should i be worried?sorry - very rambling.....

[allach]

My lively lovely dd is almost two. She has good language , loves children and anything that involves being outside - running climbing etc. But - she can't do peg puzzles and is not really bothered about building brick towers. My eldest did all that stuff really early.
DD 2 will try a peg puzzle but gets very frustrated if the pieces don't fit in straight away. If you hand her a few blocks and ask her to build a tower she will but usually gives up after three blocks.
The reason I am stressing about this is because I know that this is something they test for a two year check - something that has actually been cancelled around here but knowing that she should be doing these things and isn't is really worrying me, especially as a "friend" told me that this could be a sign of autism?
She -(dd2 - not the "friend")likes to play with dolls ,feeding them and putting them to bed and taking them for walks in her buggy - and she loves painting drawing and messy play - sand , water, etc. But she is more of a flitter than dd1 and does not have a very long concentration span.
Am I worrying needlessly? I am not a competetive mum so if it is ok not to be interested in certain things yet, I will just chill about it!

I think the fact that she is role playing is a good sign and that the other things are just not her atm. At least she tries and gradually she'll become more competent and persist longer. She may have a shorter attention span for sit- down activities but that could be perfectly normal ime.

I think you are worrying needlessly!! ds2 is not very good at peg puzzles and block towers. He has a short concentration span. His speech is a bit behind, but he's catching up fast.
ds1 did everything early and is good at everything. Please ignore your friend - your child is not autistic, just different to your older child

chill - sounds like she just isn't interested in that sort of thing .She is developing normally so it's nothing to worry about.

My son won't paint or draw,spends all his time playing with trains at the mo...boring!

BTW ds2 is 2 and ds1 is 3

thanks guys, you have made me feel better already.
I always used to talk about this kind of stuff to my mum but she died recently and I guess this is why I am getting more wound up than I usually would.

ha ha ha. Your friend is talking out of her arse- unless children get sociable with bricks. My severely autistic ds1 was quite capable of building a tower of bricks at 2- I would imagine it to be somehting that a lot of autistic children would like (like doing jigsaw puzzles upside down so they can't see the picture).

Your dd is doing the exact opposite of an autistic child. Role playing, painitng and messy play are completely off the agenda for many young autistic children. But puzzles and bricks would probably be about the only ties they would ike (other than watching lights, spinning things and flicking lightswitches). As 2 ds1 liked letters, numbers, counting things, spinning things and watching things.

sorry that ha ha was directed at your friend btw.

I'm always amazed by how many people seem to think they are experts on autism when they've never been within 50 yards of an autistic child (or if they have they've done little more than look horrified)!

oohhhhh I've just realised where you friend my have got her wires crossed. Charlotte Moore in her book 'George and Sam" describes how Sam wouldn't build a tower of bricks at his 2 year check and she said something like "he can do this, he just doesn't want to" and the HV (a remarkably switched on one by the sounds of it) said something like "the point is he should want to")

The comment wasn't on whether or not he could build a tower of bricks, it would have been on the fact that he wasn't interested in socialising with the HV. And not in a shy way in an indifferent way. It would have been the lack of sharing of attention that was being picked up, rather than anything to do with the activity itself.

Thanks baka -I seem to remember her telling me about reading a book - is it about a mum who has three boys and two have autism?
My friend likes to be seen as an expert on all medical matters though she has no training at all. I think maybe I need to get a new friend

Yep that it- Charlotte Moore - George and Sam. great book, ds1 is like Sam in many ways

She's completely missed the point that Charlotte Moore was making though. I'd take great delight in telling her that if I was you!

just to emphasise the pint wasn't that he should want to built a tower of bricks- the point was he should want to be interacting with the HV when she asked him to do something he could do. So it would be the equivalent of your dd ignoring someone who was playing with a doll and trying to actively engage her. (and it would be ignoring/blanking rather than hiding behind mummy or anything).

Agree with Baka. I have 2 boys with autism. They were doing the exact opposite to your dd at 2yrs. Both could build impossibly high towers that looked as though they should fall over at any moment. Ds2 does inset puzzles in seconds. Neither was in the least bit interested in other children. Ds1 couldn't talk at all and ds2 started speech therapy one month later.

Your friend is completely wrong.

said "friend" has just called to arrange a gettogether - will see her tomorrow and delight in setting her straight, baka.

Kick her ass (verbally) then get a new friend!

well ,I kicked my friend into touch - thanks mumsnetters for your helpful advice.
Unfortunately, she (the "FRIEND")has now sowed a seed of worry in my mind and I find myself watching dd2 for any other possible autistic traits. I must confess I know nothing about autism apart from some googling I have now done. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, I guess.
As I mentioned before dd2 does some imaginary play/role play feeding dolls , cuddling them , putting them to bed but it isn't really very elaborate. She also puts on her hat and picks up a bag and claims to be going to the shops to buy broccoli ..(if only she'd actually eat it as well )She also sits down and makes pretend food and feeds me/her .
DD2 is almost 2 now. I do remember dd1 having quite elaborate pretend play early on , giving voices to plastic"happyland" people and making her food resemble animals by squishing it around in her hands ( though sadly not eating it ... )
Is dd2 doing ok, or should she being doing more complicated role play now?
I really wish I had never listened to my ex-friend and started looking up things on the internet - I seem to have become a little neurotic....

She sounds just fine to me. My own DD (nearly two) is fairly elaborate in her role play, but most of her peers are not - I think different kids have different skills at different times! Grrr, that friend of yours....

xxC

thanks elibean !

They don't do 2 year old checks any more in our health board area. I thought they were stopping them everywhere.

sounds like a perfectly normal girl to me. Just enjoy her. If you keep looking for "problems" you may miss other areas in which she is doing really well. Also, because your older child is more advanced now, you may not be remembering exactly when she developed her elaborate rollplay (by the way any rollplay at 2 is fairly advanced, I know several 2yo who don't do any at all).

Sorry to hear about your mum

Your dd's role play sounds as though it's at the right level for her age.

To give you some comparison, ds1 (autistic) at his assessment at the hospital at 3.5yrs was given a plastic tea cup and asked to "Give teddy a drink." He promptly put the cup upside down on the teddy's head and wandered off. Ds2 can now, after being taught, play at tea-parties with toys. However, it is very repetitive. He will only use the same toys each time and will run through a 'script' each time. If I tried a pretend play game that mentioned going to the shops he would take it literally and get himself ready to go to the shops for real.

Grrrr at your 'friend' for worrying you in this way.