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Original poster

Dummy or no dummy?

234 replies

Empress · 11/09/2005 14:11

What's the current opinion on using a dummy? When I had my babies I thought they weren't good for them, so we never used them. Has that changed now? Are they in or out of fashion?

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dinosaur · 13/09/2005 15:07

None of the DSs have had one. With DS1, I didn't need one - as a small baby, he was very easy - he would not object to being left alone and would settle himself to sleep very easily. I do think, looking back, that that was quite a lot to do with the fact that he was on the autistic spectrum though.

DS2 - didn't, but I wish I'd had the sense to try one, because he did use me as a human dummy for a looooooong time. But I was kind of busy dealing with other issues, especially all his treatment for clubfoot, and it just never occurred to me (those were my pre-mumsnet days!).

DS3 - tried one with him, he spat it out, wasn't interested, and didn't really need one.

So more by accident than design, we've been dummy-less all the way through.

bundle · 13/09/2005 15:09

btw, my girls only had dummies from about 9 months

Wordsmith · 13/09/2005 15:11

Dummies are right up there with breastfeeding, cloth nappies and childcare on the list of things other people think they have the right to judge you on as a mother.

Personally I think dummies are great. I've just stuck one in the mouth of my whinging 18m old and he's shut up. Unfoirtunately I can't use a boob to do that ATM cos I'm just about to do the school run.

Didn't know there was a 'fashion' for them - some people love 'em, some hate 'em. My mum thinks they look 'common', but then she's a self-professed snob.

aloha · 13/09/2005 15:12

Saw in Grazia today that Sarah Jessica Parker bought a 99p dummy from Boots last week!
And I know that Jemima Kahn used them with her kids. So not that common!

spidermama · 13/09/2005 15:43

The Great Dummy Debate

And now I need to get off mumsnett as my non-dummy using baby is stuffing more sodden paper into his mouth. (ahem!)

saadia · 13/09/2005 16:04

Personally I'm not keen on dummies and didn't use them for my dss. Don't know about the fashion though - don't see how that is relevant.

marthamoo · 13/09/2005 16:11

Interesting link, spidermama. Personally I agree with every word Leah Hardy writes. Funny that. I'm sure I've read the odd thing by her before .

starlover · 13/09/2005 16:18

i haven't read this whole thread but thought i would add my 2pence worth

ds has a dummy. he has used it from 2 days old. he was bottle fed AND use dummy until he was 10 days old when he started breastfeeding

we then successfully breastfed, bottle fed and used dummy with no problems

why do people think they have a right to tell us that a dummy is "revolting" or anything else...? It's one of many parenting choices, that you may or may not agree with... we all make them, every day...

starlover · 13/09/2005 16:19

marthamoo... didn't notice the author on that one til you said!!!! haha

weesaidie · 13/09/2005 16:38

I am glad you weren't offended Spidermamma but I would have been, even just on your behalf!

Just as I find the word revolting describing dummies slightly offensive. But nobody noticed when I asked you about it a few hours ago!

bosscat · 13/09/2005 16:46

think both beckham boys had them too although don't think that's necessarily a good thing! sarah jessica though is another style matter altogether!

still don't believe its anything to do with a "mother substitute" though, sorry Roxswood. It may be shaped like your nipple but mine are nothing like that even after breastfeeding Also what shape would you expect it to be? It goes in the mouth so its going to be small and round. The implication that somehow offering oneself to a child on a 24/7 basis makes you a better parent is flawed. But if it works for you then great. I'm bringing my children up to be independent and that works for me.

starlover · 13/09/2005 16:47

ditto bosscat! if my nipples looked like ds's dummy then i would be VERY worried!

aloha · 13/09/2005 16:48

You should all be pleased yuo are getting it for free

hey ho.

Just ordered the most amusing crocodile pinata and am v pleased with self.

hunkermunker · 13/09/2005 16:50

The independence/always there for your child thing as opposites is a fallacy IMO.

weesaidie · 13/09/2005 16:52

also having a dummy is revolting is a fallacy IMO

hunkermunker · 13/09/2005 16:53

Not in quite the same way though, WS

bosscat · 13/09/2005 16:53

The muesli-belt of middle class motherhood. I love it!

bosscat · 13/09/2005 16:54

HM, what do you mean?

hunkermunker · 13/09/2005 16:57

I have heard said that if you are always there for your child, then you will have clingy children.

I think that's a fallacy.

hunkermunker · 13/09/2005 16:58

Not explained it properly, I don't think - will think more on it and post again later if I get a mo.

bosscat · 13/09/2005 17:03

So do I. Have you read Roxswood's posts of Monday 2.41pm, 7.24pm and 8.23 pm? Who said anything about clingy? Roxswood says she offered herself as comfort, I say I offered the ability to self soothe. One is independent, one is not! I'm certainly not saying she will produce a more clingy child than mine, which I think would be physically impossible as mine is attached to my leg surgically ....

weesaidie · 13/09/2005 17:06

lol, I know HM but i just couldn't resist

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 13/09/2005 19:40

My dd sucked her thumb within hours of being born so I gave her a dummy.Now 22 mths later she loves it.She is using it less and less during the day and if we are out she will hand it to me.But come bedtime,she loves it and its not really been a problem except when she drops it in the car while I am driving, we have to have three spares on the dashboard.

She is giving it to Father Christmas this year and I know we will have tears but I dont like to see them with them beyond about 2

Amai · 13/09/2005 19:46

Yes.

Amai · 13/09/2005 19:47

(Dummy that is!)