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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

After weeks of dilemma (Charlotte/Zara/Eve) FIL has just vetoed Eve! And we are registering her name tomorrow :-(

26 replies

Jivegirl · 04/08/2008 11:04

I am totally fed up.

After weeks of debating, we (read: "I") eventually made the decision to register our 5wk old as Evelyn Charlotte and not Charlotte Elisabeth (the name we'd told everyone)

Was really happy with this, even though DP not 100% but then FIL phoned up out of the blue to say how much he hates the name Evelyn, how it's awful, and a 'nothing name'. He said he couldn't live with himself if he didn't make his feelings known and if we wanted to call her Eve we should register her as Eve not Evelyn. And that he is going to call her Charlotte whatever!

I love Eve but with DPs short surname it sounds a bit daft. hence I thought Evelyn would flow better, and give her options when she got older.

The name Evelyn in full has really grown on me over the last few days too. (I preferred Eve initially)

Now DP has said he doesn't mind Eve, but doesn't like Evelyn! I am at my wits end. This from the man who hasn't been remotely interested in the name debate for the last 2 months, other than to offer occasional unhelpful suggestions like calling her Liberty or Trinity

So what I have done is told DP that I love the combination Evelyn Charlotte, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what I want us to register tomorrow. If he wants to suggest an alternative he has to make a suggestion, including surname, then we can discuss it. So far I feel like I've been doing all the thinking only for DP (and his family) to grumble on at my suggestions.

I'm so at FIL but also sad because I actually really respect him (not remotely bothered about MIL opinion!) and also fed up because DP doesn't have an opinion but then is so quick to criticise mine!

Sorry for rambling, just totally fed up today.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RubyRioja · 04/08/2008 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dropdeadfred · 04/08/2008 11:11

I'm shocked that you have actally taken into account anybody's opinion other than your Dp's.
What on earth does it matter what other people think?

butwhybutwhy · 04/08/2008 11:11

Oh tell your fil to piss off.
He's had his children, its got nothing to do with him what you call your child.

How bloody rude of him!

Evelyn is a beautiful name and as you have pointed out, she can choose whether she wants Eve or Evelyn when she is older.
When she starts school its inevitable it will be shortened.

beanieb · 04/08/2008 11:11

Ignore him!

Dropdeadfred · 04/08/2008 11:11

Your FIL will love your daughter whatever her name is...

Overmydeadbody · 04/08/2008 11:13

It's got nothing to do with your FIL what you call your children.

Ignore his comments. Name your DD what you want to name her. It's not up to him to dictate to you.

differentID · 04/08/2008 11:14

tell your fil to jump off a cliff. He had his say in naming his kids, it's your turn.

kosdb · 04/08/2008 11:17

I think your FIL is being totally disrespectful of you. She is your baby and it's your choice, (as everyone else has said.)
Evelyn is a gorgeous name and will suit the little lady she will grow into. I know far too many charlotte's but a lot less Evelyn's.

cyteen · 04/08/2008 11:17

I suggest you ring your FIL back and tell him that his comments were extremely rude and ill-considered, that he will call YOUR CHILD by whatever name you give her and that while he is entitled to an opinion he should think carefully in future about how and when to express it. Tell him you just couldn't live with yourself if you didn't make your feelings known.

Then register her as Evelyn Charlotte, which is a gorgeous name. It's nobody else's business what you and your partner name your baby

TigerFeet · 04/08/2008 11:21

The name you choose for your child has bugger all to do with your FIL. If you have chosen Evelyn then go with it. It sounds as though you have been left to make the decision yourself so you should put your foot down at this point.

Even if he insists on calling her Charlotte, as soon as she is old enough she will correct him herself. IME little girls like everyone to call them by the correct name, my DD is very good at correcting people who get hers wrong.

What an arse your FIL is.

Cappuccino · 04/08/2008 11:25

Eve is a lovely name

my dd2 has it as her middle name - it could easily have been her first name, but we let dd1 decide out of the two names we gave her which would come first

it has BUGGER ALL to do with your fil. It is not his baby. Don't let his relationship with your baby start like this, with him calling the shots

and if he calls her Charlotte instead everyone will think he is a loon, and gradually as she gets older she will tell him quite stroppily that it is not her name

Cappuccino · 04/08/2008 11:25

oh, Tiger has already said all this

go Tiger

CJMommy · 04/08/2008 11:30

Just the same as everyone else! Tell your FIL, thank you for his opinion but it is not welcome, is none of his business, and he will call her by the name you want him too.

Why is it that in-laws think they are so bloody superior when it comes to babies/children??? (as you can see, I am having 'in-law' issues too!)

By the way, Evelyn is a beautiful name and if my next DC is a DD then that name would be at the top of my list...You go girl!!!

Original poster

Jivegirl · 04/08/2008 11:31

Thanks, I needed to hear that!

Wouldn't mind so much if it was just FIL. It's the fact that DP has not wanted to input into the debate at all (other than a few comedy suggestions) but now the day before we register her is being all arsey about calling her Evelyn.

Like I'm forcing it on him and he's having to go along with it.

Despite the numerous, long evenings spent with me poring over name books saying 'what do you think about x or y' with his input being 'maybe' or 'dunno'.

OP posts:

Original poster

Jivegirl · 04/08/2008 11:33

Also I would never dream of phoning him back and calling him an arse. As much as I would like to. I just thanked him politely for his input and said we would consider his opinion.

OP posts:

hw2004 · 04/08/2008 11:44

I totally sympathise with you. I have just had a phone call from my mum and I told her we were considering Isaac as a name. She was horrified, told me it was awful, i 'couldn't' call a child that and she would refuse to babysit if she had to shout that name. FFS!!

Be strong and if you can convince DP then go for it - it's lovely!!

onepieceoflollipop · 04/08/2008 11:51

Nothing to do with your parents or ils or anyone else.

How rude.

p.s. be careful, my friend's dad was sent to register the birth and on the way decided on a "better" name in his opinion, so made the executive decision to use the better name instead. The child was landed with an awful name that hadn't even been discussed with the mum!

LadyThompson · 04/08/2008 12:02

Darling, call her what you like. Your FIL has overstepped the mark imo (how dare he deride your choice as a nothing name!!) and if your DP is not really participating in the discussion except to pipe up and at the last minute be negative, he has forfeited his right to choose.

moondog · 04/08/2008 12:04

What a fucking idiot.
It's nothing to do with him. NOTHING.
Lesson to learn is never to ask people what they think.

edam · 04/08/2008 12:05

FIL had his chance with his own children. He doesn't have the right to veto the names you have chosen! And neither does dp if he can't be arsed to have an opinion.

Tortington · 04/08/2008 12:06

eve it is then its your ki - fuck em

HumphreyPinCushion · 04/08/2008 12:10

The only opinions that count in this decision are those of you and your DP.

Your FIL has acted very badly, and if you give in to his emotional blackmail, I guarantee you will regret it, as he will do this to get his own way again in the future.

You and your DP should decide the names you both like, go and register them, and then send out birth announcement/name announcement cards informing everybody of what those names are.

You don't need to get anyone else involved, or listen to anyone else.

MmeLindt · 04/08/2008 12:24

Evelyn Charlotte is a lovely name. I agree with everyone else (100% agreement on MN, you know you must be right!)

If DP wanted to have a say, he should have taken a bit of interest before now.

Just don't send him alone to register the birth, my mum has a really wierd middle name because Granddad went alone to the Registars.

bluenosesaint · 04/08/2008 12:32

I'm actually going to against the grain here, sorry. I think that if your DP doesn't like the name Evelyn then you shouldn't use it.

Nothing at all to do with FIL (he's had his naming days!) but if her daddy doesn't like her name then that is a problem

I love Eve btw. Would Eve not work if you double barralled your surnames?

lostinlace · 04/08/2008 12:43

Agree with everyone else, you choose the name. My dad, for some reason, struggled with the pronounciation of dd's name for ages which caused me a lot of anguish, but eventually he gave in. Similarly, as we walked into the registry office dp suddenly said 'What about calling her .... ', at which point I looked round for a heavy frying pan to clobber him with!!

Chances are you're going to be saying her name more than anyone else for the first few years, so it needs to be something you say with love rather than through gritted teeth!

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