Dummy or no dummy?

[Empress]

What's the current opinion on using a dummy? When I had my babies I thought they weren't good for them, so we never used them. Has that changed now? Are they in or out of fashion?

[bosscat]

thats a good idea chocolate peanut, we too are getting rid in January which is ds1's birthday (not saying how old as it would make me queen of the bad mothers club) and all I could come up with was "we are giving it to the poor children who can't buy their own" which doesn't even make sense!

[CHOCOLATEPEANUT]

bosscat,i prob will be in the bad mothers club as yeas its a good idea but i will have to resist her when the tears start and thats not easy when they love it soooooooo much

You just have to see her with them,they are her favourite thing.

[Amai]

My dd love her dummies too, ChocPeanut, she always finds one when i think there aren't any within her reach. When she gets two she puts one in her mouth and stares lovingly at the other and then puts that one in her mouth. She also animates them so it looks like they are talking to each other .

[CHOCOLATEPEANUT]

Glad to hear mine isnt the only one that does that...

Also if she looses it and I find it, I hold it in the air and she runs across the house with her mouth open to grab it!

When shes tired it quivers in her mouth, so cute!

Oh god I know I am going to fail come Christmas and she will be sucking it on the way to school!

[Amai]

Like Maggie off the simpsons!

[CHOCOLATEPEANUT]

Yes!!

And by god do they have to be the right ones.Picked up the wrong sort once and she spat it out so fast it flew across the floor at 100mph

[Empress]

never mind dummies, what's a crocodile pinata??!

[cinderelly]

my dd is nearly 3 and still has hers. I hate it, especially when she talks with it in her mouth. I hid all the dummies in the house one day (which was a challange and a half)and it was like she was a 50 a day smoker coming off a nicotine habit! I just havent got it in me to be stick with it. They do come in handy though to shut her up.

[cinderelly]

p.s/ she's got a lisp too and I wonder if the dummy contibutes to this. Anyone else's the same?

[mummymojo]

I didn't intend to use a dummy with my first - but when he started sucking his arms giving himself lovebites! I gave in.
We found the best method by accident to wean him off aged 22 months - we lost the dummy and I didn't have any spares - everytime he asked for it I said we've lost it where is it? He say dunno, start looking & then forget about it - this lasted two weeks - & we've never looked back -even when his baby brother started using a dummy

[aloha]

Google crocodile pinata and you'll find one! It's for ds's birthday on Saturday. It really makes me laugh. And you fill it with sweets which has to be worse for his teeth than a dummy!

[Tortington]

whatever floats your babies boat and yours

[moosh]

Both mine had them ds1(now 5 yrs) gave it to me at 3 (but stopped having it during the day at 2.5yrs when he began nursery) and never had another. Ds2 18 months and still sucking it strong, but will not let him have it in the day when he starts nursery in Feb next year. Never interfered with their teeth (ds2 has 18 straight teeth.) Both talk really well and began saying words quite early on,ds1 would take his dummy out to have a chat and then would pop it back in when he had finished. Ds2 the same.
But then I'm the sort of mad person who isn't really bothered what people think of me letting my kids have dummies. They don't have them forever ds1 now at school hasn't had one for 2.5 yrs and fingers crossed ds2 will give it to me to keep forever round about the same age.
I sucked my fingers and never gave them up till I was 13yrs!!!! My friend who is same age as me now 34yrs STILL sucks her thumb . My 5 yr old looked so shocked when he saw her he fell off the sofa in fits of laughter.!!!

[mumfor1sttime]

I took one into hospital with me when I had DS, he used it first few weeks.I think it was more for my benefit though- to stop him crying! I didnt always know why he was crying in first few weeks. I stopped him using it at around 2 months old, probably when I got to learn why he was crying!
He is 8 months now, and sucks his thumb in bed/when tired, I dont mind dummies, think they are useful in the early days.
I was in superdrug the other day and a girl age 4-5 in a pushchair was 'choosing' a dummy for herself! (cringe) She also had a bottle, (even bigger cringe).

[LaitDAmour]

No dummy, encourage breastfeeding when baby needs comforting, that way he/she will grow at the same time.

[LilacLotus]

DD never had a dummy. we did try to give her one but she never wanted it. my family in belgium were all shocked to see a baby without one.

[SHIDA]

unfortunatley i cant see what all the fuss is about who is the adult here - if u just throw all dummies away when u think they should no longer have one - where oh where are they likely to get another one unless u give it to them - i did just that one my dd 2nd birthday and it was a doddle - no tantrums when she asked for dummy just distracted with something else

[SHIDA]

well done - peachy !!!! i think as parents if we do not set the ground rules then who will - if no is said in a way which is understood to be non- negotiable then there is no problem - its all a form a discipline - and its true we are too soft these days i for one am as guilty as the next -

[PeachyClair]

I'm not, I'm a mean old cow . DS1 ignores me anyeway as he has authority issues (AS), but the rest i think consider me to be a right stickler! They still ignore me tho. Don't think my voice is as authoritative as it should be. Probably a good thing, they'd be forever tidying up / eating up / or asleep otherwise

[Granard]

I think it's actually cruel to give a baby a dummy which they subsequently become very attached to as a source of comfort only to turn round within a couple of years and remove it from them because the parents decide it doesn't look right for an older child to have one. Inevitably the parents use them to make their lives easier but then there's the trauma of taking it away generally accompanied by words like "you're a big girl/boy now, you don't need it anymore, you have to give it to.....santa/dustman/whatever," thereby making the child feel bad about wanting to hang on to something they've become dependent on as a source of comfort. It's doing your child a dis-service to create that dependency in the first place.

[lisawithtwogirls]

They call them comforters or pacifiers in the US and I think that's a much better descpription. Both my daugthers had them. The first just handed it back when she was about 2 and said she didn't need it. The other was 4 in January and she just has it at bed-time and it falls out when she goes to sleep. She's more stubborn than her big sister. We tried forcing her to give up her milk bottle and for a year we couldn't get her to drink any milk except on cereal. In the end my mother said, "why don't you just give her the bottle back". So she's 4 and a half and has a dummy at bedtime and a bottle. I'm sure she'll have given them both up before she's 16!

[furrpurr]

Cant't believe some of the comments by people who say dummies should/should not be used in this, that or the other situation. Who wrote the definitive handbook on this? It is not against the law! It is a PERSONAL CHOICE to use a dummy or not, that is the point.

My eldest would not have a dummy but my youngest is nearly three and a half and still loves hers. I will not take it off her because I still remember clearly the trauma of being parted from my dummy (OK, I WAS 5, the shame..) but I developed this wierd habit of sucking my tongue instead which I still do at the age of 38. I am the only person I know who does this so obviously I am very odd and my opinion should therefore probably be discounted.

[PeachyClair]

furrpurr- suck my thumb too!! But I never had a dummy.

Granard- yes, taking a dummy away like that COULD be cruel, but had DS3 objected I'd have reconsidered, we just used a LOT of distraction for a day or so. Trust me, one eyelid flutter from DS3 and I've have given him fifty!!!!

[weesaidie]

My dd has hardly noticed not having her dummy except for naps. I did try to limit use during the day but it is still a difference. Yet she seems fine! Bit worried about taking it away for naps but she has always been a good sleeper so I doubt she will be too upset!