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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Toddler ocd

12 replies

sarahbeth2 · 28/05/2011 11:08

I have already posted about my 3 yr olds behaviour (bless her she is very difficult) one of the things i struggle with is her ocd. I know that toddlers have this but to what extreme?
She has to do most things in the same order otherwise my god there is a complete meltdown. Examples, she has to put the toothpaste on the toothbrush herself, she has to get her teddies arranged in bed before you can put the tv on, we have to follow the exact same routine before bed... its so rigid and she gets so upset if you forget one or something goes wrong. We then have to start from the beginning...

I am already worried with her extreme behaviour there may be something else going on here, can anyone advise?

Thanks

OP posts:

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belgo · 28/05/2011 11:10

I think it is possible for toddlers to have OCD but what you describe could be perfectly normal. All of my children have behaved like them to a greater or lesser extent.

If you are worried, can you have a chat with her health visitor or nursery school teacher?

DooinMeCleanin · 28/05/2011 11:13

Dd2 was like this until very recently. She seems to be growing out of it now, she has just turned four.

There are some SEN suspected, but nothing serious and no dx yet. She is thought to be around 6 months behind her peers developmentally.

BooBooGlass · 28/05/2011 11:13

Please don't label your daughter with OCD. I am actually shocked that you are. She is being a normal 3 year old. She is not being difficult or OCD.

Original poster

sarahbeth2 · 28/05/2011 11:25

Oh for goodness sake, i am not labelling her just describing it loosely to get some info on this subject! She is a very challenging child in various aspects and i come on this site to gain knowledge and info of how to help her so please, less of these sort of posts. Plus i am about to give birth so i dont want any of this 'i am shocked you are' stuff, i didnt come on here to be judged!

I have chatted with hv lots of times about behaviour etc but they say i am doing all that i can but it is still very extreme. I guess thats what i am getting at, the ocd she has seems so extreme as do her reactions to it, screaming for well over half an hour, so angry, hitting etc as she gets so frustrated.
Whats the sen suspected?
Thanks

OP posts:

belgo · 28/05/2011 11:29

What do other family members/friends say?

If you really believe deep down that there is a problem (OCD or something else), keep an accurate diary of her behaviour and speak to your GP.

Original poster

sarahbeth2 · 28/05/2011 11:31

They agree with me, we have 7 kids in the family and my mum says how much hard work (and a pleasure) my daughter is for me...

OP posts:

Chundle · 28/05/2011 18:34

Hi Hun I don't think you are trying to label her just helping her. Yes all kids are a bit like that but not to the extreme that they tantrum for that long about it if interrupted. Go see your GP . X

Original poster

sarahbeth2 · 28/05/2011 20:17

Problem is the gp hasnt been of any use as of now so am on here trying to glean info off other mums to see what others do etc. I will keep a more accurate diary but no one seems to listen. Its like she has to do things this way and is so anxious and angry about them.

OP posts:

Original poster

sarahbeth2 · 29/05/2011 08:19

Going to send my husband to the doctors with her i think, she has a meltdown every morning and we just cant cope any more. She wont let me put the tv on until everything is just right. Its so stressful, she screams and screams if you happen to move or sit down and its not how she wants it to be she gets so upset.
This is not simply lining toys up or organising things in order. I just dont know what to do or what is going on. ;(

OP posts:

thebeansmum · 29/05/2011 15:31

My boys were like this at that age - they're 8 now. Nursery flagged it up as a worry and someone came in to 'observe' them at play one day (some type of developmental specialist, who was lovely) She said they absoultley HAD to have the blanket all straight before the teddy picnic, got very cross if they weren't sitting up correctly (the teddies) shouted at the other kids if they poured the tea 'wrong' bla bla. All totally accurate and a fair judgement.

She asked if either myself or DH were very organised people who like things just so - DH definatley fits that crieria, me not so much but I guess more so than the regular person. She encouraged messy play at home and for us to try really hard not to be fussy. It was hard (for DH!) to change but it really worked and they soon became a lot more relaxed.

This may not be your circumstances, but thought I'd let you have my experience. Good luck with new baby and your lovely toddler x

Original poster

sarahbeth2 · 29/05/2011 20:59

Thanks, we like a tidy house but are not overly fussy people so its hard to see its that. She had a bedtime routine but most kids do so its so hard to see whats happening. Sometimes though its an outsider that see these things though, just want the help really. Am def going to send husband to force the issue as with the new baby we will have a lot on and want to enjoy and relax with it ;)

OP posts:

gourd · 30/05/2011 09:31

I haven't got a child of this age yet but it does sound normal to me - i think young children just like the security of routines - it means they know what's coming next, particularly at bedtime when they may get anxious about being alone and routine makes them feel safe. Obviously some kids are more rigid in their routines than others. Perhaps you could introduce some spontaneity in a nice way during the day with "surprise" trips out or other treats? That might help her learn that sometimes it's OK and even fun to do things differently or in a different order. That said, maybe she just likes to do things a certain way (her way) and doesn't like anyone interfering with that - I remember being very annoyed if ANYONE moved my carefully arranged bedroom ornaments (ceramic pigs, cows etc) when I was 5.... All very normal.

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