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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

1 Year Old Discipline Recommendations Please!

22 replies

highlander · 27/09/2005 17:50

DS is going through a manic biting phase. He's cut his molars (1 to go) so I don't know if it's related.

I've tried putting him down and ignoring him but he's at the stage where everything is exciting so he's not bothered - even in an empty room! By the time he starts wailing I feel it's too late to then ignoire him as he won't remember why I'm disciplining him.

Am I just a bit keen - should I ignore it?

Also, he's started to have tantrums when I won't give him 'things' (the phone etc etc). EEk - what do I do? Distraction?

Can anyone recommend a good book?

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beansprout · 27/09/2005 17:52

I'll be watching this one closely!! I keep distracting at the moment, although with the biting I put him down, but I wouldn't say it's necessarily working - ouch!

marne · 27/09/2005 17:56

ignore or distract, i tried puting dd in tie out in the hall way but she found it realy funny so was a waist of time.

Bellie · 27/09/2005 18:30

watching with interest too dd just started to do this - am doing what you are doing beansprout (hi by the way) and saying NO very loudly. Not sure it is working, but the approach worked when she was eating shoes (saying no loudly and taking shoes away) - now she brings me any shoes left on the floor so may have some association.

hunkermunker · 27/09/2005 18:37

Highlander, I posted re what I did with DS the other day - I was really shocked when he raked his hands down my face because I'd taken him away from the washing machine buttons he wanted to keep playing with!

I picked him up, took hold of his hand, looked him in the eye and said "We don't hit in this family", then I put him in the most boring corner I could find, held him between my knees and didn't look at him. I counted to 60 as I did that - more to give me some time to work out what to do!

If I'd put him on a naughty stair, he'd have thought it was a treat (he likes stairs...!), and if I'd just left him in the corner, he'd not have stayed there.

After I'd counted to 60, I repeated, "We don't hit in this family" and then took him to play with some other toys.

DS is 17mo, so a bit older than your DS, but atm it's working with DS, so it might be worth a go!

geogteach · 27/09/2005 19:17

What is it about these Oct 05 babies, mines a biter too (the other 2 weren't). Mostly just put him down and ignore, to be honest he is so chilled i'm not sure I can actually think of any punishment that would phase him! Think they are a bit young for naughty corner / stair - looks like i'll just be hiding the bite marks for a while!

Roxswood · 27/09/2005 19:38

It doesn't matter if they don't seem upset when you put them down, they'll still learn from it that cuddles and attention stop when they bite. Just be consistent, say No, put him down and try to turn away and not make eye contact for about a minute. I think its better if they're not too upset by it, it shouldn't be a big issue as they're not doing it deliberately to hurt you.

jessicaandbumpsmummy · 27/09/2005 19:42

Jess is 14 months and does the same.... if she continues after a couple of stern "not nice"'s then i put her up in her cot for 5 minutes..... may sound drastic but being 37 weeks pg, i need that 5 minutes to stop myself from hurting her sadly.

madmarchhare · 27/09/2005 19:44

DS started this at around 14mos. I just said 'no biting' and moved him away from whatever we were doing. Seemed to do the trick, in fact we do the same for any other unacceptable behaviour now but just ignore for a bit longer and then explain why we have done what we have just done. Again, seems to be working.

madmarchhare · 27/09/2005 19:46

I would avoid the cot as 'punishment' as it could cause problems when you want them to play or sleep in it.

staceym11 · 27/09/2005 20:32

i put dd in time out (11mth) and have done since she was 7mth she is a real tempur tantrum in a bag and really goes for it!

as they say on the telly she gets a warning and a dont do it again, and then i tell her what shes done wrong and that she will have to sit on mummies lap for a minute, i hold her on my lap dont look at or talk to her and hold her arms so she cant hit me, at the end of the minute i explain what she did wrong and tell her she can go and play but if she does it again she will come and sit on mummies lap again.

it can take a few times to get it into their heads but it works and it doesnt really upset them that much, dd screams the whole time but she isnt upset i can hear it in her voice. lol

good luck!

MrsBigD · 27/09/2005 20:39

oh I'm going to watch this one with interest too... ds is just 1yo and has been a biter for months! He mainly bites me and his nanny and seems it to be fun especially if I yep out in pain! Sadistic little so'n'so!

He doesn't bite dh anymore because dh bit him back! Not something I'd like to try though, especially as I told dh off for it.

I just put ds down saying 'that's because you hurt me'.

He's also starting his tantrums if he can't have something or can't get through to where he wants to go... I'm talking quivering lower lip, pouting and then letting rip with BIG tears rolling down his face. The other day I laughed at him and if looks could kill...

MrsMiggins · 27/09/2005 20:48

My DD (15mths) has started telling herself off, saying "no" when shes done something she shouldnt.
e.g. she gets her beaker and deliberately tips it upside down shaking milk/water over the floor/table etc.
Now she does it and then shouts "no"

its soooo hard not to laugh

amy2310 · 28/09/2005 13:40

Not sure if this will help but when my DD (now 22months!) used to do things wrong or have paddys I put her in her cot so she couldn't play or touch anything for 5mins it really worked for me good luck

Bozza · 28/09/2005 14:04

DD is 16 months and when she is naughty - clobbering her brother round the head with a hard object (eg toy camper van, remote control), biting me etc I pick her up, tell her "we don't hit" or whatever and sit her on the hall facing away from the open door. She invariably, immediately starts wailing. I leave her there for suitable length of time and then get her back and give her a cuddle.

Maybe its just my children. DS also starts wailing the minute he touches the bottom step. He will walk down the hall quite happily but the moment he is down he starts up.

Harrizeb · 28/09/2005 16:40

I started having to discipline DS when he was little too he slapped my face when we were in boots one day because I wouldn't let him pull stuff off the shelves, I was so .

The other thing that I will do, as well as a combination of everything already suggested is sending him away from me/us - not putting him in a corner just telling him to go away. Will only use this if he has been really really really really bad, as I feel it is horrible, but sometimes is all that will get through.

DS has also worked out that he can choose to go in the naughty corner to avoid doing stuff!

H x

kbaby · 29/09/2005 21:09

DD 16 months is the same. If you say the word 'no' then she pouts and loses her temper and either hits me or throws something.
If im holding her and she hits I tell her hitting is naughty and put her down and leave the room. If she throws things I get down on the floor with her tell her to look at me and then say that blah bla is naughty and the reason why. I then ignore her for a bit.
Doesnt seem to be working though. Wondering what age I can use a naughty corner/step

kbaby · 29/09/2005 21:09

MrsMiggins · 16/10/2005 20:51

my DD now slaps my face and then immediately strokes her hand (sign lang for gentle)

again, hard not to laugh

aloha · 16/10/2005 20:53

Distraction and ignore bad behaviour. One is too young for 'discipline' IMO - and I think distraction, ignoring bad behaviour and (most importantly) praising good always works better IMO.
It's hard to give something up when you are only one.
The biting thing will pass eventually if you put him down, no eyecontact, and walk away every single time.

staceym11 · 16/10/2005 21:33

i do the time out method for dd, but as she too young to go somewhere (she one next week) i hold her on my lap for a minute, she soon gets the idea of what she is and what she isnt allowed to do.

first she gets a 'no if you do that again you'll come and sit on mummy's lap because it's naughty'

if she continues she gets picked up and sat on my lap facing away from me and held (arms by sides) until a minute is up

next i turn her around and say 'now your minute is up you can go and play but if you do X again then you will come and sit on mummy's lap'

second time she doesnt get a warning but i explain she will be sitting on my lap for a minute because X is naughty and so on and so forth

the most i have ever (i started this as soon as she could move at 8mth) had to do it was 5/6 times to teach her she isnt allowed to play with the wires to the tv, she still tries sometimes but as soon as i say no she knows to move away.

sorry to ramble, hope this helps!

staceym11 · 16/10/2005 21:35

just relised i already posted on here, i am so blond! lol

justme27 · 20/08/2008 14:20

stacy m11 - thats a really good idea

dd1 turned 1 last week. She does things like turn the tv off and pull at the speakers (speakers only when Daddy is around unsurprisingly as he always says 'no')

I've tried saying no and moving her away from it but she immediately goes back to it.

Might try the lap thing. Agree she is too young to put in a corner etc....

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