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Original poster

22 month old with speech delay

92 replies

theDudesmummy · 27/03/2011 13:29

Hi, I don't know what I am looking for really, maybe just a bit of moral support. My beautiful 22 month old DS does not talk (at all) and I recently took him to a private SALT, who did not make any specific diagnosis yet, but is sending me a "programme" to work with him to help him. She did say, after going through a questionnaire with me, that he had "gaps" in his development.

After doing some internet reseach I am beginning to get really really worried sick, mainly because he does not point, which appears to be real problem from what I read. I have tried over and over again to get him to point, at things in books, in the street, etc, it is ending up with him frustrated and crying and me upset and angry. I spend hours repeating simple words, over and over, reading him simple books and pointing things out, over and over and over again. In the bath I play with his boats and say boat boat boat probably five hundred times, every night for several months now. When we get in the car I say car car car as we drive, over and over, sometimes for an hour or more. He just does not seem to understand what it is about at all. He has not said one word. I am getting so upset my all this I am beginning to feel I don't want to be with him, even feeling angry and resentful with him that he just does not get it, which then makes me feel terrible, guilty, a very bad mother.

I feel very very bad writing that, I hate to admit it, but it is true and I feel this is beginning to affect my relationship with him.

I can't enjoy him any more, as I did so much when he was younger, I am beginning to dread spending time with him. I just want him to say ONE word, point to ONE thing, and he doesn't, ever. I have become convinced that he will never talk.

It is not helped by the fact that my DH is getting increasingly cross with me, telling me I am making a mountain out of a molehill and that DS is not really speech delayed and that the developmental guidelines in the books and on the internet are just people being prescriptive and judgemental with no validity. This has led to some big fights, which does not help my state of mind. (He does agree to go along with the programme the SALT sends, and is very hands-on and involved with DS's care, and I know will do all he can for him, but he is just not prepared to accept any "label" for his son).

I am sorry this is so long. I am becoming very upset and miserable over this.

OP posts:
BestNameEver · 30/03/2011 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becaroooo · 30/03/2011 16:42

My first gut instinct would be to get his eyes and hearing tested.

Once you have done that, you can move on from there into looking into other therapies.

Sammy74 · 31/03/2011 13:53

Oh no theDudesmummy, the book is £34.95 on this site! Can you cancel your order?

takes two to talk

Original poster
theDudesmummy · 01/04/2011 10:27

The book is already on the way, so silly me for not looking around more! Oh well...
On the broght side, he appears to have said car yesterday, several times, while we were playing with a car toy. I choose to belive so anyway! He is off sick from nursery today with tummy upset, so I have had to stay home from work this morning, so I am going to do some activities with him now and see if he says car again!
Thanks again everyone...

OP posts:
Original poster
theDudesmummy · 01/04/2011 13:23

The book has arrived, and the SALT also called me this morning. She appoved very much of the book, and indeed from skimming it briefly before settling down to read it, I recognised a lot of similarities to her pregramme that she sent us. Thanks to those who recommended it.

OP posts:
Vikkile · 04/04/2011 16:43

Please, please take a deep breath and relax. I'm certain he can feel your tension. It is so hard. My son, now 14 years old, did not say anything until he was 3 years 1month old. I worried and worried. I took him for hearing tests, to a speech pathologist, and to the ENT to make sure he was not compromised by ear infections. None of it proved helpful. Finally at age 3 he started speaking and then I wondered why I wanted him to because he NEVER was quiet again!!!! hee hee I have been a daycare provider for 17 years and have seen lots of speech issues. The best at home help I have found is a web site called Speechtails (.com). The Speech Pathologist who developed it is a mom so she really "gets" it! I love the site for it's tips, games, books, and I use the program with two of my current daycare kiddos. If you get a minute check it out! there is also an area where you can post questions which I find very helpful.
Good Luck, you're a good mom, keep your chin up and try to stay positive!
Vikki B, Indiana

Original poster
theDudesmummy · 08/04/2011 12:34

Thanks for all the support again everyone. We have been using the Two to Talk book (what a fab book!) and I have been trying to relax more. Yesterday he SAID A WORD! He took my car keys and distinctly said "keys" several times, then wandered off going "k...k...k?" in a thoughtful way. I know this is just a beginning and doesn't mean he can actually talk, and that we still have to keep working hard on all the advice we have, but it at least signalled to me that he understands the concept of his saying something rather than letting everyone else talk!

OP posts:
lingle · 08/04/2011 13:48
Smile

SALTS love the book. This in itself is empowering for parents, because once your SALT can see you've mastered the techniques, she can talk to you on a more even footing - you won't quite be a "beginner" any more - so you'll hopefully be able to get more out of your professional.

Original poster
theDudesmummy · 08/04/2011 14:31

Yes, when I told her I had the book she told me that she has been on a Hanen training and that she is a big fan of their method Time will tell I suppose, but at least the book makes us feel better, DH did not object to it and has been reading it, and I feel I am not alone and am doing the best I can for my little sausage.

OP posts:
lingle · 08/04/2011 15:12

my DS2 is a little sausage too. even though he's five now.

StarExpat · 08/04/2011 15:24

awww. That's lovely! This is how it started for us, too theDudesmummy. Just a word here a word there, animal sounds somewhat then all of a sudden it just happened and then over a few months it was like magic. I hope this is the same thing that happens with your lovely DS :)

I remember walking around the farm with DS when he was about 19 months and saying animal sounds and asking him but he couldn't/wouldn't say - and then there was a mother with a baby girl in her arms, who could not have been older than 14 months at the most but probably much younger - she said to her DD "what does a sheep say?" and the little girl belted out a very audible "BAAAA!" mother said "that's it" and kept walking. I remember having a bit of a panic at that moment because my DS was so much bigger and not even remotely interested in producing the sounds.

But now, you can't get him to stop talking (2 and 1/2)! It's so easy to fall into the compare and worry trap. I hope it all comes together for you and DS soon. Sounds much more positive. :)

newMom81 · 30/05/2016 23:28

Hi theDudesmummy, I'm in the same situation as you are. My Son is 22 month old, still has babbles.. You Son must be 7 year old now. How is he doing now ?

whatamess0815 · 31/05/2016 21:30

new, this is an old thread. better start your new one. Smile

OP used to post regularly but on the SN board.

does your DS understand? can he follow instructions? hearing checked? pointing?

Bails2014 · 31/05/2016 21:41

Does he babble at all?

Bails2014 · 31/05/2016 21:47

Whoops, that will teach me to not read though to the end!

Emsiee · 23/10/2020 20:57

Hey there. I’ve been reading this whole thread and I am in the same position as you were right now. Was just wondering what the outcome was ? 🙂

essexmum777 · 25/10/2020 10:12

I think the OP's son was diagnosed with autism.

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