A couple of threads today has made me realize that my work here is far from done so.....

[seeker]

When you're thinking of a name for a baby you should consider the following points.

1. Do you LOVE the name - and do you think you will still love it in 50 years time?

1. Do you think - even for a second - "Am I brave enough to use this name?" It's not you that's going to need bravery - it's your child. And he or she may not be a brave person.

1. Are people - teachers, employers, strangers, juries..going to make negative judgements about your child based solely on the name or its spelling? I know they shouldn't, but they will.

1. Will MOST people hearing the name assume that it's the opposite gender?

1. Is it a name that will go with a baby, a toddler, a young adult,a middle aged and an elderly person? You REALLY don't want to be a 50 year old Sunshine.

1. Is it a name that might make your child unhappy at any stage of their life? It's bad enough being a dumpy, spotty teenager with glasses - it' s even worse if you're called Apollo or Bellissima. And you don't want to be a Scottish boy called Jesse - for example. Or a girl called Candida.

7 Is it a name that has to be spelled or explained EVERY SINGLE TIME it's used? It's enough of a pain in the neck to have to correct Bryan to Brian - but at least there's 50:50 chance of it being right. Brion hasn't got a hope. Even if you do think it looks better.

If you answer yes to number 1, and no to all the others, then go ahead. If not, then please please think again.

LOL great post!!

Seeker your work is done, for the reasons you state we will not be calling our son Apollo. I've told DH if he loves it so much he should change his name.

i think these days you can afford to be a little bit brave because trends are changing for example 10 years ago when i chose daisy people thought it wasnt a real name (i kid you not) and it was a bit hippyish, now its totally accepable and a little too popular for my liking. the names i like for this one sound a bit posh or old womanish but they will be the norm in a couple of years

what a load of crap.

According to your 'rules' would you have approved of the name Barrack for a boy or Condoleezza for girl?

Probably not!

We judge people on the basis of who they are and NOT on their names!!

Annasamai,
Adults (some anyway) may judge people by their merits, but children and even teens will judge a person by thier name and judge harshly.
Also, names have subtle influences on even those of us who would like to think we are above such shallowness. Someone with an unfortunate name has to work that much harder to be taken seriously or overcome the obvious conotations their name carries.

Its worth considering Seeker's points when naming a child. You don't want to spend years consoling your bullied child by telling them that when they are older people will judge them for who they are not their name.

What is wrong with a less than usual name? People will soon associate any name with a person! It's the person that matters, not the name!!

seeker- you've posted this about 100 times- you're reminding me of lecturers at college who gave reading lists of all their own work! It's a great post and all but please can you write a new one next time?

I must agree Seeker - great post.

My boys have good strong names that are not outlandish and have never be spelt wrong for which I am relieved. Neither are they EbenezerA or EbenezerB!!

Kallum with a K will always be Kallum with a K.

Keren (a friend of mine) is not Karen and will always have to spell it out.

Jorja is not pretty.
Loukas is not good.
Niamh (pronounced NY-AMM) is awful.
Isla is pretty but not when it is pronounced
IZZ-LAR!!

Rant over and apologies to those who might be offended by the above.

i just don't understand why so many on here will happily accept foreign names if people are from that culture, but as soon as somebody comes up with something which strays from the accepted path it is jeered at.

Barrack and Condoleezza are, as far as I know, not unusual names in the culture that the people concerned originate from.

did you have a nice dinner seeker?

so seeker if barack or condaleezza had been called padraig and eithne you would have a problem with that?

DS was very nearly Apollo! I still kind of like it but was a bit worried about how it'd effect him at school

I do hate weird spellings though, just seems to be making life more difficult for everyone involved.

I think there is a BIG difference between a "less than usual name" and a name that is seriously problematic and bound to cause a child trauma.
Made up spellings just look silly, being named after a contraceptive/furniture store/car/wine looks plain stupid, and it's not the poor kid's fault!
You don't have to call your child Jack, but Daynjer will be cursed for life (or until he's old enough to change it).

Ahem - no problem with calling Barack Padraig - he happens to be Irish as anyone in Moneygall, his ancestral hometown, will tell you.

ok yes mr president is not a good example for names outside a single culture.

but half the children i know have names which are utterly unfamiliar to me because their parents don't come from here. i don't point and laugh. i ask how to pronounce it and how to spell it. that is just good manners.

Fishie, I've only seen one person on MN proposing that children should only have names from thier own culture, and she got shouted down immediately.
Foreign names aren't stupid, and unless there is a translation issue/unfortunate cincidence they don't really pose a problem for children.
It's just a case of not chosing a whimsical name that sounds pretty to you without thinking about whether your child will be ridiculed because the name has other conotations.

I have a name that is by no means unusual (in fact it is in the current top 50, possibly even Top 10) but I never felt it suited me and was always a little embarassed telling people my name.

You can follow all the 'rules' and the child may still not be happy with their name and want to change it (I haven't btw).

In the end we are still choosing a name for another person and there will always be a chance no matter what we do that they will not like it. As I always point out different people have different tastes.

So really the only criteria we can use is that we like the name and don't think it's risible.

And there are plenty of examples of names that have been 'hijacked' by products, Flora being a case in point. It is a lovely name but always brings margarine to mind so is a no go in my book. If someone else chose it though I would still think it was a lovely name and would try not to join the ranks of those who reacted by saying, 'What? As in the margarine'. Someone has chosen a name they love for their child and that is an end of it as far as I am concerned. Imagine if the parents of little Jaydens, Kallums and Feebes tried to explain to you why you shouldn't name your child Elizabeth or Joseph.

Hedgewitch - it is ny-am or izz-lar if the parents decide it is.

I dn't think there was an objection to the names themselves, just to people choosing names and then deciding on an 'alternative' pronunciation for them.

Tomas is nice, but he may have to spend his life removing Hs.

So according to this thread you shouldn't choose a phonetic spelling of a name if that's not how it's spelt - Jorga
But also, it is you should ditch any reasonable non phonetic names because people would be too stupid to pronounce them. Really does anyone think Isla should be Iz-la.

May as well just publish a list of approved names and be done with it.

Freakonomics is quite interesting on the subject of predjudice and unusual names. It doesn't matter if you are called Catherine, as soon as someone sees you face to face the prejudice will out.

It is not your duty to work until everyone chooses a name that is to your taste.

I think what GossipMonger was saying was that if you choose a non-phonetic name you should make sure you know how it is pronounced.