3yo DS sometimes pretends he's a girl

[connyrabbit]

He doesn't do this particularly often, but he has just been having a 10 minute discussion about being a girl and needing dresses with DH who has completely freeked out and asked me to post it on Mumsnet.
Is this a common-ish make believe game, or is this something more profound?
He likes girls, comments on their nice legs, and does seem to get girl crushes.
Does he do this perhaps because he finds them so pretty and irresistible that he occasionally likes pretending to be Poppy or Gretel from nursery?

Anyone with any experience of this sort of behaviour in a boy?

Thanks all!

Your DH asked you to post on Mumsnet?

My 4 year old dd has spent the day pretending to be a dog called Chuffles, I wouldn't worry about it.

(Gretel?!)

My DS is 3.5 and loves girly things- like pink, wearing my necklaces etc, it's just him pretending to be like mummy and it's only now that he is starting to separate out 'girls' V 'boys' things, which I think is a shame! He has also asked to wear a dress and pretend to BF his little brother. All part of growing up IMO and nowt to worry about :) He is also totally into cars, guns and soldiers, to him they are just all good things to play with and he has no concept of gender specific things- which is good!

Sounds like you should be more concerned about your husbands reaction IMO!

It's totally normal - at 3, children like to pretend all kinds of things. They may well spend the day being a dog, cat, tiger, dinosaur, train, almost anything and anyone is fair game. Why would he not want to include girls in the list? Specially when he can combine pretending with dressing-up, both of which are fun. Please reassure your DH it's just what small children are like, and has no connection whatsoever with their gender identity or sexuality, which I guess is what freaks him out?

One of my more fabulous friend's brother used to pretend he was Tina Turner. He'd insist on putting a towel on his head for hair and using others as dresses. He is notably normal now, at 19

DS aged 3 likes to push a pink toy pram, paint his toenails with fingerpaints and has a baby doll. He's also a very boisterous rough and tumble boy. Nothing to worry about. Fathers seem to worry more about this. One friend's DH wouldn't let her buy "girl's toys" like pram or hoover for her son, which I personally think is riduculous.

DS1 was v keen on dresses at 3 and had pink sandals - still likes pink and some girly things, but as he's now in Reception he is aware that there are some things that only boys or girls 'should' like, so he is a bit more coy about it now, which makes me a bit . Also loved pushing prams, playing with dolls etc.

Hope your DH has calmed down and realised that this is perfectly normal - certainly not something to freak out over .

Yes he asked to post it on Mumsnet :) Previous enquiries have resulted in satisfactory replies, in his view.

Thank you all for your replies, it all makes perfectly sense.

Ds, aged just 4, will sometimes say he's a girl and sometimes he's a boy. He's got only sisters and plays mostly with girls at preschool. I have a lovely photo of him in a pink tutu and hairband. Good for later girlfriends
He's actually a very boyish boy, and most of the time will choose to play with boys stuff etc. just I think isn't restricted by what others think.

One of DD1's best friends is a little boy, who is an only child. I have a wonderful photo of them when they were 4, both all dressed up in fairy dresses, tiaras, the lot. He's 7 now, loves football, is a boisterous little boy. I still love having him round to play as he is the most straightforward, delightful little boy in the world (and he will still play 'girls' games with DD1 but only if no-one is watching!).

PS can you tell I'm having problems with DD1 and some difficult behaviour from the girls in her class?

My cousin spent huge swathes of time aged 3-5 dressed as a girl. He particularly liked my taffeta party dresses (this was a looong time ago when taffeta was trendy). I used to put make up on him. I was only about 8 or 9 myself and it was fun. Neither of us gave a thought to gender and worrying about boys and girls, we were just HAVING FUN.

He is now a highly successful, very good-looking and very macho banker who has a series of stunning girlfriends, damn him.

Though if he ever does get married I have some great anecdotes and one very damned photo .
fgs, your son is fine. Tell your DH to put his hackles down.