Timid toddler

[tethersend]

I took DD(23mo) to playgroup this afternoon.

She used to be fine with other children up until a few months ago; now she screams and cries whenever she sees someone she doesn't know, adult or child. She is so timid and terrified and I am so disappointed and wonder if I've made her this way by not pushing her to socialise more. I work part time and my mother looks after her and she really only ever sees a couple of friend's kids- nearly all of her time is spent with me, daddy or granny. She was utterly miserable yesterday when we met a friend for lunch and fell to pieces today.

I am so proud of her, she is really clever and happy at home but no-one else ever sees how much fun she is or hears her amazing vocabulary because she is so painfully shy.

Should I be pushing her to socialise more or is this a phase and I should wait until she's ready?

Has anyone else had similar experience?

Is she going to start play group soon?

I haven't taken her for a few months, but the plan now is to take her every week to get her used to it. But I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do?

Gah. She's just such a wimp

I think that's a good idea, especially if she is going to start going to play school soon. She sounds lovely BTW. Its so hard, my DS is the other way.....its just as annoying if not worse!

I look at children like your DS with envy as I'm trying to peel a screaming sobbing DD from my neck just because another child walked near her or an adult said "hello"

I look at children like yours and think ahhhh, how nice they arn't hugging other children to the floor, running around over excited! Or on other days not sharing, getting cross that little people have broken 'my' train set etc etc etc. We have a few friends whos children sound like yours and I worry DS upsets them sometimes but I ahev to say that since turning 3 they haev really come out of themselves and are much more confident. Honestly us mums will never be happy!

sorry 'have' :)

my ds is somewhere in between - my advice would be to gradually widen her social circle in a way she feels is safe and secure, and unthreatening. e.g. have one or two new people over to your house and then move onto bumping into them somewhere, provide loads of opportunities for her to get used to people but without feeling something is expected of her. my ds is ok with other children but looks appalled and sometimes screams if adults talk to him. it is normal i think, and with gentle guidance she will get better. i certainly wouldnt do anything drastic like leave her on her own at a group until you know she has a few more socail skills to help her along.

My DS used to be very similar with other children, he was fine with adults. I used to keep taking him to places where he would see other children, but not have to interact with them, and make sure he knew I would always be with him, eg local playground, and parent led toddler group. Was very hard, as he used to cry and ask to stay at home when he knew we were going out, but he did come round to the idea that playing near other children (with me there) was ok eventually. He is now 3.6 and goes to a small playgroup, and is happy there (as he had got to know the children and the staff very well).

Thanks for reassurance

We go to the playground pretty much every day and she's fine there; I will keep taking her to playgroup and try and see some other children.

swc, where is your thread? Glad it's not just me, although I hope they sort it out soon