Please help me find a nickname or double barrel Lucy as I don’t like the name 😔

[GrossedoutGertrude]

My husband is desperate to call the baby Lucy after his deceased mum but I really dislike the name - probably because I had a best friend for years and we had a terrible fall out with that name
Anyway - how can I make it better?
I won’t know for a while if we are indeed having a girl - well about a week as I’m having a private blood gender scan for this exact reason but it’s all I can think about!

Can anyone tell me nicknames other than the normal Lulu, Luce or a double barrel that works well that I could maybe use alone?

I can only think of Lucy-Matilda and call her Tilly for short but husband said that’s basically scrapping Lucy entirely which I guess is true!

thanks so much xx

Offer Lucy as a middle name.

It's all very well to want to honour the dead, but that doesn't give either one of you carte blanche to override the other's wishes and insist on a name one of you dislikes. You need to stand firm on this.

Your (possible) future daughter is not a clone of his dead mother, and is not to be used as a substitute. Stand firm.

I'd be very clear on the fact that I disliked the name Lucy, and that I was offering him the 'middle name' option out of love for him and that's the best I was going to do. No amount of whinging or begging would get me to agree to actually name and call her that.

I dont think you should call your child Lucy if you hate the name! Can't you just use it as a middle name? Then you are honouring your partners mum, but also giving your child their own identity (and an identity that you both like!)

Otherwise, how about Lucia?

I agree with the middle name option. You need to like the first name too.

I do like pp suggestion of Lucia - I’m not a fan of Lucy but think Lucia is really pretty. Luciana, lucille or Lucinda could be options too

If it has to be a first name, make it longer rather than shorter?

• Lucille
• Lucia
• Lucinda
• Luciana
• Lucienne
• Lucilla

can it not go into the middle of the name? I do think naming a baby directly after a beloved dead relative is a lot of pressure.

I don think if you can't get over your ex mate having the name, then you really need to not use it. you're going to wince every time anyone uses it.

Lu is the obvious least Lucy one. what about styling it around Lucy instead - Lucia and call her Cia (sia)?

also getting a gender scan to prepare yourself for having to use a name you hate is ridiculous. he needs to understand this is unreasonable.

Use it as a middle name.
Don't use something like Lucinda unless you genuinely like the name - they don't honour the relative.

Hyphenated names get shortened anyway. Lucy-May will be Lucy.

It's your baby too.

Yes, this is completely mad. It’s an awful name and you don’t want to use it.

I have tried to talk to him about this but it was a very traumatic death when he was a child so he isn’t able / willing to let it go

I know it sounds extreme but he’s said the same thing for 20 years

Difficult situation but you really mustn't call a child a name you hate. The fact that he's so fixated on it for 20y sounds like an unresolved grief issue- hardly surprising in the circs- and it might be worth him seeing a counsellor as I'd be worried about his expectations of how this baby might heal his trauma.

Middle name is the obvious answer.