Disastrous Playdates - Ever Had One?

[Earlybird]

DD's little friend was supposed to be here all afternoon. She arrived crying and in a stroppy mood, and within 30 minutes we'd had 2 major incidents resulting in tears on both sides. Thought things might calm down with a bit of food in their tummies, but not the case. The friend was demanding, wouldn't share (even with me involved), and said things that caused dd to cry. The sitting room is a complete tip, as most everything was pulled out in an effort to engage them and change the mood, to no avail. The friend finally said she wanted to go home, and her mum came and got her 3 hours early!

Must say it was a huge relief to send her home, as I didn't know how we were going to make it through the afternoon! I think perhaps she was just having an off day because normally the two children really get on. Sometimes maybe it's just better to cut your losses, and try again another day....

Has something like this ever happened to you?

I have twice called time on a playdate. Once when dd's best friend was being unremittingly horrible to her and once when a different (boy) friend first locked her in the Wendy house and later punched her in the stomach. In both cases the other child had a parent present and I just said right, time to take her/him home, this is not fun. One rang with profuse apologies and offered to take us swimming the next day and we've never looked back. The other we haven't seen since.

In both cases the parents were having serious maital problems and I did wonder if envy was part of it - as well as desperation to stop the parent crying on my shoulder and get some attention.

first one was terrible. invited a kid who I thought ds1 was big friends with. turned out they were but 6 months earlier. wondered why ds1 didn't look that happy when I said I'd invited x. X ended up smashing up all ds1's beloved trains and kicking my walls. learned big lesson though. always check with your child before issuing invitations.

oh and just remembered when ds2 was born a horrible aunt and her devil daughter came to visit us unnannounced. they spent the entire afternoon saying things like "no wonder you never wear any smart clothes bosscat as they get filthy so quickly with a toddler and a baby dont they?" they hogged the baby, ignored ds1 and he went for his bath with dh. when he came back down and they were still there he said OH NO ALL THE PEOPLES GO HOME NOW and put his little hands on his hips and opened the front door. I have never been so proud.

Years ago before I had dd and dsd I took my sister and toddler son round to a friend with 3 yo only son. 3 yo didn't want to share toys so punched nephew hard and immediately got a punch back for his pains (nephew had 5 yo sister so used to this sort of thing). 3 yo was so shocked he didn't even cry. Though I don't condone violence at all his expression was priceless and I still remember it now .