front bottom, vaj, fanny or c**t?

[readinginbed]

Front bottom: too twee
fanny, vaj, all the rest: too sexual
vagina, vulva: NO WAY, TOO TEXT BOOK

What's the happy medium?

fanny in our house (she called it a funny for a while) I have told her the grown up names just as the grown up name for daddy's winkie (her word, with a house of girls we don't discuss them much) is a penis.
dd is 3.5

Name it after somebody you don't like.

Littlejohn?

DH/DS have Willy and Nuts
I have pubes but we haven't had to do any more human biology than that yet... will probably go for 'fanny' when the time comes

why would you associate your foo-foo with someone or thing you don't like!?

we go for vagina here i'm afraid, for the hwole female genirtal area, factually incorrect, but 'gak' at alternatives. we're very factual. if i'm feeling frivilous it's a foo-foo.

I have no desire to name my vagina after Piers Morgan.

lady bits or girl bits here.

Very much not keen on all the cutesy names (fifi, twinkle, foofoo), for reasons I can't quite explain.

Ideally I'd use the proper term but there's so many of them - is it your mons, labia, vulva, vagina or what...?

Boys bottom (penis)
Girls bottom (vagina)
Bum (bums)

You could name Piers Morgan after your vagina though...

We have vulvas, penises and vaginas in this house. Because that's what they're called.

Flowers and fifis make me cringe.

I might start referring to my feet as peddyweddydoodahs. And my hair as a flowing moonbeam.

lol @ ogrerebel. I wonder what Freud taught his kids to say.

Freud would have told the girls that they should just call it a penis as that is what they really want anyway.

Ah, there's no good answer, is there? DD is 2 and I think I'm going to go with tinkle (not twinkle).

Or a LOP perchance. A lack of penis. Or The Envy Site. Sounds like no 3 on the crap places to visit list though.

Freud would also have told you that fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Or is that JK Rowling?

we are so far with front bottom in this house - has never really come up other than in the context of "give your bottom a good wash, front and back". Expect more detailed questions will follow at some point, but frankly can't bear the frilly euphemisms.

In fact the more I think about it, the more I think they might be the same person. All that Oedipal oh no a bad lord has killed my mummy crap and the brandishing of phallic wands and the 3 headed dog is clearly the fight between the id, ego and superego.

There are days when it's very clear I need to go Back To Work.

I've just got to say I remember reading a magazine article years ago about people's first sexual encounters and remember a young man saying how genuinely shocked he was when he saw and felt female genitalia for the first time as his family had called it a front bottom and he was anticipating something exactly like his own bottom....but 2 of them.....still makes me laugh.

I can't remember if he liked it or carried a predilection for bottoms, thereafter....

All I can remember from my childhood was my mum explaining the facts of life to me and referring to my dad's penis as his tail.

If a child had come up to me at school and said my fanny hurts, I would have spat my tea out! A child saying fanny just sounds wrong! It's a word I associate with leering boys - you know, get yer fanny out kind of thing

I have heard children call it their tuppence.

We have a DS and we call it willy or plonker todgy or todge, for short

But girls bits.........hmm, prob just a good old old vagina. All though, soft parts is DH's fave wording.

We call ours a doodaah. No real idea why. They know the real names but don't use them

It's a jardin des femmes. Jardin for short.

My step-sister called it her tuppence! She lived full time with her dad and this is what he felt comfortable calling it I suppose.

I suppose if it comes to it I'll call it vagina and willy for boy's although dp often calls my vagina foof so I suppose that'll stick at some point!

We have four boys and now a baby girl so only just deciding on this one.

Think we're going to for the nicer sounding 'sprinkler' because that's just what it does!

floof in our house

missmiss, that should make for interesting talk in their future French lessons...

We used gina with a long i [as in line]