Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Is it normal for a child to talk about oral sex?

58 replies

Marbles2 · 01/08/2010 18:37

Just asking, because I informed the mum about it and she has gone mental against... me.

I know she leaves her child, frequently overnight, under the care of single men. So I thought it was a good idea to let her know about what her child mentioned to mine, just in case something was going on.

She has gone ballistic, accused me of trying to ruin her happiness with lies. Family thinks this kind of talk is normal between children but is it? Do 8 year olds talk about oral sex?

I think I did the right thing by telling her, but did I?

OP posts:

LIZS · 01/08/2010 18:39

As parent of a 8yo - NO

EccentricaGallumbits · 01/08/2010 18:41

no - not normal

Tortoise · 01/08/2010 18:41

No they don't.
I would be concerned about this child and maybe report to SS.

Northernlurker · 01/08/2010 18:42

No this is not normal. I think you should ring social services as well.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 01/08/2010 18:43

No, it's not normal. Children do pick up alot of things at school though, my ds now knows all about condoms/dealing drugs etc thanks to the children at his old school.

Her mother's gone completely OTT though, 'ruining her happiness with lies', worrying really.

ThatVikRinA22 · 01/08/2010 18:43

alarm bells ringing loud and clear im afraid.

Hassled · 01/08/2010 18:44

Yes, you did the right thing by telling her, and no, it is not normal for an 8 year old to even know what oral sex is. The mother's anger at you will subside - she's probably more furious with herself and this is some sort of knee-jerk reaction. You did the right thing - but you also need to call the NSPCC for advice.

Original poster

Marbles2 · 01/08/2010 18:48

Now, would you allow your child to go and play at the house of this child unsupervised if your child has been complaining the other child tries to kiss him? He likes the child, but I am concerned... actually, I thought it was all innocent until I heard the oral sex part... gosh...

OP posts:

ThatVikRinA22 · 01/08/2010 18:50

do what hassled suggested. phone nspcc. and no id not let my children go and play there, id have their child over to mine but not the other way round.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 01/08/2010 18:51

I'd give the NSPCC a call. Children do say the most stupidly inappropriate things though, ds once asked his friend if he wanted to kiss his bum and his willy in an attempt to make him laugh I think it depends on the level of the child's knowledge and the language to be honest.

Original poster

Marbles2 · 01/08/2010 18:54

Child was telling DS about a game of "sucking each other willies". DS said he was very embarrased. I don't think they have played the game but I thought she might need to check where that thing came from.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 01/08/2010 18:55

what single men? Do you mean her relatives? Friends?

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 01/08/2010 18:57

That's very worrying Marbles. I'd give the NSPCC a call, they are very helpful.

DorotheaPlenticlew · 01/08/2010 18:58

What are the circs that make her leave her child frequently overnight with these 'single men' -- I mean, who are the men?

What do you think is making her react with seemingly ludicrous talk about her happiness and you wanting to ruin it?

All very worrying, please tell us you've reported

PixieOnaLeaf · 01/08/2010 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

aegeansky · 01/08/2010 19:00

No no, no! - RED FLAG

Original poster

Marbles2 · 01/08/2010 19:07

I'm all confused between the advice, I have already talked to the NSPCC, obviously they asked me to ring Social Services. Child's family insists this is natural in children.

Problem is, this child is the son of my ex's partner. If I don't let my child go to them, I could be accused of blocking contact. Having said that, my ex got so annoyed at the message that has decided to stop contact with DS. Although I understand this may be a knee jerk reaction.

Ex was also supposed to take DS on holiday with him this week, but decided to leave him behind. Obviously, DS has been very upset about it all. DS is blaming the other child for keeping kissing him, blaming his dad for being mean, and blaming me for letting them know about the game, but in no moment DS has gone back on what he said, so I think is safe to assume DS has not lied about it.

OP posts:

cece · 01/08/2010 19:11

No it is not normal for children to know about oral sex.

You know you must report this don't you?

cece · 01/08/2010 19:12

You are the adult and you have to act to protect this other child and your DS. How would you feel if something terrible has been happening or does happen and you know you could have stopped it, but didn't.

Gigantaur · 01/08/2010 19:13

It is very NOT normal. And her reaction to it is very concerning also. Most mothers would be horrified if they found out their children were talking in such a way.

Please report the incident to SS. They will take this very seriously.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 01/08/2010 19:14

It sounds like they are brushing it under the carpet, someone has to ensure that this child is safe. I've had to do this for a child of the family, it's hard, someone has to be the responsible adult though. If nothing is going on then that's good, it's better to act though.

Tell ds that it's not always easy to do the right thing but there are times when someone has to be brave and do what's right.

Original poster

Marbles2 · 01/08/2010 19:17

My ex is now accusing me of "damaging DS", obviously they don't believe either DS or I...

OP posts:

thedollyridesout · 01/08/2010 19:17

Young children can easily hear of these things from stupid older children or siblings.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 01/08/2010 19:18

Are you going to listen to him or do something to protect this child? Lord knows what else is going on

Gigantaur · 01/08/2010 19:24

marbles - i am a SW and i am telling you it is not natural and that this is indeed something that you must inform SS of.

it may be that they have overheard something from school or other adults but that is for SS to find out.
your job is only to report what you know.

IF your Ex decides to be a prick about contact then thats his look out

Flip

1 2 3