Dummy or no dummy?

[Empress]

What's the current opinion on using a dummy? When I had my babies I thought they weren't good for them, so we never used them. Has that changed now? Are they in or out of fashion?

[marthamoo]

I did, spidermama (sucked my thumb 'til I was about 12). I had one of those braces with elastic bands - used to ping them across the classroom when I got bored.

[weesaidie]

I know you didn't ask me but I didn't get buck teeth from thumb sucking.

I do have an underbite (I think) or I did until I had major orthodontal work! I don't think it was thumb sucking that did it (not according to my dentist) but not sure!

[Ericblack]

I was far too vain and avoided teeth pushing.

[marthamoo]

Oh you didn't ask me either but that's never stopped me before

[SenoraPostrophe]

I sucked my fingers until I was 10 (I bit my thumb apparently). no buck teeth.

dd sucks her thumb still.

[SenoraPostrophe]

i do have shorter fingers on that hand though.

[Ericblack]

By the way, although thumb sucking can be a choice for a child it can also be a "choice". My friend's husband always held his baby son in such a way that it was strongly suggested that he suck his fingers and it worked a treat.

[lovecloud]

I dont have a problem with dummys, i tried to make my dd use one when she would not drink from a bottle but she just could not keep it in her mouth so I gave up. I had a dummy until I was 5!!!! I know terrible, but I would just have a quick suck when no-one was looking.

You can take a dummy from a child but you cant take their thumbs??!!

My dd never got the hang of sucking a dummy and she does not suck her thumb which is handy. If you can get away with it then it makes your life easier, my sil has such trouble with her little one constantly waking up because his dummy fell out.

[trinityrocks]

Quite upset by the almost argument that is going on here. It is a fact that non-nutrative sucking is benificial to small babies and that some need it more than others. If anyone were to infer that my baby sucks her thumb because I don't give her enough love then I think I would have to "politely ask them to leave my vicinity" he he he

[Rarrie]

Wow! An interesting debate. Just to throw a few more ideas into the pot (and these are just my views, not judging anyone else!) I think Dummies shouldn't just be dammed as sometimes they can be quite useful!

In my experience, the dummy has actually helped breastfeeding. I struggled with breastfeeding for 12 weeks, found it very painful and was close to giving up, because my daughter wanted to suckle all day and it was making me engorged (not the normal type - it couldn't be relieved though normal means, so I was constantly engorged for weeks!) and the midwife suggested the dummy, which gave my boobs a break and allowed me to continue breastfeeding. Overnight it went from being a chore I dreaded to a bonding experience both my DD and I enjoyed. We continued bfeeding until she chose to give up at about 18/19 months (and she didn't have a bottle until after weaning at 6 months!) Far from being evil, it was my saviour!

Also in Holland, they actually recommend dummies for small babies. Some research shows that the constant sucking at night helps to combat SIDS. Obviously the alternative is to co-sleep, but personally I didn't want to take the risk. (And, yes despite what Dr Sears et al say, there is a higher risk of death for co sleeping babies. The thing I find most worrying about it is when I go on the AP boards, (yes I am AP inclined) how many of the mums take so many risks, like co sleeping on sofas, or when they smoke, or have had a drink, or use duvets, or place the baby between two adults...If you want copies of the research, you can have it... but that is a different debate!)

Whilst I agree that a dummy is not aesthetically pleasing, I find it a weak argument against using them, because what that argument boils down to is

[SleepySuzy]

Rox, all I can find is "three in a bed" by Carmen Reid

[SleepySuzy]

Sorry - found it on Amazon.

[Ericblack]

I think two in the bed is better. Me and my baby. Spare room for husband. Baby started sleeping through the night months ago but he doesn't need to know..

[SleepySuzy]

lol

[spidermama]

Ericblack. Shhhhhhh!

[sausagedog]

DS2 has just started reception & still has a dummy at night! There, I said it!!

[dollybird]

I wanted to use a dummy with my ds but dh didn't want one so persevered and v.glad didn't use one now - one less thing to wean off! DD has sucked her thumb since the day she was born - still does now but only when she's tired. Don't think she sucks hard enough to affect her teeth but she does have a sore thumb.

[poglepuss]

I used dummies with great success (at comfort and peace!) for the first few months ... but dd has just dicovered her thumb at 5 months old, and now I never see her without it in her mouth. My mw actually told me it's better to use a dummy as you can get rid of them but not of thumbs (had a gruesome image there - soooo inappropriate, lol!).
Posted by Poglepuss (who made her Mumsnet debut a week ago then went awol for a week visiting the family and will probably be remembered by noone, boo hiss).

[sausagedog]

DD3 sucks her thumb. When she was born she had a small patch of skin missing on the back of each hand where she'd been sucking whilst in the womb.

She's now 16mths and is the best sleeper of the lot. She can't wait to get in her cot with her special ted, she holds onto teds label and in goes the thumb!

I am slightly worried about her teeth though. I was a devoted thumbsucker until about 9 and then spent many years in braces. Glad to read on this thread that this is not an inevitable consequence

[dollybird]

I suppose it depends on how hard they suck, sausagedog. My dd doesn't seem to suck that hard although does have the sore patch, but that's on the nail side ie bottom teeth so don't know!

[sausagedog]

aviatrix, got to say I didnt wait for DD3 to find her thumb, I b/f her, but inbetween feeds when she cried I held her in such a way that her thumb/hand was close to her mouth.

Dont think I would have lasted with the b/f otherwise!

[OldieMum]

Roxswood says "I have a wonderful supportive husband who has enabled me to parent the way I wanted to do and I know that others don't have this. I also know that not everyone would choose to give up everything for their child for this beginning time but I think of it as an investment." This is one of the most smug, self-righteous statements I have ever read on MN.

I love my daughter dearly. I went through 6 cycles of IVF to get her. I have cared for her attentively and lovingly for almost three years now. She is developing into an intelligent, loving child. The idea that I somehow care for her less than you care for your child, or that I have 'invested' in her less, because I have given her a dummy, is offensive.

Get a grip, girls, we're talking about a little piece of plastic.

[Empress]

Well i certainly started something here! does it make a difference if the child is breast or bottle fed? Do you think a child who's bottle fed only needs a dummy cos they don't have 'the real thing' ? (my kids were breast fed btw, it's just a question!)

[spidermama]

It's only offensive if you think there's a grain of truth in it surely OM.
Would you find it offensive if she had said, 'I feel dummies are a gateway to drug addiction and prostitution' would you still have been offended?