Dummy use - should I or shouldn't I?

[peedieworky]

Hi all,

Hope you guys can help as have wound myself up about this! DS approaching 5 weeks old & is a joy in the mornings, has his naps, but refuses to sleep in the afternoon which makes for a noisy nightmare child very grizzly wee baby by afternoon. He will sleep in the car or buggy but when he gets overtired like that he tends to wind himself up so badly that there's no way he can sleep otherwise (have tried white noise etc but he just screams over it - though it works a treat when he's rested). Thankfully, he goes down great at night (let's hope I haven't tempted fate there..)

So - my sister in law suggested I use a dummy so soothe him and the past couple days I have given him one very briefly (5-10 mins) just to settle him enough to then get him to sleep (it gets whipped out of his mouth the minute his eyelids get droopy so that he is still getting himself to sleep as he would in the morning/evening).

My problem is I'm so concerned that he'll get reliant on the dummy and that despite my best intentions he'll start needing it in morning/at night. But then again, I am struggling to get any rest at all during the day as he only sleeps in afternoon when I'm driving/pushing buggy otherwise and as I had an emergency section it's hard work.

Any advice/experience would really help. I've had myself in tears over this and don't know why am making it such a big issue!

I gave my dd a dummy and it helped settle her, they will get reliant on it to a certain extent I don't think there's much you can do about this tbh but i found it easy to wean her off it, I just cut her down to using it only for bedtime, if anything it helpedto wean her off bottles at night as the dummy comforted her instead.

There is research that shows that dummies help prevent SIDS? I think? I am 29 weeks and will be giving this one a dummy too

If it's working at the moment, do it. Sounds like he's not actually sleeping with it and if it's calming him down enough so that he can have a decent nap then where is the harm? Use it for the afternoon nap, have a sleep yourself.

Don't worry about bad habits this early on, seriously just go with what works at this stage :) If you are worried just use it for sleep and just for naps.

One thing that IS a massive pain is when they need a dummy to go to sleep at night, and then wake up in the night looking for it, so if you can avoid that then great, but then if it works to settle them for a good nights sleep then it can be worth it.

Why did you not want to give a dummy?

I don't think dummies are the evil things they are made out to be and if they make your life less stressful then don't hesitate :)

well my 6mth dd sounds very similar to yours, she would sleep fine in the mornings and the afternoon was a nightmare, we gave her a dummy, she does now have it for all her sleeps, tho it often drops out and she stays asleep.

non of my boys had one, but she needed one, some babies do, some dont, it soothes her and sucking is a natural comfort to babies, that they will grow out of, if it works use it and dont stress about it imo :)

I was like you scared stiff of creating 'habits'. My dd would struggle during the day to sleep and I simply refused to give her a dummy. When she reached 6 months she would struggle even more to drop off during the day and I gave in. Since then she gets her dummy for daytime naps and when she is upset before bedtime or when she gets very tired and grumpy. I can tell that she loves it and it does calm her. Sometimes I see her reaching out for it during the day (if I have left it lying somewhere) and putting it in her mouth which I find very cute. However, since she did not use the dummy for all those months I still try to limit it and remove it from her sight during the day. She falls asleep without it and does not use it during the night. I guess to each their own but I am far more relaxed about it now. :)

I would say chill your beans peedieworky :) i don't understand all the angst about dummies at all. my DD had a dummy from day 3!! it was a sanity saver to say the least, and helped calm her down making for a much happier mummy and baby. Yes she did get dependent on it to sleep but the older she got (she is now 1) the more she would get used to it falling out in the night and getting herself back to sleep without it. She still has it every now and again in the day and for sleeps but I have gradually decreased it bit by bit and its working fine, she hasn't really noticed at all. From my experience, it hasn't even been an issue. I think the only thing I'd advise is to make sure you start to wean him off it before he's too conscious of the change (which for me was only about 2 months ago!). Play it by ear, and go for it I say! (p.s. take it easy on yourself, we only do the best we can, with what we've got, at the time we've go it! no one can ask anymore :) )

Thanks everyone. greenshot19 you have hit the nail on the head! I need to chill out but for some reason this issue has had me so wound up! I never really thought I was for or against dummy use but got some hurtful remarks from my mother-in-law when I admitted using one and also started fretting about the aforementioned issue with them using the dummy at night and then getting agitated when they spit it out.. Afraid I am one of those people who over-analyse everything so am always thinking 10 steps ahead to problems that may never arise! Do they do adult versions - I think I need something to soothe me!!!

lol! interestingly my MIL also had an aversion to dummies (a generational thing maybe), until she saw how well it worked and was then very grateful to have one when I left DD with her!! another piece of advice (which I also need to listen to!) is follow your own instinct and don't be put down by other peoples opinions :)

peedieworky I didn't want my DD to have a dummy. I don't know why, but I just don't like them.

BUT it was the only thing that got her having consistent naps during the day so in many ways it has been a lifesaver.

She is now 5.5mo and has needed it during the night too for about a month now which isn't ideal, but she just loves her dummy. I think it will get easier when she can put it back in herself. Although when it frustrates me I just read some if the stories on here and think if the dummy falling out isn't waking her in the night then something else will. babies sleep is so changeable, and once they can put the dummy in themselves there is no problem!

There are pros and cons to dummy use, just like anything. But you need to do what works for you and your LO and no one will judge you for that.

Honestly it will be fine - my DS2 had one from about a 1 month - after 6 or 7 months he stopped wanting it

dd1 used a dummy, and dd2 who is 10 months never wanted one. To be honest, after being anti dummies when dd1 started having one, there are times I wish dd2 would. It is proving tricky to comfort dd2 at night with anything other than bfing her. She also fights sleeping in the day sometimes, and with dd1 I could just pop it in for a few minutes to settle her, dd2 needs either feeding or a walk in the pushchair . dd1 only had them for sleeps and dropped them fairly easily about 2.5 yo. I probably could have done it sooner, but we were moving at the time so left it til later.

Hi ,
Both my daughters took dummies and did come quite easy. I think it's a simple trick of not giving it so ofter. Check out this blog it has loads of tips and hints toddlerdevelopmentblog.com/dictating-dummies
Hope this helps.
Thanks

If he likes it I would say do it I really didn't want to use one at first either but for no real reason, but gave in after a week having seen how calm it made him. He's now 4 month old and uses it to settle, but spits it out once he is calm, usually before he is asleep so he doesn't wake looking for it. He also loves to chew on it as it's much easier for him to hold than any teether so it's multi purpose