Every night...

[clock]

my son of 23 months bangs, kicks and drums the cot with his feet legs and hands, constantly for 1 1/2 hours no matter how tired he is dayor night time sleeps. This has been going on for 3 months. His sister of 9 months will not sleep and crys because she is disturbed. Both the kids are very light sleepers.. They take after me.
What can i do to stop him banging.. Its hell.. No one is sleeping...

i agree with every thing you have said in your mail. Even the last paragraph. I also think i may be depressed because i do not have help with the two children only for say 2 hours a week and then i have to have the other one. Even at night time, hence why i am very keen on affordable childcare. Do you have any other type of help?

I work and the MIL has ds for 3 hours one afternoon a week while i go to work.(i work 2 days a week, 20hrs)
Other than that no, no one offers.
Play school 2 mornings, thats 2.5 hours so i do actually do ok for time away from him.
My big problem is that we waited for so long to get ds.
I was 33 when i had him, had 2 M/C prior to having him and so he is a special and much longed after little boy. SO GUILT GUILT GUILT!
Why am i bieng so ungrateful and not cherishing every minuit with him....because its bloody hard work and i am only human...thats why!
Dont you agree?
I think that you can cope with anything to a degree when you have had sleep cant you.
I know that you have said that you get no break whatso ever from yours, but with your Dp's shifts, is he able to take over from you at all?

Only for the 2 - 4 hours per week. On one child. I too was 33 when the 1st was born and had miscarriage. We so wish we had started 5 years previous so we could have had a bigger age gap and it would have been easier on me. Didn't want to be too old to appreciate them. We have parents in their 70s and 80s. They can not do anything with them and they do not drive and live 30 miles away...

My eyes are closing again. I will reply to your next mail tomorrow evening.
Thanks again for the huge shoulders.

how nice to see people actually admitting that kids are bloody hard work and its human to feel like youve had enough. i'm fed up of seeing adverts with fantastic looking mums with cute cuddly babies that smile all the time.trading standards or whoever it is should shoot the person who made them.
good on you

my friend's DAUGHTER sounds exactly like your boys. there are four of us that go around together, all with girls, and they're all a bit naughty, being around 2yrs, but the oldest does most of the things you describe. had them all over to play a few days ago, and three of us mums could not take our eyes off the other one's girl, just in case she did something to one of our angels! not that it helps you, but thought you might like to know there is a female version!

Thanks for that input girls,its refreshing to hear some thing positive from people.

I bet clock that during those 2~4 hours that your dp has the one child that you are doing stuff like washing/cleaning/cooking/tidying up aren't you?

Been a very very bad day today, ive posted about it in desperation and sat in tears while doing it.
I feel much better though because DH has come home and he too has found ds to be very trying. Been on the naughty step 3 times and shouted at almost constantly.
DH turned to me and asked if ds has had any colourings or additives in his food today because he is that manic.
Good to know its not just me and that a normally serene and patient dh is pushed today too.
How has your day been?

Yes thats right my 2-4 hours is literally runing everywhere. Doing everything i never get the chance to do. When i had one i thought i could not fit anything in, but my god was i blind. It is not like double hard it is like 8 times hard.

Hello
My day actually has been really not bad considering what i have put the kids through. I cancelled all playgroups this morning and went to ikea. Set off at 8.15 am it took me 1/2 to get 1 mile. Then the M3 was mahem to the M25 (2 hours). Then the A roads were crap until hanger lane which is always busy but today no one about and i sailed the rest of the journey. I got my ! item. a Nygard Buffet cabinet with doors on so i can lock all the kids toys away. Just finished putting it together and it looks great. It was now all worth it. The kids only played up for an hour. It must have been a miricle. But ther is always tomorrow.

I feel really bad because i have to go to bed early again as i was up at 3.30 am this morning with them. So will write again tomorrow.

Isn't it great how we have some readers and that they are also sharing their experiences on the little horros. But my day for a change went ok, but there is always tomorrow. Fire works have just gone off. Great. Never really realised how damn annoying they are til i had children as the constant bangs, hissing and whirring wake them. Does any one know where i can buy some baby ear muffs. Or could someone make them and send them to me. I'll give you £100.

Night! night!

Sounds like my life donbean and clock, but I have two ds's (one nearly 3 and one 19mnths) and they are both like this, I feel like I am constantly shouting and I wonder if my posh neighbours will call SS on me sometimes with all the yelling!

Ds 2 is worse, he too looks at you with knowing eyes while doing something he KNOWS is naughty.

This week I cut out the day time nap for both of them, its been v v v v v hard, especially as I am also trying to keep them up later (they ussually go to bed at 6ish), until at least 7pm, but last night there was a break through - they slept through till 6.30 am - not a peep - And I feel human at last!

Know what you mean about fireworks, I have a school directly behind my house so wating for the boys to be kept awake by their shitty fireworks tom orrow night after all my hard work

cant be long dd is grizzling but i saw a programme the other day where the child constantly banged his head on the floor when he was having a tantrum (even if it was concerete or wood etc) so the expert bought him a big beanbag whenever he had a tantrum he went on the bean bag (or was put there) it did work, he also used to bang himself on the cot so they padded it. they lay him in the cot (which he usually screamed to get out of) and put their hand stroking his head until he lay there quietly eventually they moved their hand away gradually getting furthur away from him.......hth and that things improve you are saints to put up with this behaviour

lovemegirls. Good for you to join us,I did all that but he would try to find something else like the wall or edge of furniture or concrete when we were out. or head dive off of furniture. I had it for 3 months and i could not be by his side the whole time. It better know appart from the running up to walls and crashing into them. What will be the next behaviour problem. AAARRGGHHH!!!!!

Dont appologise for going to bed at 9.30pm clock, i was already in bed by the time you posted! Was up at 2.30, didnt get back into bed to sleep till 5.30. up at 7 AND got to go to work in an hour.
Very irritable again with ds today. He was banging a spoon against the tv screen as hard as he could, i thought i was going to explode. The kicking of the head bourd has started again with more vigour.
Im fed up, very miserable and looking forward to going to work just for a break from the shouting and anxiety.

Glad to see more people have joined us, you see, we are not the only ones.
Give us all the gory details please, we want to hear them all and then comiserate with each other.

Donbean. I wish we lived close by each other. I honestly would help you when you needed a break because we know whats going on, and hope you would me too. I am so sorry that you are having a really bad week. My arms are wrapped around you hugging you. Because if you feel as low as i have the past god knows how many months, you need it. xx

My week has gone pretty well considering. But now it is the weekend with no play groups and the kids will be climbing the walls.

I am sure i will have plenty to write about tomorrow. Hope you are well Donbean..

Ah clock, you make me .
I do wish we lived near each other, i think we would be good friends.
Well, moaned the MILs ear off about ds's recent antics and she was very sympathetic. My parting words to her were "good luck", When i got home from work, i asked dh how DS had been with MIL and his actual words were........"ANGEL"!!!!!
Fuck fuck fuckety fuck.
SOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo, he is now for sale on ebay.

So, do you dread weekends then clock? Is it just you and the kids? It must be a ball ache as well at this time of year because you cant even get out to a park or for a long wander can you.
having said that i dont know how you manage with 2, is your dd older than ds then?

Also, if you dont mind me asking where are you?
I may not be able to post now till Monday as im at work tomorow, dont want you to think ive abandoned you hun.

I'm in Hampshire.
My ds1 is 2 on Monday.
My dd2 is 9 months.
Kids do play up for the main carer, i have noticed it all the time when visiting friends and i have left the room and maybe come back about 10-20 mins later.
I absolutely hate weekends, have done ever since having children. Because dp always works them, there are no play groups on etc and everything else is either too expensive of crowded or couples. Thats why i am in the process of starting a baby and toddler group on sat & sun mornings. It is being confirmed next week, really excited about it. I have been wanting to do it for 2 years but it has taken all that time to find a hall that has the space and availability. Then i hope to progress into bigger things when kids are at preschool/school. I think that this may be the 1st one down south. Not sure. But at least the kids can have somewhere to go.

Last weekend we finally finished the garden, its taken about 6 months to do. The end of the garden now has a play pit area. We dug a huge hole 4 ft down and by 20ft x 10ft square. We put some steps leading down and barked int all and thats where our ds loves to play on his slide see saw etc. So i tend to put him in the garden.

Hope your weekend goes well. My fingers are crossed for you.

Fantastic! Oh that sounds really great, i bet it will be really succesful AND i bet it will open your eyes to the number of other parents needing to get out at weekends!
God you are brilliant! No where to go at weekend SO, make your own place! What guts you have got.
I would never have the confidence to do something like that.
The play pit sounds good too, what a life saver, that will pay back dividends for years ahead plus you can adapt it to thier ages as they get older you could put other things in it couldnt you. Stick wellies on your ds and i expect he is happy as any thing out there.
Is Hampshire Kent way? Im not good at geography, is it a bit posh?

I live on the border within Hampshire the next county is middlesex/surrey. On the M3 junction 4a. It is a bit posh but i am far from posh. I do like things done nicely in the house. As this is where i spend most of my time. I am sure you do to. It is a better house than where we moved from Staines/Ahford Middlesex.(M25) Wehre are you then..

Im about 2 small towns from Blackpool.
We have all the glitz and glamour of Blackpool 10mins away but we are quite rural and out of the way.
We have renovated the house over a 3 year period from the brickwork up and we have built an extension ourselves.Its lovely now BUT it is wrecked because of ds and that breaks my heart. Chunks out of the walls, scratches along the walls, our furniture is bashed and battered. Wood floors flooded in the bathroom and kitchen.
The list goes on.
Cant wait for this phase to end.
Having a nice night with my next door neighbour tonight, a chinees takaway and chickflick. DH has taken ds to the MIL's for fireworks and food so i am all alone, free as a bird!
Luckily i have some fantastic friends who are supportive and are nearly always around for us.

You mentioned friends with kids and a 7am friend, sounds like you have a nice little network around you but who are unable to help practically. Is this fair to say?
This is the same for me, i like to keep a distance some what for fear of them never wanting to see us again due to ds's evil streak!
The good thing about friends like these, is that your kids will always be surrounded by children and will grow up with them.
The bad thing is of course that you tend to compare your kids to thiers and that can be very depressing cant it.
Right, i will check in on Monday, keep your chin up, eat chocolate and remember...i think that you are a STAR and i know i dont know you from Adam but i like you, you are my kind of friend.

The feeling is mutual.
I have never had many girl friends til i moved to this are. I found them to be not very open and honest bit sly and bitchy. I always had men friends as you could tell them straight. I tend to warm to girls like that and have made quite a few thankfully. It is funny but there is a girl in the froup with all the qualities of the above and more and she keeps getting affended that i never ring her. Now she has a bee in her bonnet and is spreading rumours. Thats why i did not like her in the 1st place. You can tell them a mile away.
I'll wait to hear if anyone on mumsnet argues this point with me. Oh the joys.
Have a nice evening and speak soon. x

PS. Your house sounds fabulous. Thats the kind of thing i was wanting. Partner not keen so we bought a 1060's house. But beleive me under the new paint work they had recently done was a can of worms. It would have been cheaper to buy an old barn and convert. We hate this house now. But we cannot move as it cost so much in repairs etc. Hope your girly night went well. Isn't it lovely now how the mornings are lighter. I love it. Cant stand the dark.

1960's

How was your dreaded weekend then clock?

Dreadful,long, boring, uninteresting, wet, cold and i was misserable.

But my son's birthday party today was fantastic. Weather was great. 15 2 year olds arrived at 9.30 along with there mums. We played in the house for 1 hour. I made chicken breast nuggets and diced chips. and bruscheta and coffee for the mums.
Then we opened his presents. They then put their wellies on and went out into the garden. Everyone had a great time.

I swumped after everyone went home i i wanted it to goon vor ever. I love organising things like this. It is the only thing that i feel i am pretty good at(i love giving to others but am not so good at receiving). But then every one goes home and i am on my own again.

Oh my freinds partner work at the local fire station so i took him for a visit to see his first fire engine.

How about you.....