Wiping own bum... how old before you expect them to do it?

[cenicienta]

Just had a conversation with DH about bum wiping. DD is 3 and though she goes to the toilet herseld we always wipe her bum. He's worried we might still be doing this for a long time yet. At what age do / did you start letting them do it for themselves?

About 4 I think - but check they're doing it properly - otherwise they can get sore. They need to be able to do it by the time they start reception at school.

Depends on the child. I don't think there comes a point when you can suddenly stop wiping your child's bottom - you have to go through the stages of showing them how to do it, watching them try and helping a bit, watching and finishing off for them, coming up to check they've done it properly, and finally, letting them get on with it, first. And you may well meet a lot of resistance to self-wiping for a very long time, too, because, frankly, children are not stupid and they know it isn't a pleasant task. Also, someone with a small bottom, short arms and short legs, is going to find the task of wiping their bottom a lot more difficult than an adult does, anyway, regardless of the fact it's a new skill to learn. It's not as if an adult risks their bottom falling down the toilet with their feet flailing in the air, being incapable of reaching the toilet paper, or particularly risks getting poo all the way up their arm and all the way up their back, is it?... You have to make accommodations to the general set-up (and possibly, for some less well co-ordinated children, show them different techniques to the adult ones) to help small people do it themselves... Or be one of those heartless types who happily lets their child go around with a sore, red, itchy, smelly bottom.

I have a 5 year old who is always shrieking 'wipe my bottom' at me. I point out that he has to wipe his own bottom at school. He bellows 'I don't pooh at school'. He goes into great detail about his fingers going through toilet paper/ getting pooh on fingers/ I do it better etc, etc. He has no pride at all about it...embarrassing in public toilets and other peoples houses!

Cluttermountain - I could have written that about ds :o

He does generally do it himself, but needs checking sometimes. He has downright stubborn days when he refuses to do it himself.

Both of mine (DS's)have wiped since potty training at around 3.

DS1 was very good at mastering this and wiping till clean - we did go through a lot of paper though because he's a character and takes instruction literally and could block the loo with paper.

DS2 (4) can generally do it himself has but it can all get a bit messy on occasion so we encourage he does two wipes and if its still messy we do the rest when called - also we keep baby wipes by the toilet which help stop him spreading it if he gets it on his fingers (sorry if TMI).

Has she shown any interest in doing it for herself?

Could you do the first wipe and let her do the second to get her into the habit of things?

Dd1 got the hang of it somewhere between 4 and 5.
Dd2 is Miss Independent and does it on her own - she has just turned 3. I do have one wipe at the end though to make sure she has been thorough. Sometimes she has, sometimes nowhere near!

I think somewhere between 4 and 5 is normal. DS (4 and 2 months) manages at nursery school when he needs to, but will ask for help at home.

My dd could do it before school but once I knew she could I didn't mind too much if she actually did. She has just about stopped asking for help at 5.3, but is very capable. Didn't want it to be an issue so never made it one. She does plenty of other things without help so it evened out really

dgs is 4.4 and started doing this just about his 4th birthday

TMI alert

DS is 5 and can manage most times. Occasionally I hear 'Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum. I've done a sloppy one' (I blame his dad) and go into the bathroom to find him kneeling like an extra from The Kind & I, bottom in the air, chocolate butterfly print on his bottom, waiting to be wiped.

let your daughter try to wipe her self and then check and finish wiping if you need to

Iklboo - you made me LOL! My DD is exactly the same except her clarion call is "Ive done a soft one"!

dd is nearly 5 and as soon as she was out of nappies she did no let me wipe her bum.

friends dd is 6 and mum still wipes her bum.

i would say some where between 2 and 6.

dont think I would be happily doing it at 6 though.