Every night...

[clock]

my son of 23 months bangs, kicks and drums the cot with his feet legs and hands, constantly for 1 1/2 hours no matter how tired he is dayor night time sleeps. This has been going on for 3 months. His sister of 9 months will not sleep and crys because she is disturbed. Both the kids are very light sleepers.. They take after me.
What can i do to stop him banging.. Its hell.. No one is sleeping...

Was working but strangely missed ds terribly.
He is poorly and is really subdued and quiet, very unlike him. Took him to play school and he didnt want to go. He wanted to stay in the car, bless him.
Your party sounds fab, why dont you do it regularly until your play group is established if you enjoy it so much? You know, play dates every week with some of the kids who came today and the mums, just for coffee and a natter.
We do, we have regular play dates each week and they are great. Messy but great!
I feel far more relaxed when its at our house because ds seems better behaved in his own environment.
More often than not, the childs mothers bring cakes or bickies with them for the coffee...yum yum!!

Hiya. We are thinking about having a kids Xmas Party.
I use to do a weekly get to gether here. But mums starting wanting it held at here house. So in the end it was only at my house every 6 weeks. Other people did not have toddler friendly houses so i dropped out, plus i was the only one with two and it was hard work. It is easier here most people think so too as i keep furniture and toys to a minimal and have catches on everything. People now go to play groups mainly. But we do meet up in the houses that are safe.
I can't get the kids off to sleep this morning. Its driving me mad. If they miss their slot they tend not to eat very well all day and are just a nightmare. Think i am going to have a hard day today.

Are they sleeping yet?
It does bugger up your day if they dont do what they are supposed to do doesnt it.
Well, ds is at playschool, he is all red eyed and still poorly.
Ive been up for 3 nights with him now from 1am till 5.30am and im absolutely wrecked. AND ive got to work a night shift tonight, cant go to bed tomorow as have got no one to have ds so......wont now get to bed till tomorow night.
Its making me feel sick just the thought of it.
Full of a cold, i think i will take some cold capsuals before work, the ones with caffiene in them. They will give me a boost.
Im sure he is coming to the end of this now so things should have settled down by weekend.
What a moaning old miserable bag i am. Not good company this week at all im afraid.
Got a joke for you.....
How many mums does it take to change a lightbulb?

Its ok, i'll just sit here in the dark!

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

1, he just stands there with it in the air and hopes the world will revolve around him!

Clock, you live off the same junction as me - near Frimley park hospital. I have two boys, as I said 3 yrs (next month!) and 18 months. Sounds great about the group your starting at the weekends, anymore info on that would be appreciated, I get sick of going to indoor play areas (little angels, wizzy world etc)!

Oh donbean, i feel really bad for you. I had the sleepness nights 3 weeks ago.
But you still have to go to work as well. You diserve a medle.

My week has gone pretty well, but my day has gone really s..t. Kids not slept at all this morning. Got dd down this afternoon. Something i never do because she wont sleep tonught. ds wrecking joint all day.
Just had a phone call from my friend who still sees the antenatal group i use to go to. she has dd of 9 moths as i do and dd of 3. Rest of them have their other kids in school. Very big age gaps between their kids. I dropped out because they did not have child friendly houses and because they always wanted to do expensive things where i would have to pay for 2 kids.etc. They did not really ever think about me with two kids. Most of them quite nice individually though. They keep still moaning that i do not go to there meet ups even though i have told them about 5 times, why. They talk over me and njust keep saying 'well you can make an effort'. even though i have 2 MINUTES EARLIER EXPLAINED WHY I CANT AND WANT TO DO DIFFERENT THINGS . They never help with my son when we are out, Some of them i find bitchy too. It has really got me down again. I have moved on from them. I wish they would just leave me alone to do what is suitable for my situation with me my son and daughter. I have so many great playgroups and friends who completly know what its like and help me, i could do with out it. I hate all this why cant they leave me alone.

Sorry sickandtired i am not ignoring you i just had my dd on my lap and wanted to write the below message as i am sooooooooooo p'd off.......
What a coinsidence. Se you never know who you are talking to. You could have been my next door neighbour. That would have been frightening for me though........
I moved to Fleet a year ago. its great. Plans are still in about the weekend thing though. I have just fround that the venue i had in mind has a cr park which is used for five aside football all day. So looking at other angle.

had a shit pm today too. DS 1 kicked of in camberleytown centre, his 1st full wobbly, and boy oh boy did he put on a performance. How I enjoyed the scathing looks for old crabs as I stood to one side letting him go for it. Iguess they would have prefered seeing me give him a "good hiding" - and believe you me I was sorely tempted but thats just not my way, and the same people that think I should have donethat (the ones muttering about the situation) would have been the 1st down the local nick getting me done for asault!

DS1 has now gone to bed, and got up 3 times since - I'm at the end of my tether today. I look at everyone with just the one child and think "why did I think it was a good idea to have two!" - even though I don't wish ds2 away

So, i am now officially an unfit bitch of a mother who doesnt deserve to have a child, after a full week of shouting matches with ds i dont feel like i can go on much longer. Im loosing a grip on what it is to be a mother and am feeling distant and uninterested in ds.
He is completely disobediant and ignores me, his destructiveness has increased and he hasnt slept for more than an hour at night now for a week and a half.
I feed him, i play with him, dress him and do all that but have never felt like this about him ever.
Think i need help, think happy pills are on the agenda.

Just had REALY long talk with dh about it all. (had a couple of glasses of alcohol first)
Feel much much better and like we are both singing from the same song sheet.
Feel like he does listen and notice stuff.
We decided that ds is making the transition from bieng a toddler to bieng a little boy. We need to accept this and move with him.
How he has been in the past isnt how he is always going to be. He was fairly cooperative and responsive to simple instruction. Simply because he was going from bieng a baby to a toddler. He is at a new phase now in his little life.
At aged 2 he doesnt know how to deliberately bug me, he just knows what actions provoke what responses.
Therefore its my behaviour and reactions that need to be adjusted and re evaluated.
He bit me on the shoulder tonight and has almost taken a HUGE chunk of skin it hurt so bad i cried. He covered his face then cried himself.
He understands when im sad, he understands upset.

I dont shout at him to humiliate or upset him, i shout because i am frustrated and just want him to stop whatever it is he is doing that is unnaceptable.
I am told that these are phases and will pass. This i know to be true because i can think of stuff he was doing aged one which were hard to deal with, things that he no longer does.
So in time, things will get better and we will move on to the next phase in the proceedings.

He is my precious little boy, who i adore. I must try harder and keep it all in perspective but most of all, i need to speak to DH more often because i feel like the world has been lifted off my shoulders tonight.

Forgive me as i am mostly just thinking out loud and chunnering.
Hope all is ok with you clock.

Donbean, i know where you are at. I too was saying for weeks that i was uninterested in my ds. ( think i used more harsh words than that though to my dp). You don't mean it, but you have know where else to turn, you have tried everything recommended etc. The behavour just keeps getting you depressed. I had not drunk in 3 years until ds started this episode in his life then every night through this period i sat down with a large glass. My ds seems to be fine though now and have started to enjoy him again. But it took a very long time.

If feel for you i really do.

On sunday we have to start him on a new diet as he has so many intolerences to food. This means his behavour will be just as before. Dp has taken 2 weeks off to try and help with support. But i must admit he is not very good in that department and i know it will be me doing everything as always.

So i too will need plenty of shoulders to cry on.

Keep well. I hope you get some sleep this weekend though. x

I am sorry you are both having a hard time, my dd can be very difficult in different ways so I do understand. I look back to when I was a single parent and wonder how I coped as lately I have no patience with her.

I have been seeing a homeopath lately to help with a few issues and he said to me that he is yet to meet a mother who feels as if she is 100% coping and he finds feelings of depression, exhaustion and general crapness to be a running theme.

I am sending my dd to her dads every weekend at the moment so I can spend my weekend trying to bukld enough energy to do it all again the following week. I don't think I could do it 7 days at the moment.

Donbean if there is anuthing I can do, even if it were just to make you cups of coffee while our kids work out the pecking order ( he may suceed in bringing my little madam down a few pegs or two!) just let me know.

I totally understand where you are both coming from. dd2 is a night mare. She doesn't have many problems with social skills but sleep is a big issue. I have been up 1.5hrs with her now and am starting to lose it big time. She is so strong willed and will not accept no for an answer. The naughty step has nearly worn away.

Thanks for the replies, thanks twinset, its nice to speak to you again x

Had a lie in till 8.30 and feel much better today. On a night shift tonight again but am able to go to bed till lunch time tomorow so not so bad.

After last night i am making a special effort to be calmer with ds and his behaviour magically is less acute. Will see how things go.
On day shifts next week so far easier to see sense when back in the land of the living!

What plans do you have next week clock? Is it same old same old?

Tegan, why do you think that your dd doesnt sleep? Did she eventually go back down last night?

She went back to sleep at 4.30 and was up at 6.30 but she did get in my bed and go back off for another hour. Not sure what her problem is with sleep at the moment but she is being a terror to get to bed and wakes at 3am. The other night she was up for 3 hours before going back off for another hour.

up again. Have been since 1.45am this is doing my head in. dh has lost it big time and gone out for a drive

Oh Tegan, im sorry about that hun. Really really feel for you.
Did your night improve? How was your hubby when he got back?
How old is your dd2 and did you have similar problems with your LO1?
I suppose that you have tried CC etc have you?
I do feel for you because my ds has been like that pretty much from birth although for some reason, he sleeps through the night for DH when im on nights.

Hi Donbean. Absolutley crap few days. Started ds1 10 food diet today to find once and for all what intolerences he has. Been speaking to the allergist all wee. Then he told me to speak to the dietician, she completely contradicted what the allergist told me. She had no idea of anything. I knew more than she did. Anyway started it today and yes it was a night mare. He through his food at me all day and the walls and floor. Screamed and started his tantrums again. Just as i thought. The allergisst says it will get al lot worst too over the next 5 days. Dp is now too at home for 2 weeks, but has just popped out for some chips. He also has no ideas. It is always me who instigates of carries everyone. All he is doing is sitting in the background. I have told him he needs to support me otherwise he may as well go back to work. (a bit harsh but its me who keeps everything/one going i just need help for thee next few days as i will not be able to cope on my own). Lets see what tomorrow brings...
I missed rocket man last week on bbc1 8pm. so i want to watch it tonight so will have to go now. Glad to see and hear you are rested and am feeling better.

God my spelling is really bad. I must check my messages before i post in future

db- things got progressively worse. DD2 began throwing up and had the runs until 4.30am then I got her back to bed and dd1 gets up stands next to my bed and throws up all over the floor so dh and i had no sleep from 1.45 onwards. dh was only gone for 20 mins then when he came home he was wonderful and did all the cleaning up so I could look after girls. We all went to bed at 1.30pm until 4pm so I feel slightly better for that.

Oh God Tegan...vom city! Tummy bugs are the pits. Its the smell of dried vomit on carpet that is unsavoury isnt it.
Hope tonight brings you some well deserved rest x If not, we are always here to offer sympathy and understanding.

Cheers. I am lucky in the fact that I have wood floors and no carpets. Last night was fine both were in bed by 8 and not up til 6.30 which is do-able Kept the eldest home today from school as she needs to get some energy back.

I have an anouncment!
After much discussion with the HV it has been officially confirmed that ds is a perfectly normal and healthy 2 year old!
I have invested in a book called "when your kids push your buttons..and what you can do about it" By Bonnie harris.
I shall let you know if its any good or not.
Phew...feel a bit more relieved about that as i was thinking along the lines of special needs.
How are you all doing, clock, hows things?