If your not married do you mind having a different surname...

[mama2moo]

to your children?

Im not married to dp and I am starting to hate the fact that I have a different surname to my 2 girls.

A lot of people tell me to just change my surname. Isnt that a bit weird though?

We have no plans to marry.

I am married, but I have kept my maiden name.

Kids have DH's as it is more generally user-friendly. Doesn't bother me in the slightest, to be honest.

I would like to have the same surname as the children but not that fussed on the getting married part. But it would be weird to change my name without getting married, I agree. I thought about doing it but think DP's family would find it odd.

If not married my babes would have my name.

Ds has dp's surname as the plan is to marry eventually (when we can afford it!). I mind a bit more than I thought I would but it's only a temporary situation.

I am married, and I don't mind having a different name.

Like mazzystarled. I am married but still have my own name, while ds has dh's surname.

My only wee sdaness was that it looked like my very dsitinctive surname would die out in the UK. However, my db is very belatedly having children (twins , so that is no longer the case.

Never been a problem

My DD has my surname as her middle name.

Am married, with different surname. It's fine. Have you considered one child having your surname and one having your DP's? Apparently that happens in Spain (basing this on skimmed-through article on Miriam Gonzalez Durantes so may well be wrong!)

I would hate to have a different surname to my child. I would also hate to lose my surname - I would feel like I'd lost my identity and betrayed my family.

DS has two surnames - DP's and mine.

If we ever got married I would insist that all three of us took both surnames.

Interesting opinions, thanks. I wish that the girls had my surname now.

Maybe we should get married. I think we are stuck with each other now so a quicky/cheap wedding wouldnt be too bad!!

You old romantic... Stop it, I'm filling up

I'm married, and use married name for some things and maiden name for others.

I think taking a DP's name when you are not married is, well it's like she who was outed (re that Guardian column on teenagers) by MN..

We're married, but I've kept my maiden name and my baby will have this surname not my DH's.
DH is a bit of a feminist and doesn't see why children should always have the paternal name...very unusual chap, I know!

LOL tethersend! There is little or no love in our relationship but with 2 children and no money we 'make do'!!!!

Interesting that lots of you keep your maiden name - Why?

Me and my dp aren't married.
The children have his surname.
I'm thinking of changing mine to his as I don't think we'll get married.
It's not weird, have you spoken to your dp about it?
I asked my dp if |I could use his name, he told me I could do what I liked.
When I mentioned deed pole he said if that's what I want

Doesn't bother me at all. We're getting married this year and I'll be keeping my name (my surname is kinda ugly so I wouldn't inflict it on a child, but I'd never change it.)

My Mum never never changed her name and two of my siblings have my step-fathers name. Having different names to my family is entirely normal for me. I find it really difficult to understand why it's an issue.

Why did you give them his name if this is how you feel?

There is no way my DDs would have DH's name if we hadn't been married when they were born.

I didn't change my name when I got married and I don't think having a different name is such a big deal really, but it puzzles me why it is expected that in couples who are not married it is still the man's name that gets handed on.

I mean, if you're that traditional, marry the woman before getting her pregnant (or at least afterwards, shotgun style ).

Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I am genuinely baffled by people who have issues with this.

I have a different first name to the rest of my family too and that never causes any problems either...

im not married and this never bothered me ... until recently. my ds has taken to calling me "mummy surname" a la a pegga pig:"mummy pi-ig". i repeatedly remind him of my own surname and that im not x.

has got me thinking, even feeling a bit sad about it. highlighting that im the odd one out in that way.

but not odd enough to prompt wedding plans.

that said, i do smirk somewhat on the occasions my dp has been called mr speechless!

It would bother me to have a different surname to my children - I'm not married and my baby will have my surname.

Luckily DP isn't bothered so it wasn't an issue for us.

I am married, but still use my Maiden name. DH wants me to change it now we are going to have a baby. I am still umming and Ahhing. I don't really see the point.

get him to change his name if he's so keen