My 5 year old does not listen, ever! Help?

[FullTimeStudentNurseAndMumOf3]

Hi, I have a 5 year old boy who doesn't ever listen to us. He continually does his own thing and has a poor concentration span. He is doing very well at school but it's driving me nuts at home. He's a very sensitive little man and gets upset when we get annoyed with him for nor listening, but continues to do so. Help!

My 5yo DS has glue ear and often doesn't hear. Other times he doesn't listen. Despite parenting him for five years, and knowing that he has a hearing impairment which sometimes has a significant effect, and sometimes doesn't affect him much, I cannot tell the difference between DS1 not hearing and DS1 not listening.

Has he had a hearing test?

Not much help, but DD1 (6) is the same and that is the only thing which doesn't seem to improve with age.
But again looking at DH I see where it comes from and find it really annoying. Is one of you like that as an adult? (i.e. not listening to anything anybody says, day dreaming and talking over). If yes, it will be more difficult for your DS not to follow your example. You have to change your behaviour before you can ask him to change his.
Also I make sure that DD1 always looks at me in the eyes when I talk to her and often make her repeat what I say.
Sometimes she deliberately ignores something we said and for that I am powerless, it usually ends up in punishment (no TV or no park after school).

I've mentioned this to my other half but he seems to think it's just poor concentration. I suppose I've assumed that if he had probs with hearing, it would have been picked up at school. Do you mind me asking whether your DS is being treated for glue ear and if so what the treatment is?

Good point let DD1 has had a hearing test and she has a perfect hearing, so my "advice" apply only to not listening.
When I punish her I make sure it is a case of not listening or ignoring (and then only if it is important) rather than not hearing. As a child (and now adult) with impaired hearing I find that revolting to be punished for something you have no clue about and no control.

Yes my husband doesn't look me in the eye when I'm talking to him. It drives me crazy and I believe it's very rude, however, have learnt to live with it as it became a pointless argument. Interestingly though he had glue ear as a child and I wonder if that is where this behaviour comes from. My DD isn't like this though and she is a year younger??

Oh yes I completely agree. It would be awful to be frustrated with him if he has a hearing problem and I didn't realise. I will go to my GP first to rule this out before addressing his behaviour. Thank you for all advice

DS1 has had grommets for glue ear but they have now come out - they made a huge positive difference for the 18m that they were in: DS1 made huge leaps in confidence, social skills and language. He can't have another set of grommets at the moment, and his hearing is still up and down. It's usually worse in the autumn and winter because it's cold and cough season. He was borderline for whether he'd benefit from hearing aids at the last test, but because we were about to have the summer, he didn't go for them, but would in the winter.

Don't rule out hearing problems because school haven't picked up on it. DS1 can lipread perfectly :)

Thank you. Yes I'll def have his hearing tested, nothing to loose and if there is a problem then I'll be so grateful to pick up on it now