Every night...

[clock]

my son of 23 months bangs, kicks and drums the cot with his feet legs and hands, constantly for 1 1/2 hours no matter how tired he is dayor night time sleeps. This has been going on for 3 months. His sister of 9 months will not sleep and crys because she is disturbed. Both the kids are very light sleepers.. They take after me.
What can i do to stop him banging.. Its hell.. No one is sleeping...

Move him into a bed....runs for cover as clock throws something heavy in my direction......

i have thought of that idea many times but he will not stay in a bed. How do you keep them in the bed. I will put a stairgate on the door though. He is very hyper most times..

I only suggest it because my ds used to do the very same thing so i understand where you are coming from.
I had to do a version of pick up put down.
I dont have a stair gate on his room although many mums on here recomend it.
I wait for him to come out of his room, and lead him back,,over and over again.
Now he doesnt come out of his room until 3/4 am and as soon as i get out of bed he turns himself and gets back in.
It has taken ages to do this and understandably this would be a complete arse for you with 2 little ones to think of.
Its the only thing i can think of though.
Im sure that some one will have a good suggestion for you on here soon.
I do sympathise with you, i used to think my head would explode if he banged one more time.

Thanks for your suggestion. I too am aware of this tactic but i thought it was later when they are older than two. So yet another 3 months of sleepless night for me then.
Just want to rant on a little here.
I have two children, when any one asks how my kids are i always say the same thing. My girl is brilliant but my boy is always the naughty one. His naughtlyness started around 8 months. He was very allert from birth. I just feel that he is always going to cause me trouble. I heard it was tough having boys but no-way did i ever think it would be this tough. He has actually put me off of having more children. I did want three but i am so scared of having another boy. God i know i will be slated by other readers for this. But he is really really hard work all the time. Even a new mum at toddler group said to me yesterday, my god is he always like this. My reply was Yes

OH God stitch..are you me!
Me too!
We want another baby but my boy is horrendous,
come on, lets swap horror stories. I bet that i can beat you hands down in the behaviour stakes AND make you feel that you have an angel in comparrison!

NOT Stitch..sorry,meant clock

I could do with a listerning friend tonight. Thanks.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Where to start, He is 2y 3m and is baby Osama bin laden....pure evil with blonde hair and blue eyes.
Can get out of:
shopping trolleys
push chair
bed
car seat

Throws contents of shopping trolley at innocent old ladies minding thier own buisness.

every single piece of furniture in my house is damaged or broken

he has flooded both the kitchen floor and the bathroom floor many times

He has NEVER slept through the night since birth

He enjoys emptying the contents of his cups all over the place while looking me directly in the eye

He scraps with any child he comes into contact with

I cannot control him when we are out, he runs off/escapes from his pram

I had to stop going any where with him for about 4 months, he was so bad. I am now venturing out with him for short periods of time

He is in play school 2 mornings a week now and ia m expecting a phone call from them to say come and get him, we cant cope.

Now you......

As soon as my ds was born every onew said wasn't he laid back and quite. He would follow you around the room from 2 days old and so up to 4 months he just observed everything. 5 1/2 months he was sitting unaided. 6 months crawling. 11 months walking. He was obsessed with drawers, doors and cupboards from 10 onths. Creches use to say that he they did not let him play with these items he would scream the whole time he was with them. I left him at 8 different creches and each time they rang me to come and get him. When i was with him and until he was 18 months old he would scream the house down if he could not see me. He stopped eating all the lovely organic food i cooked at 9 months and would only eat bread. He is still only eating bread. He is now being seen by an allergist dietician, hv etc to find out what his allergy is. He does not speak so he is frustrated all day. He screamsa all day from 6am to 7pm and he has no words. Every phase of what toddlers generally go through, ie biting, head banging, tantrum etc had always lasted months. Where my freidns boys have only lasted a few weeks. We are now at the stage of him running to brick walls and him bouncing off them. Also jumping and jumping and landing cross legged. He is going to break his legs. He has no fear at all eith.

And that is just a breif guide to what its been like. I could go on all night.

I do hope your storey is not as terrifying....

Sorry was typing mine. DS has also done your following points of
1,2,4,5,6,8

Sounds very similar to my ds developmentally.
Walking at 11m months etc but he does talk.
My friends ds doesnt speak yet and he is also 2y 3m so there is time yet.
It is so good having some one to compare, my friend and i do it all the time and our storys are very similar to yours actually.
I think that you are absolutely right when you say that its a "boy thing".
She has a 5year old girl and her boy and she is adamant that her daughter is good and her son is a little horror.
My ds, like yours seems to be so extreme in his toddler phases and like you they seem to last such a long time.
Because he is my one and only and of course ive never done this parenting lark before i dont know what is normal and what isnt. Im reassured by every one that it is perfectly normal though.
I am worried that no one will be inviting us out any more, i get so stressed by it all.
I have posted quite a few times on here for advice on his behaviour TBH.
How do you keep your cool?

Sorry for the delay i had to eat my dinner.
I don't keep my cool. I have a friend that i ring every morning at 7am. She listerns, but she does not have any boys. I only know 5 friend with boys. I know 33 people with just girls. The parents of the boys do not have the same problems as me. They are much milder, last for a shorter time or they do not do the things that my ds does. I cry about 4 times a week. I want to give up about 4 times a day. I love him so much but i can not sustain my sanity. I have both kids 24 hrs on my own. Partner works every day shift work and overtime for extra money as he is on low pay. Our parents are in their 70's so they can not help. Our borthers have never had chidlren and live too far away. All our friends have kids. Cant afford any child care. We have tried to put him in private prescool as they take them from 2, and is cheaper that nursery but he failed his assessment last month. He is being reassed this month. I want to go to evening classes but i can't because of my partners shift pattern. Everythign is against me. I have threatened to leave many times. Its hard enough with the kids let alone managing my partners shift (theres another battle).

Sounds dreadful.
You sound like you feel like you are alone in this, like a single parent even.
A good friend to sound off to helps a bit, at least you have a friendly ear there.
Also with the health visitor taking notice of you and organising allergy advice, you have some support there.
Can i ask what is involved in the assessment test that you refer to?( for the pre school)

The pre-school is in an old manor house. 2 years old are upstairs in a room. 2years 9 months are in a different room upstairs, over 3's are downs stairs. What a cock up there!!
But anyway. He was assessed on how he climbed the stair and back down again in case of a fire. Then assessed on his ability of understanding what someone is saying to him. His interaction with the teacher. His walking. and gerneral behavoiur at other times. He passed all the above. But then the teacher said lets look around the rest of the school so that i knew what it was like. That was the worst thing you could have done for my ds. We went into all the other rooms where there were older toys and craft. Ds would not leave the other rooms and started throwing his really bad tantrums. of throwing him self on the floor screaming kicking pushing biting head banging. He would not get up. If he does not want to do something there is nothing you can do. He just digs his heals in and you can not control him. I have had this behavoiur now for about a year. I never know when it is coming. He goes from a nice sweat looking boy to a devil that not many see. They just here about it and do not belive it.

Yes i am a single parent. Last week i found a group that was like a crises group. But because of the kids sleep time i can only stay for 30 mins. So i can not really talk to their concilor to get help.

But clock, that is exsactly what my boy would do!
If he went into a room full of stuff, all new and exciting he would refuse to leave also and would kick up an almighty stink!
It is natural curiosity, he wants to explore and he is 23 months, doesnt understand that no he isnt allowed to stay and touch stuff....its like taking you into a gorgeous restaunt hungry then telling you that no, you cant eat any thing...you would be proper pissed off wouldnt you!
Sounds like he is ready for more than you can offer him to feed a very bright little mind.
IMHO i think that it was the fault of the school who stupidly dangled a carrot then ripped it away from him.
So, for this next assessment, you will be fore warned and for armed and can go in and be able to avaoid the same situation.
I bet that once he is settled, he will come on leaps and bounds AND so will you.
You will be able to regain your own peaceful thoughts, grab back some breathing space and be able to think with clarity.
You may even be able to enjoy your boy with some space between you.
This is true of me and my boy. We both needed space from each other.
He only started in September but OMG those 2.5 hours are bliss!
Hun, things can only get better, and will as he gets older and learns other ways to communicate.
Can you see ANY light at all?

i have always known that time plays a big part. But how come he is the only boy that screams at all 8 of his play groups each week. Other mums go up to their little boys and say no do not touch that or come on we have to go etc and they walk away holding their mothers hand. Why is it that mine never wants to play with the tolys just the fire extinguisher and the locks on the doors. I want to give him all these wounderful new adventures like taking him to a farm to see the animals. Go walking through town etc. But i can't, but so many can. I suppose it has been like this for so long for me i just keep thinking when.
(time is always a goood healer) but when....

You have really helped tonight its just that the morning is only 7 hours away until it starts again.

RIGHT...now i KNOW that the two of them are in contact with each other, planning out torture for the two of us!
OMG, what is it about fire extinguishers/plug sockets/door handles/locks/ electrical appliances.
We went to a superb birthday party when ds was 23 months and i spent the whole hour (that was all i could take) dragging him kicking and screaming from behind the bouncy castle...he was adamant that he wanted to mess with the bloody electrics.....
I dare not take him to other peoples houses, i am a complete wreck when we have to go any where.
I am adamant that he is normal, adamant. He is a curious, bright enquisitive enquiring little chap, plain and simple.

NEVER EVER does he happily take my hand and leave some where, NEVER EVER does he take "no" for an answer. and who ever teaches him to say "but why" will be wearing a fire extinguisher i can tell you.

Im going to have to go to bed now as ive been up since 5am this morning and feel like death and as you quite rightly say, it all starts again in 7 hours.
I will always be happy to natter to a fellow toddler ravaged mum, especially one who understands how hard it is.
Keep your chin up, we will talk again soon.

You are like music to my ears.
If only we were neighbours.
Thank you so much.
PS i am always up at 4.30am arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Maybe we should start a club.......

And you to mine!
5.30 start here this morning.
Play school,he cried his eyes out and chased after me leading a nursery nurse to throw her clip bourd up in the air and rugby tackle him to the ground. The look of terror on his face was awful. I rang up and he had settled nicely, so ive visited a friend and her new baby.(and well behaved 2 year old!)
He has now discovered that if he pulls with all the force he can muster on the drawers with child catches, they will give and open. SO i ahve been groping around the kitchen floor trying to close each drawer as he forces them open.....sigh.

Hiya again, It was 4.30 agai for me. I have tried every catch recomended. Then i did my own search and found these. Actually cant remember what they are called let me go to the garage and try and find a packet.

They are made by safety 1st and they are called cabinet and drawer locks. They do loads many different ones but these ones are quite hard to get hold of. They allow the drawer or cabinet to be opened about 2 inches then they lock into place. The normal ones still allow you to open and shut thus getting their fingers caught. My son spent a year try to get through these ones and has given up. But you still have to be careful as he now tries to break them by doing a running jump to shut the drawer. 18 months on he still has not suceeded. I think i got them on ebay. If you have any probs getting them let me know...

My ds was screaming and crying over silly little things all day from 5.30am to just a few minutes ago. Has not eaten either. My dd then became grumbly herself and she started and by 4pm i had had enough so i put them to bed. So that means they will wake tomorrow at 4.30 again.

I have been trying to get to ikea now for weeks to get one item. I am just going to say to hell with it tomorrow and go. They will have to do their screaming their. I will try to put my ds in their creche (never been done before). I wonder if they take 2 year olds...

hm, you are brave!
One of the main reasons i havent put ds into play school or the like is because i didnt think that any one could cope with him.
I also feel very very guilty for leaving him with any one to put up with him. I feel bad for them!
I dont know what it is but they are brilliant with him, and he has settled down well with them.
Every time i ask they say he is absolutely fine.
I didnt believe them at first, i thought that they were just saying that to get rid of me, but its true. I know that they would ring me if there was a problem because they have rung another mum whos little girl was too much of a handful and ended up upset twice.
She still goes and they are good with her too.
I am convinced that when you find some where that your ds fits into, he will come on well.
Also i have to say that those 3/4 months from bieng pre 2 to bieng over 2 are amazing in terms of development and understanding.
I honestly thought that ds at 23 months was no where near ready to go any where without me, when he began play school at 2y 2 months he was calmer and seemed to understand instruction better.
Unfortunately he is going through that clingy thing that kids usually do when they are babies, he never did that, he is like a limpet at the mo. Dont think ive even had a poo alone and in peace for about a month! TMI i know but thats how bad it is.
Im going on a bit now im sorry.
Its good to know im not alone with this though.
I have considered that maybe there is some thing wrong with my boy, and thought about going to the DRS about him, but no, as i said, he is just normal, bieng a normal toddler.
To be totally honest with you, i do believe that the problem lies squarely with me and my ability to cope when so bloody chronically deprived of sleep and room to breath.
I think that i may even be a bit depressed.
What do you think about this from your perspective?