Baby name regret - do you ever get over it?!

[LittleMissWorryHead]

Ever since my youngest was born nearly 7 months ago, i have been OBSESSING that I have given him the wrong name.

dd loves his name, ds1 loves his name, dh loves his name.

But I just can't seem to put a proper full stop on it and forget it.

Does it ever get easier? Am i destined to forever think, I should have called you....?

Has anyone been through anything similar?

My partner and i couldnt agree on names so we came to the decision that if we had a boy i would name him my name and a girl my partner would name. we had a girl. although i dont dislike the name it isnt one i would have chosen,although i do think the child does grow into the name. our daughter is called Gemma. We all call her Gem which i do like. and to be honest most of us have nicknames that we call our children anyway. My poor daughter gets called Willis as she always pulls a face like arnold used to in different strokes when he used to say "what u talkin bout willis" why willis and not arnold i dont know! and also jemima. why? i dont know either. haha.

Gemma is lovely furbz.

I have a 17 yo DS whose name has never felt right- DH threw a wobbly at the last minute and refused to let me use the name I'd had in mind throughout the pregnancy.

I also have a 2 yo DD whose name I chose only after DH had vetoed my favourite names and hers has never felt a proper fit either.

I still love the names of my eldest 3 (2 I chose and 1 DH picked).

My x chose my dd's name and it is nice, we haven't come across another, and it is a lovely name etc... but I still think about Phoebe.. Maybe that's why I'm loitering about on names boards.

FairLadyRantaLot - Have another one! I finally got the name I wanted for DS4's second name: Piers. Didn't liked DS2s name for ages, but it really suits him and it can be said in a really musical, singsong way which he can recognise (he's severely autistic & has speech, language & communication difficulties, but loves music)so that's great. I wanted Miles, which is his middle name.

i called dd1 Ruby and loved it- just didnt eralise the whole world would and there would be hundreds of them. Would chamge now if i could but she is almost 5

I called my dd Caitlin... well my dp chose the name, and although I love it... I can't pronounce it properly without it looking like I'm trying! lol... sounds strange but when I said Caitlin.. I try and use the T but is sounds like I am saying 2 words... if that makes sense? Cait lin ... ohh I don't know! hehe I call her caitie ... I so wanted to call her Ava as I think thats such a pretty name!

he also chose the other childrens names too! I wasn't too bothered as he chose well but sometimes wonder! lol

Thanks for all the replies - really interesting to know that others have been through the same sort of thing.

I think I will need to try and get over it.
I mentioned it to my Father and brother over lunch today (after my Dad called Jacob Joseph twice - that didn't help!) and my brother said "Ugh Luca, don't you dare...."

My Dad stayed quiet about it....

But, Jacob knows his name, he turns when you call him. So as far as I am concerned its too late....so i just have to get over it.

He will grow into it, I am hoping

Why don't you call him Luca at home for a pet name - like at bedtime? Mums always have a "snuggles name" and there is no rule that says it has to be a cutsie nickname. I call DD by her first name all day but if we are having cuddles she gets her special mummy's pet name (actually a sort of combo of her two lovely middle names)and she loves it and takes great comfort from hearing me say it to her if she wakes up.Its then also something really special just for you two (although DH and grandparents now call DD the same if she is upset!). Everyone happy and you a bit smug!!

No, you're definately not alone in feeling like this. I'm not totally happy with my DD or my DS's names...

I was happpy with my DD's name until I had my DS - I never thought I'd have a boy for some strange reason and was saving my other favourite girl's name for baby no. 2 which turned out to be a boy. Now I look at my DD and sometimes wish I'd called that name instead. I am thinking of adding it to her name as I can't bear that I'll never use it. If I was having a girl for the first time now I would definately use this other name.

As for my DS, we call him by his middle name. I couldn't decide between 2 names and it was during the Christening, as the priest was saying his name that I realised that what we'd settled on was wrong! So at the 'do' after the Christening I had to tell everyone to call him x instead of y! Now that is embarrasing... but I was past caring really.

Go with your heart.

x

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. We picked out dd's names ages ago and couldn't decide which order to put them in.

I'm still not sure we got it right. It feels weird calling her by her first name and I'm not sure if this will pass or not as she's only seven weeks old.

Maybe somtimes babies really do have to grow into their names?

When i write down Luca with our surname, it doesn't look right, so I wonder if maybe Jacob is just a bit harsh for a baby...

Lets face it, babies could be called anything, I don't think they "suit" a name - and if you have more than one name and there isn't one that jumps out at you as the one then maybe thats why some of us feel some regret - how do I know if I have given him the right name? What if he was supposed to be a Luca, or a Leo or an Oscar and I have messed it all up by calling him Jacob?

Also, names are so important - they say so much about you I think so I obsess about what someone would think about a grown up Jacob as I have never met one. I think that unless there is a name that you know is the the one, then there is always a possibility of some doubt. I am also the most indecisive person, especially about huge things like this and I think that has alot to do with it.

GothAnneGeddes I am sure your dd will grow into her name, I think it can feel odd to begin with when they are so little.

Chocklit Just out of interest, when you changed your babies name, did you have to do it via deed poll as it was a new name and not a middle name?

Was he your only ds as well?

I am pondering the suggestion of a new name rather than Luca - no idea what dh or other children would think though....

Sorry meant choklit!

i think it really should be upto you. its your baby who you carried, its a totally thankless job and the naming is the best bit. not saying dont consider others viewpoints esp. Dad but (at the risk of flaming!) it is ultimately up to mum!

My story; i have a 4 month old son and was railroaded into a name i wasnt fully happy with. in the registry office i gave him ahis middle name as first which i am much more comfortab

!!....le with.

I have spoken to dh - he is going to speak to someone about it but was pretty adament he doesn't want to change I was so hoping that the suggestion of Leo would make a difference - he only likes Leonardo rather than Leo but anyway, he isn't keen on changing it.

I have no idea where to go from here - I suppose I have to try and move on? He wants me to have counselling about it - not sure how much good that would do though.

If you are really sad about it then counseling might be a good idea. There may be some underlying reason why you feel so down. Perhaps a bit of PND or just sadness about completing your family. Otherwise find your little one a nickname to use whilst he grows into his name. Jacob is a lovely name, but I can see that it might feel a little grown up for a baby. Does he have any special characteristics? My ds has a nickname of Wiggle, and dd is Limpet. These are exclusively parental nicknames

Thanks Choklit I think i started too many threads about it!

Had the talk with dh and he really doesn't like Luca so that really is a no no.

So I have come up with a genius plan which i feel quite happy about actually....

We are thinking of changing his middle name to Leo - then I can call him Leo and dh won't resent it - he asked me how I would feel if, when the baby is older, he prefers Jacob and knows that I was the only one who changed it. I can't live with that.
But if his middle name is Leo, which dh does like, then he may well become a Leo but without me taking Jacob away from everyone.

Phew. God, I feel SO much better about it. Perfect compromise