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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is this normal or am I just a shit mum? :(

144 replies

FreudianSlippery · 23/03/2011 16:40

I have no idea, DS is my PLB aged 19m.

Basically you know the phrase "he's into everything" - DS just takes it to an extreme. We go to a baby group (baby signing which I know some people are about but it's really helping his speech catch up) and he's always the only one who doesn't sit still contentedly with mummy. He's always opening the door and escaping into other rooms, exploring everything (he's like it at home too) and screams if I stop him.

I don't know it sounds really daft written down but it's getting to me (if it weren't for the usefulness of the signing I would've given up the class by now) - from the reactions of all the other mums with their perfect sedate babies/toddlers, my DS is misbehaving :(

Which is ridiculous thing to think of a 19mo isn't it - babies can't be 'naughty'! but that's the reaction I get.

My DD was quite a curious girl but she always got the "ooh she's into everything isn't she!" - as a compliment rather than an insult

I don't get it. Am I doing something wrong? :(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mercedes519 · 23/03/2011 20:01

micky mine was/is

And he doesn't listen but maybe that's just a boy thing - he gets very aborbed in running away what he's looking at.

mamasmissionimpossible · 23/03/2011 20:05

My ds was like this as a toddler. He needed daily exercise running around the park every day in order for him to run off his boundless energy. All the cupboards were emptied and every button pressed. I tried to take him to tumble tots, BIG mistake. He just ran round the hall like a loon, and would not do any of the set activities.

He is 5 now and has calmed down, but is still a fidget and likes to move alot. When I had dd, I couldn't belive she would actually stay by my side. DS would have been off like a shot at any opportunity, it was exhausting!

Pinkjenny · 23/03/2011 20:15

Yup, no talking here. Plenty of mama, baba, that kind of thing, but no discernible words. No talking, just climbing, running and falling. And tormenting his sister.

MotherOfHobbit · 23/03/2011 20:25

Ooh, so nice to know having a little maniac is normal.
Until I went back to work (at 7months for DS) , I regularly met up with the other mums from my antenatal class and the other babies would lie nicely on the floor and gum their toys. DS would refuse, he had to stand on my lap, reach for everything and should scream at the top of his voice in excitement. I always felt so awkward.
Now, he's crawling....and the cat is too traumatised to come home.

Fluteyboots · 23/03/2011 20:45

Oh yes, I've got one of these. Breaks at least one object a day, throws everything, empties out any drawer or cupboard he can get into in seconds. He can't walk across a room without swiping at every interesting thing that catches his eye on the way.

Every switch must be pressed. If you pick him up, there is always something over your shoulder he wants. Will not sit stick for more than 5 seconds unless he is actually asleep. I have never actually observed him sit and play with something for more than a minute. Large objects must be pushed across the floor, chairs, washing baskets etc. Smaller objects must be climbed on or into. At least the weather is warming up, so trips to swings and long walks are easier (not the only child in the playground at 2 degrees any more) :o

CHST · 23/03/2011 21:16

Can I join? I have 2 very cheeky monkeys...one 4 1/2, the other 2. The eldest VERY strong willed and in the back chatty phase, the youngest in the tantrum phase. My eldest was also the kid that never sat still, into everything, would not sit on my lap at these lovely ahem groups. I started him at gymnastics at 4 to help with this excessive energy. He now makes gymnastic circuits round the house and is even worse. Sigh. I have lost count of the days I have literally counted down till dh came home to take over. The youngest has awful tantrums though this time round, I am so calm and let him get on with it. I am sure I am pitied. One of the toddler groups I go to is so supportive and understanding which is lovely. I know it sounds awful but when I see other kids act up I actually like it as then for once it is not one of mine.

Chelly71 · 23/03/2011 21:18

This is hilarious, my DS (15mnths) is exactly the same... I am that mum at Tin pan annie who is constantly up and down whilst he tries to grab the guitar off the nice lady playing songs... rip the book from her hands, take all the toys from TPA's box, grab every single instrument.... I come home exhausted. He finds so many things funny, is a very quick learner and just tremendous fun... we call him a giddy kipper and get on with it (aided by large glasses of wine). Good luck to all you ladies with crazy boys, I'd take them any day x

HumphreyCobbler · 23/03/2011 21:24

My DS was a bolter. I wouldn't go anywhere without walls for about two years. I couldn't leave him for a nanosecond, he would run off as fast as he could, and not look back. It was hell challenging.

ceebeegeebies · 23/03/2011 21:26

DS1 has always been like this - I would say that it has got better now he is 4.7 but I took him to a show/music concert thingy this weekend and he would not sit still Although, to be fair, he has improved a lot....going out for a walk with him was always challenging until he turned 4!

DS2, otoh, is a dream as far as this is concerned. He has never once made an effort to run off from me, I can leave the front door open and he doesn't try and make a run for it. DH once spent an hour on the drive last summer building a bike for DS1's birthday whilst DS2 (about 20 months at the time) pottered round....that would have been unheard of with DS1 at that age.

I have a friend with 2 DD's and she genuinely doesn't understand what I am talking about - she just looks at me like this --->

Caz10 · 23/03/2011 21:51

Whenever we walk anywhere she is jumping on walls, up peoples garden paths, hanging off lamp posts etc. I'm exhausted just watching her

allegrogirl that really made me laugh, Dd is just the same! They would enjoy playing together!

monkoray · 23/03/2011 21:52

I know what you mean but i have to agree with Cheekyprincess, I love the fact my Ds (17 months) is so curious and energetic. He does rampage around instead of sitting still in music class but at least he is having fun. I'd rather he was confident and interested in discovering things for himself than sedate and clingy. He does make me giggle.
Not sure its a boy/girl thing though, i've seen girls who are just as hyper blessed with good energy

Original poster

FreudianSlippery · 24/03/2011 08:10

DD is more energetic now actually (3.9) I think since starting nursery - the staff are always commenting that she spends most of the time outside (they see it as a positive thing though)

Very good point about speech. DS is definitely well behind average - he's got the double whammy of being a boy, who tend to develop this later, AND being a second child, so he's not getting as much one-to-one time as DD did (she was basically average with words, despite finding speech sounds difficult)

I'm actually taking DS to a HV drop in today so I'm going to mention this as I'm not sure at what point they start 'worrying'. In all other aspects he's fine - he's building a lovely tower ATM and actually sitting still.

Maybe it's because he's not taken out enough, so when he's out he thinks FREEDOM!!! If he sees somebody about to leave the house he'll run to the door and try to get out first. Managed to escape outside recently and got about 20m away - in bare feet!

OP posts:

Pinkjenny · 24/03/2011 09:21

It was such a shock to us, as ds literally sat in a bouncer and barely moved until he was six months old! He's clearly been making up for it ever since.

Flutey - that's so funny - we actually call ds Swiper!

Freudian - how has your dd responded to her manic baby brother? My dd is most perturbed that he doesn't want to sit and cuddle her all day, and he generally drives her completely mad

Whyriskit · 24/03/2011 09:39

I have a 3 year old DS1 and he's exactly like this, although at 3, he also never ever stops talking! Had a good friend with a DD the same age last week who couldn't understand (and kept asking her mummy) why on earth DS1 would intentionally spill his cup of milk on the carpet...
And we had to stop going to Jo Jingles too as he kept making a dash for freedom. A couple of people on this thread have mentioned their DCs being of the ginger persuasion, DS1 isn't, but DS2 is. He's only 7 months so don't know what he'll be like yet...

0891 · 24/03/2011 11:19

a "spirited toddler" support thread - hurrah, I have found my spiritual home. I'll be back when I've peeled DS off the compost heap

SouthGoingZax · 24/03/2011 11:36

Just an update:
We couldn't find my car key yesterday. I remembered that DT1 has had a bit of a phase of swiping things from the kitchen worktop and chucking them in the kitchen bin.

We asked DT1 (they are both good talkers) again and again where he had put the key - he kept saying 'door'.

The bin men came yesterday morning.

Cue me and Dh, 20 mins before the bin men are due to collect the rubbish, tipping the sacks out on a tarpaulin in front of the french windows (so it doubled as entertainment for the DTs) sifting and searching for the aforementioned key.

we unearthed a host of treasures including 2 toy cars, a flannel and the car key . Parents 1, DTs 0!!!

Afterwards, when we asked DT1 where he had put the key, he grinned sheepishly and said "bin".

We have now ordered a key rack. No more keys on the kitchen worktop!

Pinkjenny · 24/03/2011 11:39

for South

What would happen if we got them all together?

SouthGoingZax · 24/03/2011 11:42

I think it would be armageddon.

Imagine if they got organised!

It must never happen.

Pinkjenny · 24/03/2011 11:47

at two of them working together

Shellfish · 24/03/2011 11:53

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Ds (19 months) is cute, funny, mischievous but, dear god, he is hard work. I'm always the embarrassed mum pulling him out from under things, off things and taking him away from things at playgroup. All the other mums know his name.

Taking him round to houses not inhabited by toddlers is far too stressful, actually even those houses still present a nightmare - he managed to rip down the cover of my niece's Wendy house the other day.

People ask me when we're going to take him abroad for the first time - my response is when we can afford a private jet with a playroom full of toys.

Original poster

FreudianSlippery · 24/03/2011 11:54

Good grief DD and DS are dangerous enough when they get together I can't imagine adding more!

They wind each other up a lot but they do totally adore each other too :) and sometimes DS does sit with her, the other day DD was 'reading' Dear Zoo to him.

Anyway not feeling so bad today despite a hassled morning at SureStart - DS escaped a few times even when I was talking to the HV! But then took him to the park and now he's asleep in the buggy hurrah!

OP posts:

Pinkjenny · 24/03/2011 11:55

Hear you on the taking him round to people's houses. We can't take ds to my mum's as she has no stairgate, and we spend the entire duration of the visit removing him from the bottom, middle or top of the stairs.

Oh and she has a dining table made of solid glass. Even the base is pure glass. When I think about the things he could do to it, or it could to do him, well, it's just not worth it.

Tillyscoutsmum · 24/03/2011 11:58

yy to other people's houses being a nightmare. Our house has been de-Ferged as we call it but a visit anywhere else just ends up with me following him around to stop him breaking/climbing on/spilling/throwing things.

Tillyscoutsmum · 24/03/2011 11:58

Jen - do you think your mum is trying to tell you something ? A glass table, for the Love of God !

Pinkjenny · 24/03/2011 11:59

My best friend has two dds, and her favourite thing to say to me is, 'I dont know what I would have done with a boy.' No love, I don't know what I'm doing either.

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