Dd made me so sad

[heavenlylily]

My gorgeous dd (4yrs) has always been a bit shy and takes a while to come out of her shell with other children, even if she knows them from nursery. She has always been more confident around adults. Nursery have told us that she seems to prefer her own company and that her behaviour is completey normal. which I accept. We have always been careful to check she is still getting on ok at nursery and there have never been problems. However, and am filling up as I write this, the other day she said to me "I don't play as much with the others, they have their friends already so I play on my own a lot and sometimes get a bit sad". She went on to tell me that she looks out for her little brother (2yrs) a lot and plays with him. I'm really worries as she starts school in Sept and am concerned she will find it hard to make friends and I don't want her to be lonely . Nursery still don't think this is an issue. Any advice??

Could you invite a nursery pal round for tea - one which will be joining her in Sept. Then invite another, then another?
I'm sure more advice will come along. Unfortunatley, we can't make our children be 'out there' can we? They are the characters/personlities that they are. My dd is sensitive and hasn't yet been able to stand up for herself - typical 7 year old tittle tattle - bit it makes me worry for her.
Good luck.

Hello,didn't want you to go unheard!I found the same with my eldest dd12.She only really had one or two friends to play with,but I think back now and think it may be a gender thing as my DS5 is quite a social butterfly who flits around and plays with whoever's going! If he can't find anyone then he'll play happily on his own.I must admit though,if your daughter has expressed sadness at this situation then that's a different matter.It does tear your heart out doesn't it when your children say that they are sad? I would say that you need to pass on how your daughter feels to the nursery and maybe they can organise more group play at playtime or a little buddy scheme maybe?

Aw, my DD is also more confident around adults and often says similar things about nursery. I think some of the language children use is provocative, iyswim, although not deliberately so - eg DD will say, sadly, 'X doesn't want to be friends with me' when sometimes it transpires she means X was doing something else and DD wanted her to stop and play with her!

Do you know yet who will be in her class in September? We've recently found out and have made plans with some of the mums to have playdates in the summer so they will at least have a few familiar faces even if they don't necessarily become good friends. Although, interestingly, none of them are from nursery, only children/parents we know (either well or vaguely) locally. DD has specifically said she "doesn't like" any of the nursery children who will be in her new class - I suspect that's because they are all boys and quite full-on and boisterous.

I'm sure your DD will be fine. I know several people whose DC were very similar at nursery, didn't integrate at all well, but had a great time once they started school!