Six years old and he just won't listen to me.

[andrewsl]

What can I do, my six year old little boy is constantly fighting with me. He is as good as gold at school but at home his behaviour at home at times is dreadful. I work full time but always do the drop off and we do have nice times when he is doing what he wants to do. He is dyslexic and I struggle to get him to do his homework which turns into a screaming match (I know.. ). I get told to shut up, shut my gob - all totally disrespectful. I am a single mum with an au pair and I see red when he just takes everything that he has for granted. Please help, what can I do?

sounds like he is going through a phase. I remember DD being really difficult at around that age.

How about offering a reward for doing his homework? Pocket money or a treat he really likes?
Then you don't have to argue, if he refuses, he just doesn't get his treat/pocket money.

Good luck, I'm sure things will get better.

go easy on him! my son is a bit like this (also 6). he has ASD and school is such a struggle for him, that when he gets home it's like this huge release. It causes him so much stress just holding it together all day that he needs to explode at home
i wonder if your son could be the same? it must be hard if he has dyslexia and he struggles with work, and having to then do work at home as well may just be too much for him

tbh I only do homework with ds1 if he is willing to do it because I can't see the point in forcing the issue, it just creates resentment and further unwillingness. thankfully his teacher agrees and said just to do what he is happy doing and of course we'll work on helping him get it done better as he gets older and more able to cope

but yeh, for the time being i reckon just cut him some slack, he's only 6!

You are so right... I feel so under pressure from the school sometimes and just want to be seen to be doing the right thing. He is only six and yes, he fines it incredibly tough. I just care so much and want him to be able to read as he is forever buying books from WHS but flips through the pages telling me after a few minutes he has read half way. Its very hard finding the balance. I have a meeting with special needs this week and they are keen to know that he is practicing at home. He had twice the amount of homework than others on one of the half terms its just ridiculous.

oh bless him :(

of course it's important to practice with him, but not if it means it puts him off completely.
ds1 was the most reluctant reader EVER. I think he probably is still bottom of his class for reading, but just lately he has started sounding stuff out and telling me what things say on signs and in cafes and on the tv... so he's getting there in his own time

i keep reminding myself that in plenty of other countries children aren't even starting school til 6/7 and that maybe we just expect too much from them.

when you have your meeting it's worth saying that it's becoming really difficult at home and that he just doesn't need that extra stress and what do they suggest

do you know what, i would be really very surprised if any child understood a subject better or became more proficient at it on account of doing homework (with possible exception of reading books speeding up the learning to read process.)

also some schools and some teachers dont actually agree with or believe in homework.

most importantly of all, your son has had an utter demoralising humiliating gutful of struggling to do schoolwork at school. You now have the choice to be on his side, to make a difference to him and let him be a child instead of someone who is always struggling with their homework.

Take a step back, perhaps fix a reasonable amount of time for a 6 year olds homework (post in primary ed board for ideas, maybe 15 or 20 mins) and let him spend that much time on it and then put the darn thing away.

I would prob write to teacher to tell them this is what you will be doing from now on.

You might get more ideas posting in special needs- children as well.

He sounds like he is fed up bless him, the time he has with you is spent with you nagging him to do more school work - I'd be fed up as well!!!

I think just relax a bit and try and focus on doing things that are fun - he is only 6!!!

I have a girl, nearly six, who has no problems at school, has a mother who works some days per week and generally has a stable home/school life with no obvious problems. She is going through a phase of doing nothing she's been asked to do and shouting and stamping her foot a lot. It may just be a development phase (I'm no expert). I'm working on not doing anything to inflame the situation while pointing out what I consider to be unacceptable and am hoping it will pass. While we all worry, sometimes problems pass by doing nothing - we can sometimes be bothering our children by trying too hard.