I think there should be a bloody support group for parents of 3 year olds

[Limelight]

It's like DS woke up a couple of months ago as a completely different person.

'Trying' incidents today:

1. Complete refusal to even consider wearing any clothes. I mean, would genuinely have been very happy if I'd agreed to send him to pre-school in the buff.

2. Running out into the road.

3. Massive screaming kicking throwing things level tantrum because I'd dared suggest we go out with his friends to a club he normally loves. Because the children are naughty and it's all soggy. Apparently. Needless to say we didn't go because by the time he'd calmed down it was too late. So he had another massive tantrum because he couldn't go.

4. Massive sulk because a kid he didn't know decided to play on the wrong slide. Apparently.

5. Complete refusal to eat the dinner he helped me make because it had (completely imaginary) green bits in it. I wouldn't mind except it's normally one of his favourites.

Now admittedly he's very recently had chicken pox and is still a little irritable but when I think about it, he's been like this for a few months. I also have a 10wo DD which isn't helping. He loves her but is not hugely happy with DH and I for changing his life.

Totally exhausted. Going for a bath and a lie down.

Actually I got my best threenager-management tip from somebody caring for a relative with late-stage Alzheimer's that works on three-year-olds, which is blithely go along with whatever random nuttiness is being spouted.

Re the rocket example, I will tell her with deep regret that the farm does indeed have rockets, but unfortunately they are all in space at the moment and we will have to come back another day when they have landed back on Earth, and then the nice farmers will let her go in one.

I have ZERO compunction about lying to my kids.

Oh how have I missed this thread?!
I have a part-time threenager - I swear the day after he turned 3, he came out with "but Mummy, it's not fair" - I thought I'd another 10y to go before I heard that!!

DS is mostly ok but we are having more strops and tantrums about the silliest stuff. This morning, he didn't want to go to football because he's too little to do the big kicks and it's all wobbly. Complete rubbish! He got there and within 5 mins was having his usual whale of a time. (this is the boy who 4w ago refused to stay away from football, despite having both his big toenails ripped by a door going over them). It's like he has to just be seen to be being difficult - but if I'd caved and given in, there would have been WW3 because he'd missed it!

And oh so often things I tell him are wrong, and I am Bad Mummy, things are Not A Good Idea...

Thank goodness he's still lovely a lot of the time :)

I told him a lie this morning as well - I told him if he kept sucking his thumb, it would disappear and he wouldn't have any thumb left - he immediately pulled it out of his mouth and stared at it in shock, then said "ok, no more thumb in morning time". Didn't last though :(

I think the government should cross-reference the birth records and send you a package of 365 Valium the day your child turns three.

Am absolutely in agreement with you there, ninedragons.

lol ninedragons!
And perhaps it would be a good idea to publicise the threenager stage as much as the "terrible twos" - I have to say, I found the twos much easier than the current state of play!

I can't tell you the joy it has brought to my life to read this thread. I genuinely thought I was the only one!

Yesterday's screaming, wailing tantrum was because the wrong "Fireman Sam" came on the TV (the wrong one can be either the new CGI one or the old plasticine one, depending on the day). I tried to explain that I wasn't programming controller for Cartoonito, but it fell on deaf ears.

I've got to say, the biggest strife for me is the complete ignoring that goes on. He just roundly refuses to acknowledge that I'm even speaking. Drives me to the brink of lunacy.

I need to join this thread! My gorgeous happy 2yo dd has turned into a schizophrenic threenager!

Nothing seems to be good enough and I feel like I'm living on a knife's edge with her. She has to be the winner down the stairs, she has to put her own clothes on but lies in a crumpled heap on the floor if we're running late. Says she doesn't want to help with the washing but has a melt down if I do it, has to get in the car by herself, has to get out of the bath first etc......

It also seems to take three requests before she does as she's told and she's now started testing us by hitting us, though that's rare as she goes straight on the naughty spot for 3 mins.

My 3yo likes being in timeout!! I can't win!

We had a mini tantrum because I needed to sweep the block paving in the back garden (we had been putting loads of plants in at the back so it was strewn with bits of compost and soil improver) and HE wanted to do it.
I need to get him his own brush.

Then he threw another tantrum when he was helping DH wash the car because DH was using the brush to scrub his alloys and DS wanted it. The sponge wasn't good enough, apparently

Ok, we have the tantrums. That's one thing.

But what about the repetitive questioning?

Like:

Ds2 (3.5) Are we going to the hairdressing shop?

Me : Yes we are.

Ds2 : Are we going to the hairdressing shop?

Me : Yes, we're going to the hairdressing shop. To get you a haircut.

Ds2 : Are we going to the hairdressing shop?

Me : Yes, we are. I just told you that.

Ds2 : Are we going to the hairdressing shop?

Me : YES! YES! WE'RE GOING TO THE HAIRDRESSING SHOP! I TOLD YOU THAT! DON'T ASK ANY MORE!

Ds2 : Ok.

Ds2 : Mummy? Are we going to the hairdressing shop?

I have a permanent twitch, I tell you.

Shodan - I completely feel your pain.

Looks like I've found my MN home :)

Dd is 3.1 and this morning decided to post the house and car keys through the letter box from the inside. Wouldn't have been bad except the door was and dh had taken the back door key to work.

Cue me climbing through and jumping out of the bedroom window at 7:30am.

I retrieve the keys and come back in to find that she's filled the washing machine drawer with carpet shampoo and a disintegrated washing tablet.

And breathe.....

Yes the repetitive questions are sooooo annoying!

"who built our house?"
"the builders did, DS"
Repeat above 5 times.
"Look DS STOP asking me! I have already told you the BUILDERS BUILT OUR HOUSE?"

Where do I sign up?

DD is 2.10 and suffers from most of the already mentioned plus an unhealthy obsession with pink.
It is impossible to get her to wear anything other than pink.
Jeans are luckily still acceptable but only if all pink options are in the wash which I have to prove to her by showing her the laundry basket.
I lied about the unavailability of pink trousers once and she never forgets. That showed me.

I am not a very girly dresser, no pink or pastels in my wardrobe. I don't know where she got this from?!

Personally I blame the pink pig.

Why do people perpetuate the 'terrible twos' myth when three is so much worse?
DD is 3.1. I've had such an easy ride with her - placid, really happy natured, almost reasonable, but good lord being three has changed her!

'menkle' is just right, mrsdevere. Yesterday I told her off for dribbling into her cup, then twenty minutes later found her dragging Girldog (Rottweiler, weighing about 8 stone) to the naughty step because she had been slobbering a bit.

Lunch time today. 'What would you like for lunch?'
'Cheese and crackers'
Cheese was returned to me in disgust because 'It is too cheesy!'

Life's never dull.

Argh! the repetition! Guantanamo's interrogation unit should be staffed by three-year-olds - they break everyone, eventually.

DH collected DD from daycare the other day. It is in a high-rise building and the lift is fairly slow. All the way down, DD was recounting a little squabble the kids had been having.

"John said girls have willies. Genevieve and I said NO they don't! John said YES they do! Genevieve and I said NO they don't! John said YES they do! Genevieve and I said NO they don't! John said YES they do! Genevieve and I said NO they don't! John said YES they do! Genevieve and I said NO they don't! John said YES they do!.............. all the way from the 14th floor down to the ground.

DH said the other man in the lift was shaking with laughter. Probably just been diagnosed as infertile, and he was suddenly seeing the upside.

Does anybody's 3yo say they feel ill all the time. DD constantly feels sick, to the point where I no longer believe her unless she feels hot or actually throws up. I'm sure it's an attention thing since dd2 was born but it's draining.

DS likes to help with baking. He especially likes to whisk the eggs. So - he has a little whisk and he holds the bowl - he stirs them about 3 times and says:
"is that all done now?"
No, you need to beat them more.
"is that better?"
no, more, just keep beating them.
"is that better, mummy?" EVERY 10 SECONDS. Until I crack and take it off him.

He doesn't do the repetitive questioning so much as repetitive observation -
"it's a green beetle"
Yes, I can see it
"no you didn't see it it's a green beetle"
Yes, look I see it there
"no mummy you missed it, that's not the one, it's the green one, the green beetle"
Argh!
God forbid I try not to acknowledge him.

Have you seen Black Books at all? The one where Manny and Bernard go to housesit for a friend who has a fine collection of wines? He also has a neck massager and Bernard is steadfastly ignoring Manny, who does a very good impression of a 3yo, going "Bernard, look - look Bernard, look, Bernard, look, look Bernard" for about 3 minutes constantly.

That's what DS is like.

Hollyoaks - Ds went through a phase of having a sore tummy every day when he woke up - but that was before he was 3 and not long after having viral lymphadenitis or something, so he might well have had a sore tummy.

But - he has now developed an issue where he "can't breathe, mummy" - and starts to hyperventilate. He actually can breathe fine, he isn't asthmatic, there's no wheezing but he has had troubles holding his breath since he was a tiny baby and it's getting worse now - so he says he can't breathe, he hyperventilates so that he actually can't breathe, and then he panics more and so it gets worse. I've taken him to the GP and had his bloods checked - he seems to be fine, possible slight infection that he's now taking antibiotics for to clear up, but nothing obvious - so I think it's mostly psychological. Or I did until this evening when he told me he couldn't breathe before having his teeth cleaned (standard, every evening) except this one was worse and then he threw up everywhere! Lots! poor little boy.

So - don't know - your DD might actually be feeling sick.

thumbwitch - your poor ds :( DD's ''sickness'' did begin after a tummy bug which ran on and on before christmas so she was probably used to feeling sick. However, she seems to time it before food atm and goes all floppy and says 'need you mammy'.

Tricky to know, isn't it? DS stopped with the sore tummy of his own accord - so I guess maybe it did hurt, but then it might just have been bowel cramps in the morning too, who knows?
Sounds a bit like your DD got used to the attention and likes it but again, who knows? Does she react to any particular food stuffs? Only asking because I spent an inordinate amount of my lifetime feeling nauseous, but usually after eating, not before - and it turned out to be a reaction to certain foods. Now I don't eat them, I almost never feel nauseous - hurrah!

Well, its funny you should say that. I have IBS and often feel nauseous after eating though I can't pin point what foods do it, however I was wondering whether dd1 was similar to me, but it seems to be before breakfast most often though after eating it she's fine. I also never had a problem as a child. I think its more an attention thing, but there's always that doubt.

Phew, it's not just my DS!

The most worrying trait is the over confidence with the road. Limelight's second point is 'running onto the road' - my DS 3.5yrs has just started this and it is terrifying. He has no fear.

I found him and DS (2yrs) with their head poking out from the front door onto the main road. They escaped from our top floor flat (DH didn't notice) and when questioned DS3 said they were going to catch a bus. They haven't done this again as they have never seen me so mad

Oh, I absolutely LOVE this thread. Was reading something on AIBU the other night where various people seemed to be saying that their children never tried to bite / hit / kick / be rude / scream for hours and have been hanging my head in shame about my poor parenting skills.
Mine will be 4 in June and can sometimes be absolutely lovely. However, just at the moment, she seems to want a battle of wills at least once a day. Like others, goes from nothing to screaming, kicking, lying on floor tantrum in about 10 seconds. About nothing. Yesterday's was because DH was taking her to the toilet and she wanted me to. Said I would if she asked me nicely. No, she wanted to lie on the beach and scream.
But perhaps we are not abnormally atrocious parents - we just have a three-nager!