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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Bathing WITH kids - opinions needed

35 replies

MrsWood · 14/09/2005 12:57

At what stage is no longer appropriate to bath WITH your kids - our dd (2.2) loves when one of us is in the bath with her so we occassionaly get in with her, but my dh and I are worried in case she starts asking too many questions - or worse, telling people about it which may lead to a wrong conclusion etc. I've asked my dh to wear swim shorts when he's in the bath with her but then she wants to do the same etc. so he avoids bathing with her now. When I go in with her, she just points and says "boobies" and "pee pee" and that's that, but quite often she wants daddy to go in and we just mummble something about daddy already having had a bath. She's not too fussed but may get a little confussed as to why daddy doesn't want to bath with her anymore... It'll be so much easier when she has a brother or sister to play alongside her in the bath...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NomDePlume · 14/09/2005 12:59

MrsWood, I wouldn't worry about them bathing together until your child is too big to fit in the bath with either parent ! I should think that your DD will let you know when she is happy for the group bathing to stop, but 2.2 doesn't strike me as 'too old'.

Poshpaws · 14/09/2005 13:02

I agree with NomdePlume.

I still have the odd bath with DS1, who has just turned 4. He likes having baths with me.

I felt quite sad the last time we had a bath together as I thought that soon he will probably not want to bath with me anymore . He starts school in January.

Thomcat · 14/09/2005 13:03

My DD is 4 at the end of the year and we still bath with her. It's more me that baths with her and I'm going off it as she won't let me stretch my legs out! She seems to prefer baths on her own nowadays so she's dictating stopping it to us really.

triceratops · 14/09/2005 13:04

ds loves to bath and shower with us. He is 4. We are pretty relaxed about nakedness in our house, bodies are bodies and there is nothing pervy about being bare.

You just stick with what you are comfortable with, don't let the possible opinions of others freak you out.

Enid · 14/09/2005 13:06

dd1 is nearly 6 and she has had baths with dh up until quite recently, I think they have both gone off the idea a bit

Enid · 14/09/2005 13:07

she still has baths with me though usually when I have sneaked off to have a nice deep hot one

Original poster

MrsWood · 14/09/2005 13:13

Oh, what a relief! I honestly tought I was wrong for letting her see our "bits" - phew!

THANKS!

OP posts:

Easy · 14/09/2005 13:16

ds (6) baths with me at least once a week, and with daddy whenever the opoortunity arises.

I don't see anything wrong with it, and no doubt we'll continue until it's physically impossible.

Anchovy · 14/09/2005 13:17

Every Saturday evening DS (3.11) and I have our bubbly bath together in the big bath in the grown up bathroom while DH baths DD (1.11). We have the radio on, usually a water pistol or two and see if we can break our own bubble record by whipping up foam with the spray attachment. We make bubble clothes, sing a few songs, fire off the water pistol and generally talk about anything and everything. I think if you are embarassed about your bits, foam is the answer. We are very matter of fact about it and Ds has lost interest really - more interested in the water pistol and the thought of a bubble hat!

NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2005 13:17

I look forward to DS1 being unhappy to see his parents' bits ... as that means I might get to go to the loo uninterrupted once in a while.

Heathcliffscathy · 14/09/2005 13:19

dh or i bath with ds everynight and will stop when he wants us to....far from being wrong in any way i think it's lovely.

Aragon · 14/09/2005 13:19

DS (2.5) loves getting in the bath with me. He long ago learnt the words "nipples" and "boobies". The only bad thing here is that in the local cafe a few months back the waitress (who always greets him like a long lost friend)got her boobs groped and DS shouted "BOOBIES" at the top of his voice - thankfully it was DH with him and not me.

Original poster

MrsWood · 14/09/2005 13:21

Well, this is all great news to us as we're not hungup about our genitals, but thought that in this day and age it might be unappropriate in case she says to someone "I've seen daddy's pee pee" and they take it the wrong way and we end up being visited by social services or whatever! LOL

OP posts:

Bozza · 14/09/2005 13:26

Wouldn't worry like most others have said. And would ditch the swim shorts for DH since that seems to be causing additional complications. I was wandering about my bedroom naked this morning and DD (16 months) was following me around trying to press my nipple. I think she assumes that I will work like one of her toys and suddenly start singing twinkle twinkle or jump up in the air. Not much chance at that time of day.

scotlou · 14/09/2005 13:27

My dh had a routine up to a couple of months ago of bathing with both of them (dd 3 and ds 5). dd had a habit of grabbing dh's "bits" if she lost her balance and both kids are inetrested in male / female bits - but I still don't see the harm in it now. He hasn't bathed them for a while simply as their routine has changed.

Bozza · 14/09/2005 13:27

I wouldn't worry really MrsWood. She may embarass you at some point - in fact you'll be lucky if she doesn't because kids are good at that.

morningpaper · 14/09/2005 13:32

I think it promotes a positive body image. I like having my dd (3) comfortable with our bodies and bits and our flabby parts - it gives her an idea of what a real woman/man looks like and I think it makes her more comfortable with her own body. One of us baths with her most nights.

And it saves water!

motherinferior · 14/09/2005 13:44

I love the picture of the Anchovy household.

PeachyClair · 14/09/2005 14:05

DS3 will climb in with me sometimes and it's lovely, but although DH loved to bath with DS1 when he was little, he became worried that people would get funny and stopped . It was such a shame: we would all go up, chat, splash and have a lovely time. We have a gorgeous photo, and DH keeps it away again, incase people get funny. Sad, stupid world sometimes

Redtartanlass · 14/09/2005 14:33

My DS1 (20 year old) will still wander into the bathroom if i'm having a bath, he always knocks and I can cover my 'minnie' with a face cloth or bubbles. But I've not seen his bits since he was about 7 and became surprisingly modest.

Reading that back, it sounds a bit strange but its not meant to..IYKWIM

sweetheart · 14/09/2005 14:34

my dd is 5 and she has a bath with dh most evenings. I can't see it changing in the near future.

Easy · 14/09/2005 14:35

it's sad that we let our affectionate relationships with our children be curtailed, or at least affected by what other people may think.

we are entering a big-brother phase I think (the book, not the telly series)

MaloryTowers · 14/09/2005 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magnolia1 · 14/09/2005 15:26

I am 31 and recently went on holiday with my parents. My dad forgot to lock the door and I went in while he was sitting on the loo

He wasn't phased in the slightest and I just said 'oops sorry dad' and went back out. No embarrasment or anything!!

The whole time I lived at home my mum and dad would not make extra effort to cover up unless we had friends staying

I have been bought up without ever having a lock on the bathroom door and we don't have locks now I have my own house and children.

Dh is a bit more inclined to cover up although he doesn't make a big deal of it if one of the girls walk in the bedroom while he is changing.

magnolia1 · 14/09/2005 15:28

Forgot to add, dh doesn't bathe with the kids but only coz our bath is not huge and he is 6'6" tall and big built so no room for extra people

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