Using a family name - deceased uncle dilemma

[fall08baby]

I'm 39 weeks and we still can't decide what to do. My partner and I both really like the name Michael. Problem 1: it's my brother's name.

Problem 2: I'm from a family of 2 brothers. One of my brothers passed away years ago. It was suggested that we name our son after my deceased brother but we don't like the name.

We decided to stay away from family names to avoid any issues we may raise by not naming him after his departed uncle. But last night we talked about it again, and we both really want to name our son Michael.

Any advice

IMO. If you like it then use it. You should only feel compelled to name your child a name that you like and not for them to live in the shaddow of a relative (dead or alive). If it so happens that the name you like is also the name of a family member then I can't see what the problem is. I'm sure your brother would be flattered.

Can you use the name of your deceased brother as a second name?

I assume Micheal is the name of your brother that is still alive - have I understood that correctly? WOuld it cause any confusion if your baby has the same name as his uncle?

(((((((((()))))))) using family names can be awkward but i agree with gn, ultimately it is your choice and fwiw michael is a lovely name

Thanks fransmom. Yes belgo, Michael is the name of my brother who's still alive. I don't think there will be much confusion if we use his name.
I do tend to agree with you gingerninja but I suppose I'm thinking about my mother and how she may react.

Then use Micheal. I do think it would be a nice gesture to use your other brother's name as one of the middle names.

You can always give your mum a bit of warning and say this is what you are going to do. Try and soften the blow.

i wouldn't use it at all tbh - i think from the sound of it it would cause too much upset. you could always mention to your parents that you are thinking about it and just see what kind of reaction you get?

o dear, can you talk to your mum about it without stress and upset?

Is the other name a good middle name or do you not want to use it at all?

I'd avoid them both. There are many more than two names in the world! Its not like Michael is some amazingly unique name that you couldn't find a replacement for (imho).

I'm speaking from experience here. My BIL gave his son the same name as his brother (my DH). Its confusing and unimaginative. They come from a family that only seems to have 3 names for boys (Michael, David and John). I can't believe they thought it was a good idea to perpetuate the problem. My DH thinks its really freaky!

I think it's fine. my cousin has the same name as my dad and it's never been a problem.

Is the other name so bad it couldn't even be a middle name?

The other name is fine but we just don't care much for it. We'd use my partners father's name for a middle name if we go with Michael. Our other choice is Oscar which I'm worried may be a bit too original (especially in the States).

Oscar is a great alternative. By too original do you mean unheard of or too popular? TBH I wouldn't let that put you off, if you like it, that's all that should matter.

i prefer oscar to michael...

here in the uk, michael would be far more original in this generation (know lots of little oscars......)

I think that in the States Oscar is not very common. I think it is much more popular nowadays in England. Michael on the other hand is very common in the US, though not as common in England. I suppose I can't worry too much about this because who knows where we may end up living!

Michael is a well known name here just not used that much for this generation. Oscar on the other hand is probably more in current use but has also been a well used name over the generations in the UK. Honestly use what suits. There are some crazy names about that he will not stick out with either of those choices!

Thanks for the advice. We'll mull it over some more, but hopefully we won't have much more time to think about it!