what would you think if

[cheeryface]

your 11 year old was constantly being cheeky / cocky , selfish and a bit bratty really and when chastised kept saying that they didnt want to be that way and couldnt help it ?
that you didnt understand them and they really couldnt stop being that way.
???
were sorry later only to behave really badly again usually when not getting own way ?

I would think that this was pretty standard for an 11 year old. DSS (10) has started to constantly say 'who do you think you're talking to!' whenever asked to do anything. Just ignore and carry on as normal, hormones are flying at this age!

finding him very difficult to ignore . seems a bit odd the way he is getting upset saying he cant help it , i have said hes just excusing his bad behaviour and he makes out that theres something wrong with him

I think this is how hormones, and the additional tiredness makes them feel beyond control tbh. I remember feeling like this as a teenager.