my son does not enjoy being in his class

[chopchopslowcoach]

My son is doing very well at school but is unhappy in his class. He enjoys being with the children in the other class (there are 2 classes each year). Class swapping is not an option according to the headmaster. I am considering taking him out but i am not sure if i am doing the right thing? Any advice?

it would help to know what age/class he is in...

But generally he will at some point have to learn to get along will all sorts of people as he progresses through school / further education / work so if you're at the early stages of this, taking him out for something relatively minor may not help in the long run.

It's June! Or are you talking about sept?
How do you know what class he'll be in then?

My son is in Year 3. They stay in the same class every year. I understand the part about learning to get along but just cant bear to see him crying at bedtime. We have this problem since the last year. I tried encouraging him to play with them but he kept saying that they wont play with him. The children are not doing anything wrong, they just dont want to include him in their games. The other class, however, has always welcomed him. The school cant do anything about it. I have no right to demand. I feel that the only option is to take him out and let him start anew somewhere else.

Of course the school could do something, there is no obligation to maintain the same mix of children throughout and children must come and go presenting the opportunity to move others too. dd has felt similar this year (disruptive influences and girls who shun her) but they normally reshuffle every 2 years anyway. tbh it sounds like you need to make more waves but from the schools pov he is only one child of 60ish :( so you may feel the need to start over again elsewhere.

You have a right to "demand" or at least expect for your child to be happy in school. And the school should be encouraging good socialising within the class and making sure each child is happy- ok I know they don't have hours and hours for this, but some basics should be in place for helping any children left out cold so to speak.

Have you spoken to the class teacher about this? If it is upsetting him this much it sounds like it needs some input from the class teacher to help him make friends in the class. Also, I can see the general rule of not moving classes (bit narrow), but would they not make an exception once in a while- that is after they've tried other strategies? I would think of a different school as last option but if the school really are unresponsive then perhaps it is not the best environment to be in anyway!

We have spoken to the school a few times. The head said that he sees no reason to move him as he is doing well academically and that he would see his friends from the other class during break and that they would try to create opportunities for the children to interact. He also said that my son might not be able to adapt to the new school and would still be unhappy and effect his studies. It is so difficult being a parent, you want to protect your children and you want them to be happy but at the same time, you dont want to shelter them from everything as it is part of the learning curve... i really dont know what is the next best option.

If they don't want to move him then they must do more to integrate him in his current class.

I would be making another appointment to see his class teacher and be very assertive and straight with him/her and say "my child feels unwelcome, his peer group are not including him, he is crying himself to sleep with unhappiness. I can't sort this because I am not at school. What specific and new strategies will you put in place to help him?"

the ball is in their court! Good luck, it's horrible when they're miserable. It's easy for the teachers to ignore/minimise his issues because of course the upset mostly comes out at home. So he needs you to be his 'voice' and just keep banging on until he gets some better help. Good luck.

To those who have contributed today - thank you very much. I feel stronger now. I will speak to the school again after this break before making a decision.