Support thread for speech and laguage delay toddlers...

[Orangeflower7]

Hi, I have a little boy of 2.5 and we have just today had our first speech and language referral appointment as he is not saying many words yet. I thought maybe other parents might be in the same position and would like to share experiences for support?

It took a few weeks for the appointment, which we were referred to by the health visitor. The therapist told us he has a moderate language delay and has given us ideas of some signs to use with him, she has advised us to keep language clear and simple and we will get a place at a toddler group run by speech and language therapists who will observe and support us. Not sure how long that will take as they only have 6 children in a group but there is an option we can go to the next town if necessary. He also had his hearing tested by the hospital audiologist last week and they said his hearing was fine.

Anyone got any ideas to help with potty training? DS is 3 in 4 weeks and paed, portage, HV just about everyone does keep going on about this... Despite many kids books, pretend play (teddy on potty), lots of 'oh look there's a poo in your nappy' and 'ooooh well done doing a wee wee' (that is during nappy free time in garden incidentally), we are getting no where. DS has zero interest. Hmm.

hi cjn27b,

when I "lived" on the special needs board, the overwhelming message on this topic was to concentrate on your child's communication skills - leave potty training unless it is clearly working.

If that doesn't influence you, would the fact that my neighbour is a consultant paediatrician and blithely sent her four-year-olds to nursery in pull-ups because "they weren't ready"? God knows it made me feel better

However, if you do feel he's ready, my only suggestion is to consider whether he is a better visual learner than aural. We succeeded in poos by cutting out pictures of DS2 sitting, pictures of the potty, etc.

Hi
I have a son 24 months 2 weeks. He was a late walker (22 months) and sees a physiotherapist because he had left side plagiocephaly. She is v pleased with his progress, but he has no words at all. He used to say a few words, apple, bath, ball, 'george' (peppa pig) but then a few months ago just stopped. He wasn't even babbling there for a while. Ive been referrred to a child development appointment next Wednesday and am very nervous as I am scared they are going to tell me there is something wrong with him. He is and will be my only child and just want him to talk :(

Hi Shona. DS is 2.2 and hasn't said one recognisable word yet. We have seen a speech therapist once so far. I think a lot of us on here will sympathise with your plight. It is very worrying, isn't it? Do you know with whom the child development appt is going to be? We've been trying to check out the "obvious" so far, like glue ear.

Thank you lingle. He's a month off being 3 and loads of boys with perfect communication seem to pass their 3rd birthday in nappies... Personally, I feel we put so much pressure on with communication issues that it isn't really fair to start going on about potty training all the time too. But, the various healthcare professionals do seem to love to nag about this one! Will go back to not worrying about it!

funny that they nag. communication is much more important. anything up to 4 is still "normal" (lovely word) for a boy I think.

I confess to having a potty-training urge as my boys each approached 3! It worked with DS1 (mild language delay) but DS2 (severe language delay) was nowhere near for another year.

hi ellaeleven, I had two boys with serious language delays, one resolved fully one 95% resolved.

What leapt out from your post is the flashcards. I recommend strongly that you buy the It Takes Two to Talk book and make it your new bible. This will show you alternative techniques that are more effective and help you adjust them to your child's communication level. Controlling your own techniques is much the easiest first step with late talkers.

Thanks so much Lingle. I am going to order the book now. Glad to hear your boys language delays are over. I was just wondering if they are at nursery or at school and if it affected their confidence or was their delay resolved before starting school?
Thanks again.

DS1 now 8 - fully resolved by school start at 4.9 (or maybe some quirks remained but not a problem). Things took off at about 2.6 onwards. Now near the top of the pecking order in most social situations and regarded as a leader and likely to excel.

DS2 now just 6 - his problems were instantly recognisable as those I'd seen in DS1 (so it must run in our family) but went deeper, with a difficulty in processing language that only faded from about 3.6 . It's only just resolved now so yes it has affected his confidence. It's left him with a legacy of social awkwardness which is why I'm still a mumsnetter - I need to chat about it all still! Luckily I was allowed to start him at school in reception at 5.0 (ie the September after his default year - he's August -born) which more or less took care of the problem so far. He's made a best friend of his own selection this year but still feels safest playing what he calls "silly" games together. He says that when children are nice to him he doesn't know how to be nice back - the fact that he can now explain this to me is wonderful though and we are getting there slowly.

Wow sounds like both boys are doing great Lingle. I had been worrying about my dd's confidence in social situations when she gets to school if this problem is still with us but your post is very reassuring. The fact that your youngest son can express himself like that is great and must be of great comfort to you after the difficulties he went though in his first years. it sounds like they have a wonderful hands-on mum too.
Many thanks again for your advice.

Hi Everyone
I have posted on this thread a few months ago but ive not been on here for ages.
DS is 15 months & has an undiagnosed genetic syndrome & severe GDD. He doesn't babble or laugh, he does sometimes try to tell me what he wants by crying & blows raspberries. I was just wondering anyone elses dc had not laughed at this age? I no theres alot of children on this thread who are very late talkers & just wondered if they were late at laughing aswell.

DD not a late laugher in fact vey early smiler and giggler and expresses herself in other ways but words are the problem. Able to sing incredibly tunefully just without words - so weird.

wobblypig -
my very first mumsnet thread was called "is my child's musicality hindering his speech development?".

DS1 sang twinkle twinkle little star like a choirboy at 18 months to "awa". People would hear it and adopt faces like an X-factor judge hamming it up (jaws dropping, etc). They couldn't quite believe it.
DS2 actually imitated the words better (though his problems eventually were more severe). For a long time he was hypermusical - I felt he lived in a musical world.

Is any of this sounding familiar?

DS gets upset if I either sing or read to him..... Difficult to fathom, that one.

(Apart from the fact that my singing is appalling. However, at age 2, why should he care?)

my kids both got upset if anyone other than me sang to them.....

Hi all, I have been away on holiday but am back now. My DS (now 2.3 and saying very few words) was quite good on holiday, not too many tantrums etc, although we were in a very hot place and his love of running fast and far whenever there is the opportunity was very tiring (not for him, for us having to chase him!). He did find unfamiliar textures of beach sand and concrete surfaces etc to be a bit worrying and did a lot of tiptoe walking, which of course worried me.

I did find myself feeling more and more worried about him while we were away, getting upset about the slow language progress, and thinking "when he is grown up and I am not here any more to look after him, will he ever get to have a seaside holiday like this etc??? Will he ever talk?". I am finding it difficult that we are working really hard on all the speech therapy/Two to Talk techniques and yet progress is so so slow. I can't count how many millions (literally millions I think) of times I have said words like boat, and all he says back is da. He still never initiates any talk, just responds when you say something to him that he can copy, like car or E-I-E-I-O (from Old Macdonald).

I was a bit more upset too by my sister-in-law's recent postings on her Facebook page. Her little boy is two months younger than mine (have not met him as they live in a different country), and she writes things like "Today .... said I lub you mama". My DS does not even say mama, and would not understand the idea of saying I love you, I find this hard to take (although he does grab me and climb onto me and cuddle up to me, which I suppose is his way of saying it) . I would so love to hear him say it though, and I get into thinking that I never will. (He does not say anyone else's name either, although he says dada a lot it can be in any context and in response to anything).

Re all the previous messages about potty training: this is something I have also really been feeling worried about. It does help to know that I am not alone in this. My DS is nowhere near ready, would not understand the concept at all. He does kind of pull on his nappy when it is very wet and obviously getting uncomfortable, but no way would he make any kind of signal before a wee, or say anything about a poo. Me and DH have just decoded "we won't go there yet", given that we are already feeling so stressed by the language issue.

I have decided I want to take him now to see a developmental paediatrician. I can go privately (have insurance). I have read on the special needs board about a few people who are supposed to be good, anyone had any experience of this yet?

Sorry about the long message, have been deprived of MN for two weeks!

Ok, we've finally given in and agreed to take DC to a paed consultant for her delayed speech.
Any idea what is likely to happen at the appointment? I have had a very tough time getting DH to agree to an afternoon off work to come with me.
I'll admit I am really wondering myself if it's worth it. We know our 3 yr old has speech delay, is already under a SALT and is due to start nursery in Sept.
What else is there to be done?

Dudesmummy, I really think you need to chill out. He's 2.3 yrs old. A baby in many ways still. He sounds well within the range of "normal" for his age.
How about taking the pressure off yourself and the little dude?

That's what my DH's approach is, he thinks I need to chill out too. I suppose I feel I don't want to miss anything I should be doing, and am aware that if he has more serious underlying developmental problems then an early start to any therapy is better.

He does have a few other worrying developmental factors apart from the language delay, which cause me to feel the way I do: some toe walking, does not point (although he takes my hand and makes ME point at things in a book!), no waving (in fact becomes hysterical when anyone says goodbye), quite hyperactive. It all just makes me very fearful, and that together with the treacle-slow speech progress upsets me. I know he could just be a late bloomer, but looking at books/sites where they discuss speech it appears he should have over 200 words by now, and be combining them. He has about four and does not even think of combining them.

On the other hand he has amazing motor skills, balance etc. And he is sweet, affectionate and very smily.

I WILL try to slow down on the negative thoughts, I promise.

I found that I could think and talk about "language delay" and remain chilled out.

But I was scared to look deeper for a long time.

I could offer advice at this point but I'd really only be advising my past self!

Lingle, how would you advise your past self?

LOL good question! will consider and answer after "funniest ever you've been framed".

LOL! Will log on later with interest. Enjoy "You've Been Framed!"

I would have looked at his deeper processing and sensory issues earlier. I was too scared that sensory issues were something to do with autism and autism sounded too scary (not surprising considering most of the horrible frightening literature) so I shied away from recognising them for a while.

So, for instance, I only realised he was a classic visual learner at 3.4. Then I got hold of the marvellous book by Linda Hodgdon on Visual Strategies - and his communicative language just took off pretty much as soon as I started using her techniques. But - and here's the thing - Hodgdon's book mentions autism (though I think only on the title page and in the intro - she isn't actually interested at all in pigeonholing kids) so for a long time I wouldn't look at books like that. It felt as though looking for help from techniques aimed at autistic kids was leading me into a "trap" where I'd have to "accept" he had autism.