End of my tether with DD 2.3 hitting/scratching

[Sammy74]

I have just come back from playgroup in tears. My DD hit or scratched 5 other toddlers in 1.5 hours. I am so upset with her :(

Whenever another toddler had something she wanted she hit them or grabbed their face, leaving a scratch mark. I found it really hard to stop her in time as I was trying to feed my 3 month DD2.

Every time I caught her doing something wrong I asked her to say sorry to the other child kneeling down to her level and told her (in an angry voice) not to hit/scratch and picked her up and moved her to a different toy. It obviously made no difference to her behaviour as she did it so many times and in the end I just left.

She is at nursery 3 days a week and although she had a problem with hitting and biting in the summer, the nursery have told me she has improved dramatically.

She has always been a bit 'rough' with other kids at playgroups but today was the last straw and I feel really down about it all. It made me so sad to see all the other toddlers playing nicely together and her just lashing out. I had to apologise to 5 mums/carers about her behaviour to their children.

She cannot speak much (although this is improving every day) and I wonder if she is frustrated and this is her way of getting what she wants.

Has anyone had a similar experience with their toddler?

They do go through a phase of this. I was mortified when picking up my (verbal, articulate, no excuse!) 2.3 year old dd from nursery and she had a 'good girl' sticker - because she hadn't pushed or bitten anyone that day! And it's hard to manage when you have a baby to deal with as well. Try not to feel too bad about it. It won't be 'all' the other toddlers her age playing nicely; more likely that the other ones going through the pushing / biting stage are at home or in the park!

I get your point about giving the playgroup a miss for a bit, but it's just convenient as I can give the baby her feed there rather than in a park or something. I try to get out of the house in the mornings as I get cabin fever trying to entertain both DD's in the living room!

I will give playgroup another go next week and if there is no improvement I will bin it for a while.

Im going through this with my twins but its both of them which really doesnt help.

They get told to say sorry and removed from the toys when they have done it and have time out for 2 mins. It doesnt help that im pregnant with another set of twins so a lardy bum who cant walk properly etc so I cant get out of the house.

Have you asked nursery what they do if she hits/scratches there? Might help if you do the same? I know quite a few nurseries use a time out-difficult to implement when out and about,but maybe you could just make her sit on a chair or something for a few minutes?