Slow development - when to worry?

[BertieBobbles]

My lo is a little over 10 months - a super happy, relaxed boy who's never had problems sleeping, loves his food and is just an absolute joy. For a long time, most mums hated me! But... he's not crawling, not pulling himself up, and not pushing to sitting from laying down. Honestly, if it weren't for the reactions of other mums I probably wouldn't be at all concerned, but the long line of shocked faces and mock concerned expressions I'm getting is really sowing the seeds of worry. It's probably worse because he's such a big boy (12kg and 80cm) so looks like he should be doing these things. But my questions are... to those who've been through it, when do I worry? How do I help encourage crawling, pulling up etc without being a pushy overbearing mum?

Is he rolling? Does he seem alert? Make good eye contact?
My friend's little boy was the same. He was a very large boy too. Never crawled, just sat and watched most of the time. He decided suddenly to get up and walk around about 1, earlier than most of his little friend's who were crawling around.
If you are worried, it's okay to go and see your gp. It's better than worrying.

DS2 couldn't any of those things at 10 months either, he was quite chubby too. I don't think he crawled til a little over 11 months and started pulling up at about the same time.
He was walking a little after his first birthday and running and jumping soon after.
As long as he was sitting at a reasonable age 6-7 months i wouldn't worry.
Incidentally DS1 was a late crawler too

My DD is 10 months today and not crawling or pulling up either. She rolls, sits up well and is very alert and sociable. I worry a bit that she is not getting around yet, but I see from the red book that you should only really be concerned if they are not moving around by some means by 12 months. I don't think there is too much we can do to make them move - they wil do it when they are ready :-)

It's always best to get things checked out than to worry about it. Do you have any concerns about communication and understanding ? FWIW my ds had no physical delays and I was not worried at 10 months, but other issues became apparent later. Unfortunately typical development is not 100% guaranteed so you won't be wasting anyone's time if you just get an appointment with HV. This is really not meant to sound worrying but I strongly believe in getting any issue affecting development looked at by a professional.

In my head I know I'm overreacting, but when faced with the 'peer pressure' from other mums my heart takes over and I worry! I know he's healthy - he's so interactive, alert, great at socialising with everyone, gets around in his own way by rolling faster than I knew possible, is content and so I am just going to try to relax. If we're still in this boat in a couple of months I think I'll take your advice willowthecat and get it checked out but for now I'm going to try to enjoy just how perfect he is.

Thanks for being reasonable voices everyone!

Having seen the paed nurse just yesterday about development it's true what MoragG says that they expect by a year to see crawling (or some other such way of getting around), pulling up and cruising. But he still has a couple of months, and goodness things change quickly.

I don't think you can encourage it really. Soon he will want to move in order to get where/what he wants. If his favourite toy is out of reach but in eyeline would he maybe attempt to get to it? But of course you don't want him to get upset/frustrated.

Since you've had a good run up to now this must be your first experience of the creased forehead of other mums! If you weren't getting that, would you be worried? If not, just relax, and see how he does in the next few weeks!

He sounds lovely.

if he can roll around why would be bother to crawl?

fwiw my dd2 couldn't sit securely till she was 8 months, didn't move around at all till she was nearly 14 mths and only learned to walk at 21 months (she did have a full set of teeth by the time she could walk though - that was obviously what she was doing the whole time...). but she was a calm, happy little thing, so obviously wasn't bothered that she couldn't sit/crawl/walk. if she had been bothered she would presumably have made more effort.

also, she was big born (9lb 10) and her head was above the 98th centile. even now when you look at her naked she has a big head, a really long body and tiny, short little legs. no wonder it took her so long to learn to balance on them...

and i always knew she was fine. but she was my second, so i didn't have much time to dwell on it...

he sounds quite similar to my ds2 (11 months), he only started crawling a couple of weeks ago at 10.5 months (which is not proper crawling but his own strange version of commando crawl, but can go quite quickly now so seems like it works okay) and still now he's not pulling up on furniture although he loves to stand up but we have to help him, like either hold his hands or place him up holding on the furniture and just stay nearby incase he falls although once we put him there he tends to be okay. also he always stands on his tip toes which seems to make it much harder for him, dont know why he doesnt want to ever put his feet flat..
it is natural to worry a bit when you see all the other babies are doing it earlier but sometimes it takes some children longer than others and i think size is a factor (mine is about same size as yours 80cm and 11.5 kilo) as the smaller or more average sized ones have much less weight to carry it may be easier to balance??
they do it @ their own time, you cant really force them so would just keep encouraging him if he shows an interest, and try not to worry that much cos even in a couple of weeks he may do it? if he is a v good roller maybe he just does not see the need for crawling as he already has a suitable method of travelling?
i would say just try to make sure you get a 1 yrs check for him if he is still not doing these things @ age 1, then atleast you can get a professional opinion about it? thats what i think i will do for mine.

these things happen almost overnight and there's nothing you can do to encourage it to happen any earlier. my ds2 was late sitting, rolling etc, didn't crawl until about 13 months, but once he started, within a couple of weeks was pulling himself up, cruising and climbing stairs. peer pressure is ridiculous and people can get quite smug about it, as if it's something they've done and it's their excellent parenting (usually followed by a rude awakening when they have other dcs who have different ideas!)

I completely agree about how ridiculous the peer pressure can be and I'm slightly cross with myself for letting it get to me. I should also mention that we're currently living in Hong Kong where the competition around these things is taken to a whole new level. This is the town where our 6 month olds can start multi-lingual school and if I wanted my little guy to be assured a place at the best school in town for 4 year olds he needed to be on the waiting list when I was pregnant!

Just ignore all the competative parenting! The brightest chap i know laid flat til he was 21 months. He is average co-ordination wise now aged 8 but has the language and academic skills of an 11 year old!

Mine were slow to do most physical things too but I was relieved not to be run ragged chasing a small chld with no common sence.