I think there should be a bloody support group for parents of 3 year olds

[Limelight]

It's like DS woke up a couple of months ago as a completely different person.

'Trying' incidents today:

1. Complete refusal to even consider wearing any clothes. I mean, would genuinely have been very happy if I'd agreed to send him to pre-school in the buff.

2. Running out into the road.

3. Massive screaming kicking throwing things level tantrum because I'd dared suggest we go out with his friends to a club he normally loves. Because the children are naughty and it's all soggy. Apparently. Needless to say we didn't go because by the time he'd calmed down it was too late. So he had another massive tantrum because he couldn't go.

4. Massive sulk because a kid he didn't know decided to play on the wrong slide. Apparently.

5. Complete refusal to eat the dinner he helped me make because it had (completely imaginary) green bits in it. I wouldn't mind except it's normally one of his favourites.

Now admittedly he's very recently had chicken pox and is still a little irritable but when I think about it, he's been like this for a few months. I also have a 10wo DD which isn't helping. He loves her but is not hugely happy with DH and I for changing his life.

Totally exhausted. Going for a bath and a lie down.

Urgh, feel dreadful in more ways than one, now...

Have very bad tonsillitis, feeling utterly rubbish, DS picking up his chair and repeatedly slamming it down onto the wooden floors. Told him 3 times to stop, and third time told him if he did it again, TV would be going off. Did it again, turned TV off, cue screaming and upending his little plastic table he was sat at.

Tried so hard to talk over the screaming shouting and yelling to explain that I warned him and he didn't listen so there were consequences. More stropping and throwing ensued, and (feel SO ashamed) i just got right up in his face and screamed at him - shouting that I would not tolerate violence and tantrums in my house (this is while giving the full apearance of having a tantrum all of my own, btw).

He was quie upset and shocked, but he shut up. He's fine now, dragging his blanket around the living room in circles pretending it's a train, but I feel awful for being so harsh.

How is it that they are like sharks - they smell blood in the water and the go in for the kill. It's like he can smell my weakness (because I'm sick) and is behaving even worse. I can barely cope when I'm at full strength and he's at a "normal" level of sod-ness, but he really ups his game when he knows I'm not 100%.

Just want to cry. Why do ANY of us do this to ourselves?? Were we not happy going out with friends/DP's whenever we wanted, drinking and smoking our way through a responsibility free life??

THANK YOU - IT is such a relief to realise I am not alone!!!! I logged on in desperation but feel that maybe I am parent to a pretty normal 3-year old. Lovely/ gorgeous about 97% of the time, ghastly the remainder and I panic that I am simply an awful parent.

There was a comedian who once described having young children as being like someone constantly tapping on your forehead - like torture I guess! I always think if this when DD having one of those non stop questions/ I'll do it myself/ mega tantrum days.

Shodan - sympathise totally with the repetitive questioning. Ours goes something like this.

In car going to swimming pool:
DD - Are we going swimming?
Me - Yes, we are.
DD - Are we going swimming?
Me - Yes, we are.
DD - Are we going swimming?
Me - Yes, yes, yes. I have just told you that.
30 second break.....
DD - Mummy?
Me - Yes darling?
DD - Where are we going?

Sanity is over-rated.

Repetetive questioning. I hear you.

I hear you, I say.

Did I tell you we get that too?

We get that all the time.

Are you reading this?

Oh yes - and we also get the telling me everything 5 times (at least) as well.

DS is also going through a stage of getting stroppy because his sticks can't all come inside. And they might get wet.

Hollyoaks - hvae PMd you :)

Nowaynohow - please forgive yourself immediately - you are not superwoman, none of us are! You aren't well, your DS was pushing you beyond reasonable (even for a 3yo) limits - you had to do something extreme. And I have done similar, I'm sure lots of us have. And if they haven't yet, they probably will.

Nowaynohow - I totally sympathise and have also beaten myself up when I have shouted at DS for something. It's horrible, but they forget it and I think it's really important to say sorry, hug, explain why you shouted, then move on. We've all done it, and 3 year olds are so difficult as this thread highlights.

My DS is largely non-verbal but the one word he favours more than any other is 'home'. It is said when at home, when away from home, when on the way home and when going out. It drives me crazy and must be his equivalent of the never ending repetitive question!

Thanks to earlier advice from Bumperlicioso, CrispyTheCrisp and Simpson re toilet training - day 2 and we're doing OK. A few accidents and I've not let him go away from home just in pants yet, but he's sitting on the loo and doing wees and poos so that's a result in my eyes! It does require constant reminding though but hopefully he'll start to remind me soon!

Ah, thanks guys, you've made me feel like less of a monster!

You're right, though, they do forget it. Thankfully, because it's half term, his nursery has space for him to do a full day session today rather than just a morning, so will be able to literally lie down, take incredibly strong painkillers, and just rest with the knowledge that I don't have to fetch him at one and fight against all odds to be vertical and looking after him.

Massive relief, as I feel like death warmed up.

He also woke 4 times last night before getting up at 6am. Don't know why he did that, but it was like having a newborn again!

Tantrum this morning was because he asked for some cereal in his Thomas the Tank Engine bowl, which I gave to him. When he got it he went "menkle" because he wanted Weetabix. Sigh.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for this thread! I feared I was the only parent with an AngelicDevil child ... now I realise I'm not alone.
DS is 4 next month, and most of the time is happy, carefree and lovely, BUT .... when he goes, he goes with style.

Just the other day we went out for a very nice lunch and on leaving the restaurant he said he wanted to go out a particular door and turn left out the door. Well the door he wanted to go out was locked, so we couldn't go out through it, so went out a different door and turned left. 100yds down the road, cue DS wailing, shouting, screaming and pulling me to go the other way because we'd gone the wrong way. When I told him that wasn't the way to get home, he sat on the pavement screaming and refused to move until I picked him up and carried/dragged him back home. 30 minutes later, he's back to being my little angel!!
I'm sure this wasn't the gig I signed up for!!!!

Ah, the "wrong way home" - yes, DS has started that one too. Not just walking, but in the car as well.

Same here with the directions! They know best don't you know :)

DD had a tantrum this morning because dh was carrying the baby downstairs and not her, despite him telling her he would run straight back up and get her.

Thumb - thanks for the pm, I'e pm'd you back :)

NoWayNoHow - been there and done that, usually in the morning panic to get her clothes on when we're all typically running late for pre-school/work/childcare. Take a deep breath and walk away, once your blood pressure has returned to normal try again. They don't remember it and no harm's done.

DD3 freaks out every time she see's a bug/fly "Aggghhh it's going to get meeeeee

I've lost my rag at Ds a few times, it's awful. It is hard to deal when you are ill and tired, I had awful MS first half of this pgcy and DS really played up so much. It is such a relief to see everyone else's DCs do the same thing as mine!

Ginabraz- at least you found your two at the front door.

I came in from the back garden the other day, having missed ds2 for 3 minutes (although I wasn't worried, house was secure, ds1 was in as well), calling his name, when all of a sudden there was a knock on the door and a male voice shouting 'It's ok, he's all right'. I opened the door to discover ds2 looking very pleased with himself accompanied by a Dad and his teenage daughter. Apparently they found ds2 'in the middle of the road'.

He'd opened the sitting room window, climbed through the bush, and was taking himself to nursery school!

Wuss that I am, I phoned DH and blubbed on the phone to him.

And now ds2 is waking every couple of hours and has decided that 5 a.m is the optimum time to get up.

I swear to God, they find new ways to torture us every day...

Ladies, you've made me cry with laughter with the tales of your DCs. My DD is 3.4 and is wonderful one minute and then has the most unbelievable tantrums the next. Most recently, she had a massive tantrum because I made us both lunch and she didn't want lunch yet. I said she didn't have to eat it but she was in full screaming tantrum (and she's loud). After 20 mins I shut myself in the kitchen to take a few deep breaths and count to ten, meanwhile DD was in the hall screaming 'mummy no' over and over again and our neighbour (we live in a terraced house and I'm sure they get to hear the tantrums) chose this point to drop round with an amazon delivery which had been left with them because we were out. Now I may be being paranoid, but I'm convinced she chose then to drop the parcel off to reassure herself I wasn't torturing DD.

On a more light-hearted note, DD recently threw a tantrum in the co-op because she wanted me to buy her some ham. I gave in and bought it for her, much to the amusement of the woman on the till who said that 'most children throw tantrums about sweets'. We then went round to see one of her friends but she refused to play any games and sat there clutching her packet of ham, come tea time she refused to eat the meal her friend's mum had made and insisted on having her ham!

Can I join? My dd got so bad that I asked my mum if she thought I should take her to the GP, because such extreme behaviour had to stem from some kind of horrendous medical condition.

A close friend assured me not.

Now, dd is four next month. Am I home and dry?

My grandma always used to say that the even years were easy and the odd years were hell!!! So far ds1 is 6 ( and becoming my lovely littel boy again!) and ds2 is 3 and a wee bit challenging!! I hope nan is right and all changes when he hits 4!!

And my personal favourite, 'Why does x do y?'

'I have no idea, dd.'

'Yes you do, why?'
'I don't know.'
'YOU DO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Ad finitum.

Hi all, nursery update - DS had quite a good day there yesterday (THANK FUCK!!!), only had one meltdown but apparently recovered from it just fine and was back to his sweet smiling self soon. They were playing outside when I came to get him and he ran toward me with the biggest smile and look happy .

Lets' hope it continues to get better from here. Please please please....

Had a good day today, took DS to Locomotion in Shildon (part of the National Rail Museum) took train there and back and he was very well behaved, did dawdle a bit when we walked back to the station but still got there with 10 mins to spare.
Did have a mini tantrum at home ], I'd bought him an engine and he wanted carriages to go with it and didn't have any! And then I took the washing upstairs to put away and came downstairs to find him putting little dents into the wall on the stairs So he got told off for that!
Then when I was cooking tea, started demanding a snack. I refused and he threatened not to eat his tea!
He ate his tea though so I feel like I won a minor victory

Pink we get that but in another form;

"mummy what is that"
"it's a helicopter"
"a helicopter?"
"yes"
"it's a blue one"
"yes it is"
"now you say what it is mummy"
"but you know what it is"
"you just talk to me" (in other words say TELL ME MUMMY)

He does this with things he knows all the time

Can I just so that it DOES get better!

DD2 is 3.7 and so much easier than she used to be, although she still has her moments. And DD1 has just turned 5 - piece of cake.

While waiting for DD2 to get over it, this thread is great!

Not read on a few days, but LOVING the term threenanger. That sums it up perfectly!

DS has been pulling out the ol 'Mummy..'

Oh and walking to town today after about 10-15 mins of 'It to hot! It a nice day. It to hot!...' DS randomly looks down and starts laughing. He had noticed I had sandels on and he thought my sockless feet were hilarious.