How do diminutives work in everyday life?

[KellsBelk]

This may seem like a stupid question, but how do diminutives work in everyday life? When someone who goes by a diminutive (or really any name that is not their actual first name) sends an email, do they use their full name or the diminutive? When they’re meeting someone new, do they introduce themselves as their full name, diminutive, or both? Which name do they give for takeaway orders? We’re considering a name that will probably inevitably be shortened (even if we don’t shorten it ourselves), and I’m curious what this will look like. I’m not close with anyone who has a name like this, so I truly do not know.

This Op.

And to be honest, it is only on MN that I find people who are not totally au fait with the concept of dropping naturally in and out between Nick and Nicholas, Ben and Benjamin, Sam and Samuel or Samantha.

At my school we had some teachers who would call Samantha "Sam," and some who didn't, and that was more about the style of teaching of the teacher than the request of the pupil. These days I rather expect parents and children are more assertive about stating what they will accept, but the general principle remains that normally people can absolutely understand what is going on and even very young children will answer happily to Olly or Oliver.

I don't know why there is such incredulity around this concept on MN and so many who will say "Just put the diminutive on the BC if that's what they will use."

I think it's rather nice to be able to be Alex to friends but Alexandra in a job interview or on your passport.

Another thing about using diminutives is other people deciding it is not "proper enough" and calling you by the long version when you've introduced yourself as the short version. If I've introduced myself as x you should call me x not y.

Worse still is where they actually get it wrong. I know a Ben who gets called Benjamin but he's actually Benedict and a Mandy who gets called Amanda when she's actually Miranda (but hates it). So there's also the issue with know-it-alls who think they know better than you what your "real name" is.

I use my full name for emails and suchlike but introduce myself using my diminutive as otherwise people will call me by my full name, or even worse, by a different diminutive.

DS is only ever called by the diminutive of his name, actually took a while to convince him that the full version is his real name, and most of the time when I'm writing his name for e.g. signing up for clubs I use the diminutive. Its also the name teachers call him by.

This is an occasional problem for DH because his parents gave him a common diminutive as his full name (so, for example, Alex is his legal name). It causes problems because sometimes other people just assume he must be Alexander and put that for something more official, which then doesn't match his ID.

"wasn’t even his middle name, there was some long story re why he’d got the nickname in the Army".

The armed forces and emergency services are a weird and wonderful law unto themselves with nicknames.

Their full name would be used, obviously.

My only gripe with using my diminutive is that it starts with a different letter to my full name (which only my family use). My email adress at work is always the inital of my full name, but everyone knows me by my short name. People have emailed the wrong address on more than one occasion.

I wish I had picked a different short form.

You don't know anyone who uses a diminutive name?? No Joe, Will, Matt, Rob, Tom, Theo, Nate? Kate, Liz, Becky, Sue, Jan? None of them?

This. It's only on Mn that parents--to-be bob up with odd questions like 'What could Baz be a diminutive for? Or 'If I want to call my child Fee, should I put Fiona or Phoebe or Josephine on the birth cert?'

I don’t know, but the existence of diminutives complicates things. People aren’t able to want to be called their full name at all times without being labelled as difficult or precious. It’s ridiculous.

@KellsBelk , I go by the diminutive. Work profile, cv etc are in the name "Mia Kulper" but my full name might be Mariana Louise Kulper.

I don't find that. Most of the people I know go by the full version or they go by the diminutive.

I've sometimes been corrected by a David, Stephen, or Joanna when I've accidentally shortened their name, and by Lin, Nic, or Pete who don't like being called the full version.

Husband and I both use diminutives of our given names, in our professional lives as well as everywhere else. Only two people use my full name, my mum because she gave it to me and my sister because she doesn’t feel I should be allowed to choose anything different. I’m sure she knows it bothers me and that’s why she does it. My dad and my brother swapped without problem.

My diminutive is an uncommon one for my actual name. I chose to change it when I was in my late 30's. I only use my "proper" name for official things as I didn't want to go through the hassle of changing it formally. Most people don't know my actual name. The only person who uses it is my dad privately but he refers to me as my diminutive to other people.

Both my children have long names with common diminutives. One chooses her full name most of the time but doesn’t mind if it’s shortened. As she’s got older she goes by the shorter one.

My youngest’s name naturally got shortened from Christopher to ‘Chrissy’ which is what all his friends call him.

I have a name that can be shortened but isn’t always. Let’s say it’s Jessica and I get called Jess quite a bit. I usually introduce myself as Jessica and sign emails as Jessica but if I’ve been emailing someone for a while and we’ve got fairly friendly I might start signing it as Jess. What annoys me is people who have never asked me what I prefer or maybe have never even met me just presuming I go by Jess and writing that at the start of an email.

I changed mine officially to the diminutive as soon as I was able

The people who told you it’s unprofessional are weird.

You can give any name you like to a takeaway mate… why is that on your mind? You could tell them your name is David Cameron they’re not checking

I use my full name in work and formal contexts and use my diminutive with family, friends and social settings.

Maybe they'd never heard of Steve Jobs or Jeff Bezos.

My DC are the same. Schools offer an option on the register for a ‘known as’ name so your child should always be called the name of their choice at school. In my day, I often got the full name from supply teachers but soon learned to speak up and state my preferred name.

Or Bill Gates.

Or indeed Andy Burnham, or Tony Blair, or Alec Douglas-Home, or Ted Heath.

Or Joe Biden, or Bill Clinton, or Jimmy Carter...

etc etc

The last two CEOs I've worked for (for large, professional bodies) have both gone by diminutives. And used them for their official signatures, too.

Or Liz Truss.

Sir Edward Heath wasn't Ted any more than Mrs Thatcher was Maggie.

I found out fairly recently, that my name on my birth certificate is different from that on my passport. I don’t think they used to overly scrutinise these things, as my Mum’s was the same. I’ve only ever been known by the diminutive, never the long version, which is Slav, can be pronounced in different ways and is generally a pain. I’ve only ever had to produce my passport for ID.