My daughter is almost 5 and is an angel at school but is so naughty at home what do i do?

[bexjking]

this has been a recent thing being worse in the last couple of weeks. she is an angel at school all of the teachers / children love her but when shes at home shes terrible. not listening or doing as shes asked arguing and answering back all of the time. i cant have a conversation on the phone because she shouts and screams at me the whole time i am on the phone. when we are out and about she is pretty good but at home she wants attention all of the time and she gets it but not in a good way like she used to. we put her on the naughty step but this only works usually when shes been on it for 3/4 times before. i also have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who is really good and i seem to be spending all of my time sitting my eldest daughter on the step!

Is she in reception? If so, this is pretty normal behaviour - and a reaction to following lots of new rules at school. They are really tired and find it hard to cope at this age - even if they look like they are doing fine.

I think more food can really help here - I meet mine with a snack plus water to get her home and then made dinner at 4.30 for a term or two after she started. Plus let her just veg out in front of the TV until it was ready.

I would cut back on the punishments. It's really common for kids to get grumpy after school when they've just started full-time school. They are really really tired and have had to behave at school all day. I think the punishments just make them feel more 'got at' and makes it worse.

I would make sure she has a snack and drink after school and let her do something restful - maybe watch TV.

yes she is but has been there since september 2009 so is used to it now. this has been a more recent thing. she eats plenty usually saving some of her packed lunch for when she gets home but this makes no difference. she deliberately annoys her younger sister alot and its such hard work!

she comes home has her snack and watches tv everyday! its not just an after school thing its mornings and weekends too.she gets plenty of sleep and is usually full of beans when she gets back from school. as i say shes been at school for well over a year now.

another thing to add we were having a talk with her the other day and she said she knows when shes being naughty and sometimes decides to be naughty because she likes being naughty?!!

I always bring school into it when they're lovely at school and rotten at home eg "would you speak to your teacher that way?" or "do you interupt Mrs X when she's talking to a grown up?"
In extreme cases, I have been known to threaten to go into school and tell Mrs X that this is how they're behaving at home. Obviously I never have done but works well as a threat

i have also said that she cries about it if i say anything like i will tell your teacher but she still carries on! i just dont know what to do because when shes good shes really good but when shes bad we certainly know about it! i have tried naughty corner star reward charts taking her toys away etc even ignoring the naughty behaviour but nothing seems to work! when shes good we give her more praise and say to her 'see its better being a good girl isnt it' and she always agrees

My dd (age 6) has similar behaviour so I sympathise. She gets upset every now and again saying that she knows she behaves badly but can't stop it. I wonder how true that is. She can behave perfectly anywhere else so obviously can control it. Outwith the home she lacks confidence and worries about silly things. I wonder if it is her way of asserting some control in an environment she's comfortable in but I don't have any answers. It's the constant backchat and lack of respect that gets me down. My 3 yr old has no probs with behaviour.

this sounds just like my dd who is 5 and started school in Sept, i also have a 2 year old and she is so awful to him sometimes, i think she is still jelous that he gets more time with me while she is at school, and because she has had to behave all day and she is so eager to please at school when she gets home she just explodes!!! no advice just sympathy, its got to pass at somestage i wonder what will be the next phase!!!

I can understand the having to be good all day and letting it out at home. I suppose we all do that to a certain extent lol!

Just wondering how your daughters behavior is nowadays, as reading this post was like I could of wrote it word for word

I second the snack idea. The first few months of Reception are quite gentle. After Christmas, things start to get more structured - at least at DD's school. Pre-Xmas it was quite play-focused and now there's been a switch in learning to read etc. I'd say school has become a lot more mentally tiring.

I give my daughter either a peanut butter sandwich or a banana and milk as soon as we get home. I let her eat it while chilling out with a colouring book or something non-brainy, just to let her relax after a full day of negotiating her way around a huge amount of erratic little people. I don't ask her anything. I just potter around. After a bit, she's recharged and approaches me to do something.

No idea if this is helpful...?

I agree with most of the above. They have to be SO good at school.
I can only add Stick Chart and building up to a big treat if she behaves.