A couple of threads today has made me realize that my work here is far from done so.....

[seeker]

When you're thinking of a name for a baby you should consider the following points.

1. Do you LOVE the name - and do you think you will still love it in 50 years time?

1. Do you think - even for a second - "Am I brave enough to use this name?" It's not you that's going to need bravery - it's your child. And he or she may not be a brave person.

1. Are people - teachers, employers, strangers, juries..going to make negative judgements about your child based solely on the name or its spelling? I know they shouldn't, but they will.

1. Will MOST people hearing the name assume that it's the opposite gender?

1. Is it a name that will go with a baby, a toddler, a young adult,a middle aged and an elderly person? You REALLY don't want to be a 50 year old Sunshine.

1. Is it a name that might make your child unhappy at any stage of their life? It's bad enough being a dumpy, spotty teenager with glasses - it' s even worse if you're called Apollo or Bellissima. And you don't want to be a Scottish boy called Jesse - for example. Or a girl called Candida.

7 Is it a name that has to be spelled or explained EVERY SINGLE TIME it's used? It's enough of a pain in the neck to have to correct Bryan to Brian - but at least there's 50:50 chance of it being right. Brion hasn't got a hope. Even if you do think it looks better.

If you answer yes to number 1, and no to all the others, then go ahead. If not, then please please think again.

Don't worry seeker - by definition conformists will always form the oh so dull majority.

Gorionine
That is not what I meant. I meant that while I as an expat in Germany and now Switzerland chose names that were common in Scotland, I would not have chosen a German name if both DH and I were Scottish and living in Germany.

Does that make sense? I don't expect Germans or Swiss living in UK to name their kids James and Emily, but I am not so keen on Germans who live in Germany calling their kids names like Ethan that lots of Germans cannot pronounce.

Ok I see better now MmeLindt, sorry for misunderstanding!

I (think) I understand better what you mean now but still desagree (although less strongly than before). This is where the fashion bit comes in. Television with its lot of movie character from all arround the world + stars from the charts will carry on influancing names in countries the name does not actually originate from because people will start naming after a celebrities they feel a connection with (if that is at all possible)or like the sound of the name, even if the cannot say it with the correct original pronounciation.

Ha ha ha - Gorionine you have just reminded me of a child in Granada, Spain whose mum was a big fan of American films. He was called Kevincostner (usually yelled down the allery in thick Andalusian twang at meal times)

alley no allery - doh!

LOL gorionine, we did consider Helmut and Hildegard but were worried about getting flames on MN

Flamed

My iPhone doesn't know MN speak

I think LuLuBai made a good point earlier. I had a totally ordinary common no-eyebrows-raised name and I still got bullied. Dcs have exotic names, yet they've never been bullied. Life is unfair. Or the world is getting better. Or whatever.

Well, all the teasing I had to go through at school was related to my name.

What's wrong with being a 50 year old Sunshine?

Seriously.

I was taught by a 50odd year old woman called Sunbird. Big whup. It's just a name and it was her name and it suited her.

Not everyone in the world can be called John or Sarah.

But SoupDragon some kids just don't get teased. I have met kids with frankly ludicrous names and no-one has batted an eyelid at them and also seen kids with really ordinary names teased really badly.

I know two brothers called Bill and Ben and it honestly never occurred to them that this was remotely funny until they got to their 20s. They just weren't kids that got teased. And astonishingly not one person mentioned the flower pot men to them. Another child called Ben got taunted with "Ben, Ben's dick is a pen".

The playground is a horrible place at times.

Smuggo.

But whether one likes it or not, names DO have connotations and DO inspire bias either negatively or positively.

If we want our DCs to stand out from the ranks of the 'boring and conformist' thus give them whacky names, surely we are ASKING others to judge them as being free-thinking, off-beat and 'thinking outside the square' types- yet we rile at the idea that people may be judged on their names!

I just think, personally, that in our predominant culture, it's easier for 'Jack' to shine at his avant-guard performance art- or investment banking than it'll be for Sunshine-Skye to walk up to the rostrum to get her Ph.D. I feel SHE will always be pre-judged by her counterparts as being away with the fairies whilst she's TRYING to forge a career in astro-physics or whatever.

I am always amused when working class Simon Clarke and Sarah Cookson meet at uni, get together, then produce Tybalt, Hugo and Letitia Clarke-Cookson. Then pray like crazy that the bonus keeps them at private school!

What's THAT trying to tell us?

aaaaah well name selection and the British class system is a whole different subject all together. Playground teasing is one thing. But lifelong pre-judgements of Keeley / Venetia are rife. I'm sure that is one of the reasons Jack is so wildly popular - it seems to effortlessly transcend class.

I've got a foreign name and gave my daughter a foreign name to try and avoid it all, but I probably didn't succeed....

My name's been one of the most common for ages (I think it was number one for about a decade), and I always have to spell it to people. I've always hated it because it's so common and I loathed being one of so many girls with the same name.

My DH's name is very similar to a very famous film character and gets comments all the time on this (his initials are also unfortunate, as is his middle name). Even passport officials make jokes, but he still loves his name and doesn't care. The teasing has never been malicious either.

I just don't believe it's possible to predict how much your child is going to like their name. My DD has an unusual name (it is a real name though, and isn't too wacky) but we gave her a normal middle name so that she can use that when she's older if she wants.

I have to spell all of childrens names yet they all have traditional names

Phoebe is a very traidtional name yet everyone needs it spelt

Eloisa I get why needs spelling but again it is a traditonal name spelt the traditional way

Conrad Again traditonal and no its not spelt with a K

ok my last one she is called Aoife but again it is a traditional name spelt the traditional way..

I have been surprised by how harshly some Irish names have been dealt with in this thread esp considering how ofen they are suggested on here.. personally I love names like

Aoife Niamh Sian I think they are beautiful names and I dont think they should be only given to Irish people (hence I havent stuck to that)

I hate loathe unisex names and I am stuck with one hence none of mine got a unisex name

kayspace - there is a difference between 'whacky' names and some of the names that get slated on mn as being too cute/ try hard/ inappropriate because they can only be give to someone with Irish or Italian heritage etc.

I will admit that I am not a fan of names with 'made up' spellings or ones that are too obviously trying to be cute or fashionable. But at the same time it does not mean that people with these names are necessarily disadvantaged.

My name has been described as some people on here as being too cute and one which doesn't 'work' for an adult and yet there are millions of us adults with that name and it had never occurred to me that I had grown out of it. If we are going to choose our children's names based on what we think other people are going to tease them with then we are really making a rod for our own backs.

If another child wants to tease our child then they can make something out of any name.

Ye-e-s... but if a DC wants to taunt your DC, a whacky name provides ammunition.

Jack can shrug and say "So What" and the other kids will agree, The taunter will look a prat.

Felix and Tybalt will have to tough it out behind the bicycle shed.

Fwiw, we chose our DCs names based on a) what we liked, tinged heavily with b) what will prevent teasing. We went apostolic! (but not Australian which is MY DCs heritage!)..."Kyleee! Shaane! Yer tea's up!"

And Lonnie, I'd agree BUT your DCs names aren't traditional AND usual! I'd stumble on Eloisa!

Personally I do feel that ethnic names used out of heritage CAN seem a bit pretentious- AND precious when the outraged parent can't understand why you can't spell or pronounce some Irish Gaelic name in Hendon. How many traditional Chinese names can we spell let alone pronounce? Are they less 'valid' than Irish/Scottish trad. names?

Finally, Lulu, the names v. class 'system' may be WRONG but it's THERE. Ignore at your peril!