed all over the CM's floor!

I feel your pain and unfortunately have no words of wisdom!
I am currently listening to my 8 month old DS scream the house down as my DH is trying to settle him
He is also ebf and usually nursed down to bed,which we managed 1 hour ago and then he woke up screaming!
I originally went to soothe him to sleep but to no prevail and like yourself I am keen to stop comfort feeding him to sleep but am worried that I'm leaving him hungry.
I have hardly left him for an evening in his 8 months of life but am due to on Tues so this is why DH is persisting as I type.
It is breaking my heart!!!
He still wakes 2+ in the night and I also wonder whether he 'needs' those feeds.
It is so exhausting especially when I work 3 days a week (work tomorrow)
Anyway sorry to hi jack your thread, just wanted you to know your not on your own
((hugs))

Thanks and sorry you're having this strife too. My first was very similar and I was also away a lot for work when he was this age and it's tough. It only really got easier with him when he was old enough to properly follow a bedtime storybook. But he's always been a special case as far as matters of sleeping go!