I think there should be a bloody support group for parents of 3 year olds

[Limelight]

It's like DS woke up a couple of months ago as a completely different person.

'Trying' incidents today:

1. Complete refusal to even consider wearing any clothes. I mean, would genuinely have been very happy if I'd agreed to send him to pre-school in the buff.

2. Running out into the road.

3. Massive screaming kicking throwing things level tantrum because I'd dared suggest we go out with his friends to a club he normally loves. Because the children are naughty and it's all soggy. Apparently. Needless to say we didn't go because by the time he'd calmed down it was too late. So he had another massive tantrum because he couldn't go.

4. Massive sulk because a kid he didn't know decided to play on the wrong slide. Apparently.

5. Complete refusal to eat the dinner he helped me make because it had (completely imaginary) green bits in it. I wouldn't mind except it's normally one of his favourites.

Now admittedly he's very recently had chicken pox and is still a little irritable but when I think about it, he's been like this for a few months. I also have a 10wo DD which isn't helping. He loves her but is not hugely happy with DH and I for changing his life.

Totally exhausted. Going for a bath and a lie down.

DD thinks being able to wear bare legs is great. Every morning, 'I wear my legs today, mummy?'

She has days of just utter loveliness and days of horror. I dropped off this thread because I have flu (recovering now).

DH was able to stay home to help me, but if I went to sleep upstairs, DD just screamed. As a compromise, I lay on the sofa with a duvet. It worked pretty well except for periods screaming in my ear, 'DO SOMETHING'. When she was asked not to scream at me, she sat on my head. Sigh.

She's going to be a right one as a teenager. I can see it coming very clearly.

This is all so reassuring!!

latrucha - I don't want to build your hopes up anyway but I have been told that if they're vile as toddlers then they are usually ok as teens, and vice versa - so you might be all right!

Ah at last a thread for me to quietly scream on where folk understand why I want to keep asking why DS (3.5) is such a total bossyboots whinging PITA!

Yesterday at nursery he made another child cry because he was hitting them on the head. Much telling off, both by nursery and by me when I picked him up. No idea why. He's usually an angel for them.

More usual is he won't do as he's asked at all. Ever, unless a large edible or Octonaut-shaped bribe is in the offering. How on earth do you get them to just do as you have just asked, first time and without a tantrum?

It seems like everytime I say no, he screams YES! and vice versa. And then starts throwing toys if he can't get his own way. I am probably guilty of a bit of spoiling (too many new books recently) but he's going to find they vanish again if he doesn't learn to behave at least a bit better. So it's great to read your posts so I know what's normal at this age!

(had no idea about children before I had one, no close rellies with any, etc so we are still a bit blind as to what is actually normal at this age)

OK examples of DS's behaviour

Tantrum in car because a lorry/motorbike/digger has not driven the direction he wants them to

Screams because I have not gone home a funny way (ie I've not gone down a side road to avoid the jam over the M25)

Screams because he wants Daddy to not get in the car so he can catch his train, then screams when Daddy gets out at station because he wants him to stay.

Changes his mind constantly over food. Wants beans and mash, I cook it then it's wrong wrong wrong and he wants fish fingers NOW.

Bedtime... argh. Always been a bedtime refusenik, but now it's worse. Then he won't get up in the morning. I'M NOT TIRED! and charging up and down the landing at 8.30pm is wearing... we have bolts on the very tops of the other bedrooms so he can't get in. He can only go to the bathroom but I am seriously worried he's going to try and climb over the stairgate.

Can't let him see pudding before main course or I might as well put the main straight in the bin. He'll even raid the fridge for yogurts if I'm not watching!

And the complete absence of manners that were there a year ago! Please seems to have gone west, ditto thankyou and he orders me about like a sergeant major. Given Grandad was one, we pay no attention until we get asked nicely and usually get yet more tantrumming because we won't just do as he wants. Mini Napoleon anyone?

thumbwitch I seriously hope you're right... perhaps it's because if they're terrible at 2-5, ie boundary-setting stage, and we impose firm ones because we're desperate good parents, then they don't have so many problems later?

moonbells are you sure we don't have timeshare on the same boy??

NoWay perhaps we do - I get screams it's the wrong Thomas/Bob the Builder depending on whether it's CGI or not, so I can relate to the Fireman Sam complaint!

And the cloth ears! Argh! Think I need a . Want one?

Yes please to the ! My day started today with a tantrum at 6am because it wasn't "getting up time" and he wasn't allowed to go downstairs. When a day STARTS like that, how is it supposed to get better??

Thankfully, he's in nursery full time this week as I have tonsillitis and would never in a million years have coped, as he massively ups his game whenever I'm ill!

Oh since the clocks changed he's been insisting it's NOT morning or it's NOT time to go to bed. The latter because of the light levels. Wretched summer time...

Here's a and have a to dunk in it too, shame there's no emoticon for a strepsil to pass over first!

DS pulled a new one this morning. I'm hoping it was a one off:
DS:Can we go to the train now? (friend visiting, meeting them off the train)
me:No, not yet.
DS:Is it yet now?
me:no not yet
DS:Is it yet now?
me:No not yet
DS:Yet now?
me:no not yet
DS:Yet NOW?
me:not yet
DS:YET NOW???
me:NO!!
No breaks in between. None. It went on for 5 minutes solid, I swear.
Apart from that, he's not been too bad today...

Love this thread! It may have actually saved me from totally losing the plot. I have a 3.3 year old and everything on here sounds so familiar.

My favourite example from this week is yesterday's bizarre behaviour in the doctor's surgery whilst waiting for his sister to get her jabs. He picked up two disposable vomit bowls and whilst wearing one at a jaunty angle as a hat , proceeded to run around the (very busy) waiting room burping into the other one (he didn't know they were vomit bowls although god knows what made him want to burp into it!)

As if this wasn't embarrassing enough he then bombarded the poor nurse with "Can I have a lolipop? "
"Can I have a lolipop?"
. . .about eight million times, whilst she was trying to inject his sister! As I was leaving she said, "Tomorrow will be a better day."

Well, it bloody isn't - I am too tired to even start on today's series of events!

So glad I am not alone and thank god for pre school!

Hi - great reassurance here. Dd2 is 3.3 and has been tantrumming most of the morning because a)she didn't want to wear anything apart from the green dress she has been wearing for 2 days and is now in the wash; 2)her dolly's crown wouldn't fit her and 3)dh had the audacity to go to work.

She came out with a corker last night. (Crying)"Emma (dd1) has ruined my life." Why's that then? "She messed up my hair"!!!

I found it got better with dd1 when she hit 4, now at 5 and a half she's lovely. So I try to laugh off dd2's behaviour, in between hitting my head very hard against a wall.

Oh, thank you for this thread

My DS is 3.5 and I thought it was just me.

Mind you, this morning, after I had coped with yet another tantrum, he said to me "Mummy, I really love you, and I will still love you even when you are an adult" (genius).

My DS (3.9) just does not listen! If I tell him to stop doing something he has to do it once more. The other week he was hitting a child at nursery because they wouldn't play with him.

His most recent one was getting quite irate whilst telling me frogs are pointless because 'we don't get anything off them' e.g. milk, meat etc

I also want him to stop saying stupid! it could be alot worse I suppose but I am always a 'stupid lady'

Ladies,

I regret to inform you and your lovely children that DD has now the offical world record holder for the number of times you can say no between getting up time and nursery.

Yours can all relax now.

LaTrucha.

(I mean, probably not but jesus freaking christ)

latrucha :o

So glad this thread is still going! Reading some of the posts reminds me of dd going (usually while I am driving) "mummy what's that?" "I can't see I am driving" "that thing that I'm pointing at" or "what's that smell" "what smell" "that thing that I can smell"

Can't fault her logic really! Despite her v annoying habits though dd1 is a fantastic big sister to dd2, "when she cries dd1 sings to her or plays with her, when I am ignoring them both she tells me if dd2 has slouched down, or is chewing on something she shouldn't be. She could be a lot easier harder to be fair.

DS was ok (mostly) this morning, apart from nearly making Daddy miss his train because he insisted on walking all round the car before getting in, and since it was parked by a grass bank, he had to walk all the way up the bank and then down again. But he got stuck, but I couldn't lift him down because he wanted to do it all himself. sigh

I am also toast if the skybox recording falls over like it did yesterday, as there's an old 50's film on today with dinosaurs in it, which he is desperate to see and which I made the mistake of mentioning! Mysterious Island - saw it when I was a kid and was scared of the dinosaurs! I said to DS that I thought it was scary and got told, 'But Mummy you were a GIRL'.

(I hasten to add that I shall be doing some judicious editing of said dinosaurs!)

LOL at Moonbells' DS. Hope he enjoys is dinosaur movie!

DS went to the hospital for his pre op assessment, he is having a minor op on Tuesday to unblock a tear duct. He was remarkably well behaved and for that he got rewarded with a soft play session. And he let us leave without a fuss!!

He kept having loads of mini tantrums, yesterday. He kept swiping at my face like he is going to slap me with this horrid experession on his face Wouldn't stop when I asked him to and so I kept pushing him away and putting him in time out. Then he was doing it to his Dad when he got home!

In swimming pool today, DD had large float which she put on the side while she went to swim to the steps. Girl about 10yrs came in and picked up float not realising it was DDs. DD frowned (pre-cursur to copious tears) so I gave her my float which was identical. DD frowned harder, 'want my float; that's not mine'. Then had to explain to the 10yr old why I wanted to swop my float with her identical one. Luckily she did though looked at me as though I was completely mad. Gave DD identical original float. DD smiled. Tantrum averted. 10yr old and friends gave us a wide berth from then on.....

Been following all the threads re 3 year olds behviour. I have a 3.1 dd and for the last few months has been randomly screaming at (sometimes at the top of her voice) and hitting other children, for no apparent reason. It happens at nursery, in shops, round friends houses.

Nothing i do seems to have an affect, we've tried 'punishments' and 'rewards' but it's like she can't help herself. Generally her behviour is good. Any ideas?!

Ahhh this thread is very welcome and may i add screamingly funny! Its a tonic to hear of other 3year olds antics:) I have twin 3 year old girls so yes i have double this 'issue' at the moment...! I find some days are heaven with them, they are so funny, then other days are as hard work as when they were newborns, and that WAS hard.. Loved Bumperlicisiocomments re what they ask when driving..ha ha ha ha!!! I just told my two that i would make them soup later as we all have a cold...'Why mummy'? Well so we can all eat it 'why?' because its nice to eat when we are ill'why?'....and so on!

Feel very assured this is all very normal, was beginning to think i had turned into a monster parent - get sick of my own voice some days!!! They go to nursery in two weeks, i am slightly ashamed but i cant wait!!!!!:)

All so familiar. DS, who's 3.5 is having at least one tantrum a day now. He kicked off this morning because DH took his (night time) nappy off so he could go to the toilet. He screamed 'I wanted to take my nappy off in the toilet room' on and on. We tried ignoring him and then I lost it. Grabbed the completely full nappy out of the bin, stuck it back on him, shoved him in the 'toilet room', screaming back, 'go on, take it off the bloody toilet room then!'

DH, generally calmer than me (especially now I'm 16 wks pg), tried to 'reason' with him again, then took him up to his bedroom and told him not to come down till he was ready to say sorry. He's now calmed down but it's like the flip of a switch.

I would agree that three is definitely more terrible than two!