Ds1 probably has ADD. pls tell me some positive things

[thelittlebluepills]

We are in the process of getting ds1 (6) seen professionally and I'm finally admitting to myself that there is a problem

Can anyone recommend any books for me to read or tell me what treatments your dc has had and how effective they are

Feeling very sad about all this

I have ADD and I am fab . I'm also professionally qualified, married with a DD and DS on the way and gainfully empoyed as a director of a medium sized company

OK, so that sounds a bit boastful, but the upside of ADD is that you can be very energetic and productive if you find a way to manage it productively.

It is quite a variable condition and tbh I prefer to think of it as a difference rather than a disorder. What areas does your DS have particular problems with?

I was medicated with Dexamphetamine in my teens, but haven't taken or needed any medication since my early 20s. It was defnitely worth it for me and enabled me to get the qualifications I needed to start my career. Opinions can be divided on whether or not to medicate children, but from my perspective there is no way I would be where I am now if I hadn't been medicated during that period.

As it's been a while I'm not sure what the best current books are, but I found LADDER, the support group quite helpful, if they're still around.

High Littleblue my ds aged 7 is on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment ... expecting a Jan appointment with paed. I have had the last 2 years to prepare myself for this event and now feel really positive about my ds and his condition. He is innovative, funny, confident, caring and great fun to be with. I also very probably have it as can myself in him as a child. I didn't do well at school and left very early. However, with the gift of the gab and loads of energy, I had a great, albeit short, career before embarking on full time motherhood. I travelled the world and lived abroad for a while. I honestly believe that the 'other' part of my capabilities allowed me to do this successfully. Medication is usually only offered to severed cases where children are seriously behind with their peers in terms of education. My ds is bright, but def not the top of the class. I just keep check on his diet and exercise routine .. he has bundles of energy As you haven't mentioned the main areas of concern for your son I'm not sure which books to recommend ....?

Littlebluepills I have the inattentive form of ADD and once you know what the problem is it's fine as you can work round it. Yes it can get tough at times (I get tremendous fatigue slumps, could do with a bit of hyperactivity! I also have dyspraxia so efficiency is not my watchword.) my house is a real mess and I'm horribly disorganised, but I absolutely love that creative dreamy side of me now and am building a career around it. I can make connections and come up with ideas lightning fast and I really enjoy my life and being with small children.

My mother probably has ADHD and she is a wonder, she has been all round the world too and coped amazingly with everything life has thrown at her, has had limitless energy and been able to find solutions for any problem because she always "thinks outside the box".

I have a son on the autistic spectrum and I know well that "is he isn't he" feeling but trust your intuition. I wouldn't have my son any different because his lovely qualities are the flip-side of his problems and his school are being so understanding. There are a few children at the school with ADD and they all seem really happy and accepted by their peers. I have a friend with a nephew with ADHD at a different school and after quite a lot of tweaking he is on a medication regime that has made a huge difference to him and he is doing just fine. The books I have read are all for adults but I just thought I'd post anyway to add my voice to those saying it's not all bad news so don't forget to enjoy your son!

Thank you all SO much for your posts - you have all completely understood what I was worrying about

pushme - it is wonderful to hear that you are successful in so many ways and proud of it - because that's exactly what I need reassurance on - that my son will have all the opportunities and life choices that every child deserves. It's nice to hear from someone who has had medication themselves - I'm already realising that other parents can be so judgemental about medicating children so I think it's more important to listen to people who have had it themselves

coogar hope your DS gets the assistance he needs - interesting that you say you can see yourself in him - I'm beginning to think he shares many of my traits - I always had to sit next to the teacher or on my own to allow me to concentrate - and I was a real chatterbox

fickle it's so nice to hear positive stories - and that's what I want to do - help DS1 celebrate his positive traits and help manage the less helpful ones

The main things we've noticed about DS

Positive stuff
confident
happy
inquisitive
excellent gross motor skills (skateboarding, ball skills etc)
loves junk modelling
loves imaginary play

more worrisome things
constantly talking
always very loud
always interrupting
fidgeting
impatient
doesn't appear to listen
very poor concentration,
at times he can't even make eye contact
you can almost hear his brain buzzing - if he were a teenager I'd be wondering what drugs he'd been taking
occasional "meltdowns" where he is being disobedient and told to sit on the quiet spot (which he rarely actually does) it usually results in him screaming slamming doors and the end result is we drag escort him to his room and hold the door shut whilst he screams shouts kicks the door wrecks his room etc

school are also concerned about his constant talking and inability to concentrate - it's also been a problem in swimming lessons

we are putting together an action plan with school - they are saying that he's too young to refer to the EP but I personally think it's the budgets talking

Forgot to say that he had glue ear from 6 months old and had intermittent hearing loss for the first few years although it seems to be clear now

Get your GP to refer thelittlebluepills. Best of luck, he sounds a lovely creative chap!

My friend has it and is a succesful designer/artist in LA. She's been off Ritalin etc for ages now and doing very well.

Is your son my son? So similar and he had glue ear from a year old too. I really don't think you have anything to worry about - he sounds wonderful.

If it helps I have written book about my experiences with my son who was diagnosed with ADD, ODD, CAPD, and speech and language delay. All these íssues disappeared when we started homeschooling and changed our parenting style so it may help your son too.

Good luck on your journey and you sound like a wonderful mum, and he sounds like a wonderful boy - try not to worry about him just enjoy him exactly as he is!
HTH
Chaley.

Hi, thelittlebluepills, was reading your message and the concerns you have with your son.

We have the same with our DD, whose 5, she has been on a IEP when she was in reception but now she's in year1, she being monitored at the moment. But all those concerns you've written down for your son, are the same we have with our daughter. We have been under a paeds Dr for her sleep but recently, we've been referred back again by the school nurse. Did have our appt but unfortunately the Dr wasn't there but his sidekick was and she felt it was borderline cos in the clinic, our daughter seemed ok but did say that she only saw a snapshot of our DD but going by our story maybe there could be something not right.

But we got to wait for several reviews before a decision is made.

Hope you get somewhere with your DS

Littleblue The reason school may be putting you off the EP route is that he's still quite young .. another year and 'things' may seem clearer. So many ADHD traits exist in small children, it's only as they mature you can really tell which ones are sticking around iyswim. No-one involved with my ds, school, GP etc wanted to look further into his 'issues' until he reached 7. He's now 71/2 and things are moving for us. I would talk with your GP and ask them for a referral, it will be much quicker then anything the schools can do. SENCO will need to be involved by means of form filling etc to support the paed's final dx, if any. FWIW, I cannot read a book (crap concentration), turn straight to the last page if I pick one up, fidget lots and am prone to interrupting others .... bad girl !!

Oh dear, DS has ssoooooooooo many of the traits you guys list, but no one but me has dared to use the ADHD word. I guess I will keep monitoring, but I need to be braced in case anybody "in authority" should use that language.

I have 3 other children who are very different, often complimented on their maturity, quietness and self-restraint. So the hyperactive DS really stands out.