Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

Is this normal or am I just a shit mum? :(

144 replies

FreudianSlippery · 23/03/2011 16:40

I have no idea, DS is my PLB aged 19m.

Basically you know the phrase "he's into everything" - DS just takes it to an extreme. We go to a baby group (baby signing which I know some people are Hmm about but it's really helping his speech catch up) and he's always the only one who doesn't sit still contentedly with mummy. He's always opening the door and escaping into other rooms, exploring everything (he's like it at home too) and screams if I stop him.

I don't know it sounds really daft written down but it's getting to me (if it weren't for the usefulness of the signing I would've given up the class by now) - from the reactions of all the other mums with their perfect sedate babies/toddlers, my DS is misbehaving :(

Which is ridiculous thing to think of a 19mo isn't it - babies can't be 'naughty'! but that's the reaction I get.

My DD was quite a curious girl but she always got the "ooh she's into everything isn't she!" - as a compliment rather than an insult Hmm

I don't get it. Am I doing something wrong? :(

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
ensure · 25/03/2011 12:14

DD is the same. We go for a 30 minute run around the park before any classes. It helps a bit but she is still usually the one child running up and down the room while everyone else has their toddler sat on their knee listening to the music.

Merlion · 25/03/2011 12:21

Another one here. DS 2.5 is a bundle of energy and now seems to have incredible logic and infuriating (at times) sense of humour. He was the first to crawl and walk (at 5.5 and 9 months) from my baby group which at the time all the other Mums of course think you are bragging about but I'm seriously hoping that dd (due in June) waits till she's a little older to start moving around 12 and 18 months are fine for me!!

anniemac · 25/03/2011 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

0891 · 25/03/2011 17:09

anniemac - I love "intrepid" - I shall add it to my bag of descriptions for DS.

Today we tried some pavement training. I am a shell of the woman I was. Confused

monkoray · 25/03/2011 17:35

Shellfish, I'd try out a travel gate before you buy, we bought one for our DS when going to in-laws but its one of those ones that uses pressure to keep it in place and my DS is just too strong. He dislodged it within seconds - thank goodness it was at the bottom of the stairs and he didn't do it at the top and fall all the way down.
He's also dislodged friends babygates that their DSs have used for months with no problem - the ones with pressure mounted pads to keep them in place - if he puts his whole body weight behind it (he's over 2 stone now - at 17 months) they just pop out.
not that i have any better suggestions for keeping DCs away from stairs/rooms you don't want them in.

twinkytonk · 25/03/2011 20:59

tilly ds has done that too but with the pressure fitted metal ones. He kicks the bottom out then crawls through. Most recently at my dads and he's now 3. First time he was about 20 months and appeared next to me downstairs when he was meant to be asleep!

firstsupermum · 25/03/2011 21:06

oh, i have a child 2years today, exactly the same, i feel like everyone just watching me in the street, bus or train, sometimes i even prefer stay at home, he is the only one i have , but he like to touch, and play, dont listen most of the time, but he is realy nice, i find him very cleaver,, he remember and reconize evrything. sometime i realy dont like people looking at me, but i have to learn to egnore them

gabid · 25/03/2011 21:20

DS was the same. I loved the music group and thought it to be so useful, but he was just doing anything but listening or joining in, so I gave up - it can't be so useful if he doesn't enjoy it. Generally, we had lots of silly and stupid phases, he was hard work from day 2!

DD seems easy compared to DS now 6 and I am still having more worries about him than her.

Original poster
FreudianSlippery · 25/03/2011 21:21

Our kitchen doorway is very wide so we had to get a screwfit gate - that's been pulled out of the wall twice.

OP posts:
MoChan · 25/03/2011 21:56

My DD was like this. I have found play-group/with-child-meet-ups (sorry, trying to avoid using the term 'playdate') embarrassing and difficult as a result. She is 3 now, and is still exactly the same. Never stops looking around, grabbing stuff, running around rooms like a maniac, disappearing into dense woodland, climbing on shop displays, chattering...

She's in bed right now.

sighs in exhausted and guilty relief

I used to wish for a child like everyone else had (complaisant, or quiet, or even a bit sleepy). Of course, I wouldn't really swap her for anything.

You're not doing anything wrong, I don't think. They're not behaving badly, they're just curious, and energetic, and enthusiastic. There does come a point when they learn that there is a time when they must be quiet/still/whatever.

Shellfish · 25/03/2011 23:10

Monkoray, thanks. Yes, ds has nearly ripped out our roller blind style gates so travel gates may not be suitable, plus the in laws' staircases are really wide.

I found our by neglect accident today that he is actually scared of coming down stairs by himself anyway - he scooted upstairs after dh this evening when i thought he was in the room next door playing with his toys. Next thing, dh finds him at the top of the stairs whining cos he wants to go back down but won't without assistance, bless im.

I'm obviously not going to rely on this but at least i know he has some form of danger sensors!

SeaShellsHasSandInHerShoes · 26/03/2011 08:23

Went on a trip yesterday, Ds was everywhere, into everything. I got shouty and had those really helpful mums saying " that must be what I sound like" and staring, as i tried to keep him under control whilst feeding the baby

To be far, it was a tractor he was trying to get to. Tractor trumps everything else!

BellaBearisWideAwake · 26/03/2011 08:32

I've often thought that instead of going to a toddler group, me and my friends should just rent a large hall and let the DC run around in it. No toys, just space. He always prefers the part after all the stuff has been packed away anyway.

And then in the summer a field. As long as there is a boundary of some sort.

Original poster
FreudianSlippery · 26/03/2011 08:36

Poor DH, DS was up reaaaaally early today. I think I might take him on reigns for a bit and stick DD on her scooter.

I've got to take him to london next month. Eeeeek!

OP posts:
got2bequackers · 26/03/2011 09:01

Bella ~ can my dd come to the big empty room too? She is exactly the same. Just loves space to run around in.

DD is very bright, independant and curious. She is not naughty, she does not fight with other children or steal their toys like kids do to her.

After over a year at toddler group she is finally getting the hang of storey time (and she even just about sits still for a storey at home, but thats very new!) But that maybe because that's when they get a drink and a biscuit.....

nikki1978 · 26/03/2011 09:15

Another mad child here. DS has just turned 4 and is just as full on as ever!

He does have very quiet periods now but only when he is watching TV or playing on the PC. The rest of the time he is running around pretending to shoot people, running away from me in the shops/by roads/at the park, destroying things etc etc.

The destructive thing does annoy me. He peels wallpaper off when my back is turned and in his old bedroom there are massive sections missing where he did it when I thought he was asleep, if he sees a bit of bark hanging off a tree he wants to stand there pulling that off too.

I have tried taking him to classes to let some of his creativity out but he doesn't seem to have the attention span for that.

He is also STILL not fully potty trained and he starts school in just over 5 months - arrggghhhh!

I hope school will be good for him though - I am worried he is too energetic for formal schooling but I suppose reception might help settle him down in time for Y1.

nikki1978 · 26/03/2011 09:17

Merlion my DS was the same. His sister walked at 13 months so when he started at 8 and a half months I was not a happy bunny! Everyone else was so excited and amazed and all I could think was how much of a pain in the arse it was going to be! Grin

cep · 26/03/2011 09:25

Thank god i found this thread. My ds 2.10 is sooo energetic, he still goes into cupboards just so he can bang the doors, never does as he's told. He's so different from his stepbrother that my dh is convinced he has adhd. He has now started having really bad nights waking up everynight for any time between 2-4 hours wanting to play is anyone else finding that?

MoChan · 26/03/2011 20:47

Yes, my dd has gone through phases of waking and playing for a few hours in the night. Couldn't do much about it, and have heard other friends have had similar. Absolutely couldn't get her back to sleep. Exhausting. No advice, but the phases do pass.

Original poster
FreudianSlippery · 26/03/2011 21:00

DS has never been a good sleeper - unlike his sister who slept through from a few weeks old Confused - but she had formula as well as BFing, and had a dummy... DS is (still) a boob monster. We've only just stopped BFing during the night, which he's got used to but poor DH ends up having to cuddle him back to sleep some nights. He's not getting enough sleep at all - only one nap, and doesn't end up in bed til really late

OP posts:
albinoblacksheep · 26/03/2011 22:23

And here was me sitting here pulling my hair out thinking my DD was the only monster overly energetic brat destructive 'into anything' child.
At 6/7 months old she could walk round the furniture and by the time she hit 1 she could run and climb into/out of/over pretty much anything within blinking time.
Now she's 22 months and like Houdini!

First we have the small problem of her being able to escape her buggy, then the fact that she will walk about 20 yards then expect to be picked up. So she has a tantrum because I refuse to carry her, and I strap her screaming back into her buggy, only for her to climb straight back out usually after she's thrown her shoes off. then when she does walk along its usually in the opposite direction to where we're going. I tried the 'bye then I'm going this way approach' and she just cheerfully waves and says bye and carries on going and when I start to follow she runs. and boy is she fast. Reins are even more fun, she just lays on the floor hanging on them having a major 'toddler tantrum'. Don't get me wrong she's not always naughty a monster. But sometimes it feels like it!

Whoever had the vodka last, please pass it over!

FoxtrotMikeLima · 27/03/2011 13:12
MoChan · 27/03/2011 19:52

This thread has made me feel so much better, actually. I have days when I feel as though people are staring at me thinking I'm a hopeless mother. Good to know I'm not alone. Thanks, OP.

sarahtigh · 27/03/2011 23:18

Shellfish I have DD who is in to everything and a wide period staircase, so no pressure gate would fit and attaching screws into 200 year old mahogany not really an option, however these old staircases are generally shallower steps, I have taught deliberately DD to climb up and come down backwards, she is now 16months and very good on stairs however she has now decided crawling is babyish and wants to hold my hand and walk down jumping each step but she never tries it on her own, if I am bringing laundry down she will follow the sensible way she climbs everything as an old house need the big stepladder to clean windows so she was up the ladder behind me , how when she is only 73cm very small for age,she can manage steps 30cm apart!! she can as she is small and light make herself a staircase out of stuff,
step 1 a box of dvds step 2 shoebox step 3 top of my briefcase step 4 top of computer desk walks along dado rail with hands on wall like rock climber to get to house phone sits on desk delighted with herself while her mother has kittens, I had no idea she could do it so half shocked and half amazed at problem solving skills result yet another rearrangement of furniture so no more inching along dado rail

Shellfish do your inlaws still have the o;d period door knobs as they are much harder esp if at a height could they not lock certain rooms we do!!

good luck

PenguinArmy · 28/03/2011 02:51

my DD is only nearly 13 months, but I think she is heading down this road.

I'm amaze that the other babies just sit there, while she meanwhile is stealing everyone else's belonging, pressing the stereo (which the lady doesn't like, but why she just doesn't put on a higher table instead of the a bench I don't know). Stealing the organisers guitar and teddies Grin

Luckily atm they find it cute, but that's because she was an early walker (9months) and she is small for her age. She seems to be testing that limit though