When to stop telling your daughter she's beautiful.

[spidermama]

I tell my daughter she's beautiful all the time. She really is. I tell her because when I look at her I'm often overcome by her beauty. My dh is the same.

I'm trying to say it less though because I've noticed her rolling her eyes when I say it and looking uncomfortable. It's as if it gets in the way of the ideas and personality she's trying to express.

Does that make sense to anyone?

i think if my mom told me i was beautiful for no good reason now i would think she was going senile.
but thats probly coz she did tell us lots when we were younger. but now ismore concerned about ensuring inner beauty. iyswim.
i always tell dd and ds's they are beautiful. but they are still littlies.

never never never

everyone has something beautiful about them

Have only skim read the thread ...
But my answer is NEVER to stop ... My parents still tell me I am beautiful and even though I know I am not a stunner it is nice to know that my parents think I am!

Each morning myself and my dh are astounded that two rough stinky wrinkly creatures could produce a creature of such beauty, I am overcome with awe at the beauty shining twinkling before me, and even her breath is that of fairies and princesses. Luckily she thinks we are from the same magical place and who are we to tell her differnt?

I need to add that Finn is the most beautiful girl the world and I love her more than *

Beauty doesn't have to be about appearance.

I try to always tell the kids that what they are doing, or have done, is beautiful, rather than focus on the superficial 'front.'

Beauty is nothing more than what is aesthetic/ pleasing to the eye at that particular moment in time, and, is ultimately, down to genetic luck.

never!

never ever, it's about her being a beautiful person

I still say morning gorgeous girlie (or beautiful or whatever) to my DD every day & she's 16! - think children have so many images of "perfection" thrust at them these days they need to know they're loved for who/what they are.

i'm 33 and my mum still tells me I'm beautiful - even tho it embarrasses them your DD probably loves it underneath!

Of course you should keep telling her she is beautiful, but I think it is worth considering the wider context of how children's physical appearance is handled by those around them (i.e. by non-parents; parents' job is ALWAYS to think their kids are the most gorgeous ever!).

I am close to two little girls (one my neice) who are exceptionally beautiful, and since a very young age they've had a really excessive amount of attention from people on the basis of their looks (I mean being constantly stopped in the street, having grown-ups go on and on and ON about it). Their parents handle it well, but other people can be quite scary. To my mind, these girls are over-aware of the currency their looks give them; it must make them feel that that is the most important thing about them, perhaps the only thing that grown-ups really value. It can't be good for them, or for their less-favoured siblings and friends who see this fuss but don't get it themselves.

This doesn't stop me telling them they're gorgeous, but I do try to keep it balanced with lots of positive feedback about other qualities - like being clever, kind, artistic etc. I think it's horrendous how young our daughters are when they start feeling judged by their physical appearance, and we are all responsible (including non-parents) for building a wider base for their self-esteem than that.