I hate all names ,dont name the blighters.

[Beauregard]

Call them bubs or babee or little shi*
I really dont mind
"Hello pleased to meet you,whats your ugly kid called?"
"Wha ashtray femidom jones?????"
"What a mighty feckin name"

Amen

Hmm yes middle name 'yeouch' after the moment of crowning?

Or perhaps gimmethefarkinggasandairyoutwuntbutdon'tcomenearmeeveragainorIwilldestroyyouwithmynewlyenlragehHOLE

for during?

oh that reminds me of the time i told the doctor who was trying to break my waters, that if he didnt hurry up i would kick him in the face (it was hurting)

My finest birthing moment was my waters breaking explosively over the posh junior doc trying to muscle in. She got a faceload of amniotic fluid and had to go and shower/change, and misssed the birth

So maybe Splash O'Bugger would be good.

i did tell him i loved him afterwards though, so i guess it evens out

weegie....urgh....see and tha is why I could never ever be a midwive...