20m ds biting his arm?

[steffee]

My ds2 is 20m old. He has a habit of biting his brother and sister when he doesn't get his own way. Always over toys, e.g. if they are playing with a toy he wants, he tries to grab it, then tries to bite them (and usually does). This happens about 10 times a day and I have tried everything, sitting him on the naughty step / taking the toy away / ignoring it and giving the offended sibling a cuddle.

For the last ten days or so he has started biting his own arm too, and has ended up with a lump on each of his forearms from biting constantly in the same place.

I really don't know what to do about this, I've tried putting him in long-sleeved tops and saying "no" which stops him but then he goes back to it.

Um... maybe I'm being silly!

It may be just like the headbanging that some kids do, a way of releasing frustration and getting attention, if possible ignoring really is the most effective long term approach both for when he does it to others and to himself, when he bites the others, remove bitten child and give lots of attention and ignore him, when he bites himself ignore him completely, if he really hurts himself, just calmly say biting hurts doesnt it and try to distract him without any more attention for the biting. Try to see if you can anticipate biting b4 it happens and distract. Also could do lots of gross motor activities to help him spend extra energy and frustration in constructive ways. HTH

sorry steefee cant think do you think the bitting himself could be attention as too bitting his sibs do they do this throu fustrations i had a boy cant remember this but he was only child i think he bit at playgroup once does your ds go too playgroup

It could be attention seeking but he's not really like that, he can sit and play on his own for hours and isn't really interested in playing with either his brother or sister, or me or his dad, or other children that much. He's completely unlike ds1 and dd, as neither of them will play alone for any length of time... maybe I'm giving them all the attention so he feels that I don't have any for him, but would a 20m old reason like that?

He's been to playgroup a few times and never bitten anyone or been bitten himself there.

I will try ignoring it for a few weeks and see if he stops it. Thanks for the help.

some children are able to play for substantial periods by themselves but still crave attention without having the skills to communicate this need, so it maybe that while he has excellent skills for self play he is unsure how to get what he needs during interactive play, try just setting some time aside for one on one and just imitating what he is doing without really engaging as such and slowly start to do more and more turn taking and interactive play with him giving him a chance to enjoy playing with you and others as well as by himself. Hope that the biting sorts itself out soon.

Ok, that does make sense, thanks Saacsmum!