please help?- im horrified....

[mjkthorpe]

at msyelf....
my dd is starting new swimming lessons which means she has to put her face in water- we got her some goggles and she practised in the bath yesterday when she did it fine no problems.

tried again tonight and she wasnt concentrating or listening so opened her mouth and swallowed water- i have just sat in the bathroom with her in the bath getting her to listen and do it again as she was making herself panic-badly.

I ended up screaming at her because she just wouldn't listen and kept making up excuses.
story cut short she finally did it but im dreading her swimmingt lesson tomorrow or the next time.

I hate myself for screaming at her. i know i scared her.

what do i do?

well I don't know how old she is but I would:

-do something to calm myself down (cup of tea or step outside and take some deep breaths)
-say sorry
-try and work out why you're stressed.

it sounds like it is not typical of the way you relate to her so something must be different.

but remember losing it with dcs is normal. Undesirable, but normal; there are very few perfect parents.

Short of turning back time I'm not sure there's much you can do tbh. She was scared already because of swallowing water, then you scared her some more by getting angry at her. I'd just say "do your best" when you take her to the lesson and leave it at that.

oh and if you cannot practise it without getting stressed, just leave it - she doesn't have to practise every day.

shell be 7 in nov.

i know i have apologised but she says its stuck in her head.

i feel so awful.

im not usually like it- sometimes i lose my temper but never like that. i think its just this week shes done a lot of hands over ears etc and im the only one with a job- its just hard but thats no excuse.

i dont know how to not lose my temper

look, don't beat yourself up, because if losing it badly is something that happens so rarely you are shocked by it, you're doing better than a lot of us frankly.

thanks

im just gonna have to hope she forgets about it...