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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is this normal or am I just a shit mum? :(

144 replies

FreudianSlippery · 23/03/2011 16:40

I have no idea, DS is my PLB aged 19m.

Basically you know the phrase "he's into everything" - DS just takes it to an extreme. We go to a baby group (baby signing which I know some people are about but it's really helping his speech catch up) and he's always the only one who doesn't sit still contentedly with mummy. He's always opening the door and escaping into other rooms, exploring everything (he's like it at home too) and screams if I stop him.

I don't know it sounds really daft written down but it's getting to me (if it weren't for the usefulness of the signing I would've given up the class by now) - from the reactions of all the other mums with their perfect sedate babies/toddlers, my DS is misbehaving :(

Which is ridiculous thing to think of a 19mo isn't it - babies can't be 'naughty'! but that's the reaction I get.

My DD was quite a curious girl but she always got the "ooh she's into everything isn't she!" - as a compliment rather than an insult

I don't get it. Am I doing something wrong? :(

OP posts:

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rexrabbit · 23/03/2011 17:47

don't worry OP! he'll grow out of it (I used to go to a music and movement class with a friend who had a girl about that age who was exactly the same: we had to give it up after a while). she's chilled out a lot now and so should you: as for other judgemental mums: WTF esp the smugs. xx

vickibee · 23/03/2011 17:47

My DS is now 4 and has grown out of this, he was rubbish at listening but now he does stop if I tell him. He was exactly like you describe but is calming down as he gets older

paddypoopants · 23/03/2011 17:54

My ds is the same. I foolishly booked a term of Jo Jingles classes when ds was 20 months- it was an embarrassment. I spent the whole time hauling him back to the circle. By the end of each session I was exhausted and the other mums were pissed off with us. We never went back after that term. I felt like a crap mum. I feel for you but know you are not alone.

Original poster

FreudianSlippery · 23/03/2011 17:58

Thanks so much for all the reassuring posts. He's just so much more hard work than DD was and I'm exhausted. I'm feeling like I have let him down - he's been stuck indoors a lot more than DD was.

I am a bit of the other DCs there 'behaving themselves'... I never did any of the classes with DD (in fact I hardly did anything as I had quite debilitating PND) so I don't know what she would've been like. She was always 'into stuff' and very confident about going away from me - and had no problem settling at nursery. Maybe DS is the same - I guess that's one thing I can be proud of...

OP posts:

SeaShellsHasSandInHerShoes · 23/03/2011 18:08

Yup, Ds just like this.

Last time we were at the play ground he showed his friends how to open the gate and make a run for it (he's nearly 2.5). The trick
Is to look innocent by the sand pit, then run when mum looks down at the baby

I have to admire his ingenuity. I try to only cry in private

SeaShellsHasSandInHerShoes · 23/03/2011 18:11

Xpost OP-Ds needs walking twice a day like a puppy - stressful but better than us both going up the wall!!

LessNarkyPuffin · 23/03/2011 18:13

My friend has a DS a few months older than yours who is just the same. The only things that he'll sit still for are stories and certain DVDs. The rest of the time he's free range.

Tillyscoutsmum · 23/03/2011 18:19

DS is 15 months and regularly drives me insane (and has me reaching for vodka)

We had cupboard locks and what not when dd started to be mobile and never needed to fit them They are fitted with DS but he has now worked out how to open the bloody things. Today he has smashed 2 (almost brand new) Denby serving platters. He has also used a toy to climb up to reach the kitchen surface and has pulled a spice rack on to the floor, scattering the contents everywhere. It has not been a good day !

thisisyesterday · 23/03/2011 18:21

oh hello FS, I think we should def meet up cos my youngest is exactly the same!
am pretty sure it isn't just because i'm a shit parent as the other 2 aren't that bad

he is actually a bad bad baby! he actively looks for naughty stuff to do ALL the time. My mum had them a few weeks ago and was tearing her hair out by the time I came back.
She has worked in a children's home and as a childminder and said "i've never seen anything like him" lol

spiderlight · 23/03/2011 18:22

My DS has just turned 4 and is exactly like this. We had to stop going to a lovely calm Steiner toddler group when he was about 18 months old because he worked out how to open the baby gate and would run riot in the main hall when he was supposed to be singing/drawing/listening to stories. He's at nursery now and that has calmed him down a bit, although he still needs a LOT of free running every day. I'm hoping he'll be a bit more settled at school, but frankly it could go eitehr way - he has the potential to be either a real achiever or the naughty ginger kid!

COCKadoodledooo · 23/03/2011 18:34

Ds2 is 17 months next week, and he's just the same.

So many people at the school gate keep saying how fantastic it is that he's walking/running so well (has been since he was a year) but I just tell them that actually it's a bleedin' nightmare, I can't keep up!

He is very definitely 'into everything'. My house is a farking bombsite.

Ds1 was never like this. Had he been, he could very well have remained simply 'ds'

Chuck us the voddie?

Caz10 · 23/03/2011 18:36

A Dd here, now 3, has been like that for as long as I can remember, it is exhausting! We do try to work on the same rules as we do for our Labrador ie 2 good walks a day or they are unbearable! A like- minded friend is helpful, Dd sees one little boy weekly who she really clicks with, we just take them to wide open spaces and let them go!

Original poster

FreudianSlippery · 23/03/2011 19:02

Love that this has turned into a "my child is into everything" support thread :o

Quite left out of the vodka bit though... am drink free here so I'll settle in with Pepsi max - I need the caffeine after running about with DS - between that and constantly placing his willy back in the nappy (!) I'm so tired.

I like the dog walking idea :o he's a handful on reins so it'll be a hoot - just stick to the local area I think!

TIY - I'm thinking MM to let 'em run riot?! (I can't say the full name of the place even in RL - DD goes a bit nuts...)

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 23/03/2011 19:22

tell the truth, you're thinking the same as me aren't you? meet up would be lovely, but not at my house lol

MM sounds good to me, he can't escape from there

Caz10 · 23/03/2011 19:23

I'd go outdoors if u can OP, indoor play places seem to make it worse! Fresh air all the way! Oh and at 3 we are still being shamed into leaving organised classes etc..!

Firawla · 23/03/2011 19:27

definitely not just you! at that age my ds1 was very much like that i felt like he was always the only one who would not sit down! very very active. now he is nearer 3 he is sometimes a bit better, but not always. sometimes he is still the only one trying to run round the outside of the circle pretending to be a train at singing or something like that while all the others are sat down nicely. ds2 is also showing signs of starting this im sure once he can walk he will probably be the same. i think its partly a boy thing and partly a personality thing. i dont really think it indicates crap parenting, agree they really need the fresh air/exercise/dog walking etc

Original poster

FreudianSlippery · 23/03/2011 19:33

Haha well nobody comes to our house anyway because it's a hole

I think I do need to get outside more - not easy as we don't have a garden - just a front lawn which is surrounded by feckless drivers cars. Oh well at least summer is near... We have a lovely playground so I can take him there before/after DD's preschool sessions.

OP posts:

Allegrogirl · 23/03/2011 19:39

My DD is like this and it's exhausting. It somehow seems worse in a girl as people seem to expect her to be calm and nice. We gave up on Jo Jingles after 4 weeks as she was constantly trying to lead the other children a stray by getting them to chase her around the room. Far more fun than sitting down with maracas. Whenever we walk anywhere she is jumping on walls, up peoples garden paths, hanging off lamp posts etc. I'm exhausted just watching her. She's 3.5 and still runs away from me. Getting her out of the house/in the bath/to bed/ to the dinner table often involves a game of chase with threats being shouted with no effect.

Me and DH are quite thoughtful, shy types and we really don't know where she gets it from.

BertieBasset · 23/03/2011 19:39

We go to a rhythm time class, my dd (19 months) likes music but on her terms. And usually adds to the class by "singing" loudly while legging round the circle. And always tries to get out the door. And screams if anyone tries to take her chosen instrument away. I'm amazed they still let us in.

I like to think she is spirited

MickyLee · 23/03/2011 19:41

Just spoke to my mum on skype. She was here for 2 weeks and left last week.

She told me that she was telling my sister what he was like, Really funny etc but into everything. Stood on the dining room table one minute, throwing main cushions off the sofa to somersault onto the next.

My sister said "well when I'm a mum, I'm going to be very strict. I wouldn't put up with any of that!"

Well let's just hope she gets one just the same

Georgimama · 23/03/2011 19:45

My mantra is "it's a phase, it's all a phase". DS's short life has been a succession of phases. I have bonded with a colleague over this - her son is 2, mine is 4. The only mum friends she had were all SMOGS (what a good acronym) until we started to chat over the water cooler as it were. Our sons are normal, honest.

thisisyesterday · 23/03/2011 19:55

dp just called me upstairs because "ds3 has something to tell you".

he was standing in his cot totally naked.
offering me his nappy.

aaaaaggggghhhhhhhh

ellensmelons · 23/03/2011 19:57

Yars. Placid girl, hyper boy here! I used to be a bit miffed he wasn't more like his amenable elder sis, but now he's 2.6 and communication is sooooooo much better he is really coming into his own. Such a funny sense of humour, has us in stitches. And calmer - although he still has his moments..

He WILL relax. He sounds very inquisitive. And that's not a bad thing at all.

MickyLee · 23/03/2011 19:59

So after mentioning talking, my DS isn't good at talking. I have put it down to the fact he never listens.

Are the boys who 'are into everything' slower talkers?

Mercedes519 · 23/03/2011 20:00

I lost DS in B&Q once and found him behind the trade counter

And Toys R Us. And Sainsbury's. And John Lewis.

Into.everything.

But better now at 4.5. He comes back

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